How do I do the Cry It Out Method with my 1 year old??

Question

She has been rocked or nursed to sleep for a year, and now when she gets up at night she can not put herself back to sleep without it. I am pregnant again, and this has to stop, not only for me, but she needs a good night sleep too!!

Answer 1

Start off slow. When she wakes, let her cry for 5 minutes. Then go in, comfort her (without picking her up).....rub her back, talk calmly......then tuck her in and leave. She's gonna have a fit. Let it go on for 10 minutes. If possible, send Daddy in this time. Same thing......comfort, soft words, etc. It's gonna be a looooooooong night for the next three nights or so. But if you stick to your plan she will get the idea after awhile. If she sucks her thumb or takes a passy don't discourage these comfort methods right now. Let her do whatever she needs to do to self-comfort. You can think about breaking these habits later.....or she will do it herself when she doesn't need them any longer.

Answer 2

Two ways. You may want to start with the first method first and then if that's not working go the the second.

The first- Put her to bed and leave the room, go in at 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 15, minutes (increase by 5 minutes each time.) Don't pick her up, just let her know you're not leaving her.

Second method - Cold turkey (this is the ONLY method that worked for my son, he got wound up again when we'd go in and check so we went cold turkey). Put him to bed and don't go back in. At 1 year your child is old enough to know you are not abandoning them, especially when you show up again in the morning. This can sometimes take a week or two, but each day or every couple days the crying will be less and less.

I suggested starting with the first, because you've never done anything like that before. It might be easier for your daughter if she at least knows you are still around. You could just do it for a night or two and then go cold turkey or, if it's working you can keep it up.

I also suggest, a book called, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy child", by Dr Marc Weissbluth. especially since you are pregnant, read it from front to back, even though your 1 year old is older than some of the ages discussed in various chapters.

Answer 3

This is how it worked when I let my daughter cry it out.

The first night lots of screaming and crying and her saying MAMA!!! This went on for 2 or 3 hours. The second night about an hour or two. The third and fourth nights around an hour maybe a little less. The fifth and sixth nights about 15-30 minutes.

Each night the crying got less intense. We did that several months ago and now she's just fine and sleeping all night long without a peep. She's a great nighttime sleeper. She's 19 months old.

Answer 4

I was in a similar situation. I had a one year old and was expecting another child. My one year old was still sleeping in our room and would wake several times a night and only go back to sleep with some milk and comfort. We used the book: Good Night, Sleep Tight". It is a modified Cry It Out Method. We moved my daughter into her own room and crib and cut out night time feedings in less than a week. I do not work for this author-it just really worked for us. My daughter was so ready to be in her own room and she loves it. Bedtime is very sweet and not stressful at all. Good luck! It is difficult-especially those first few nights!

Answer 5

She's probable in her crib so she can't get out so all you have to do is when she's crying go over to her and make sure that theres nothing physically wrong with her talk to her comfort her, let her calm down,TELL HER WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO DO. then put her back in the crib. Every night put her in her crib and stay in the room (sit in a chair) I know she'll be crying and screaming but if you just JUST TALK TO HER leave her in the crib ( if you really need to just pick her up to calm her and put her back) eventually she'll stop and fall asleep. She just needs to know that your there.
Just every night slowly move your chair out of her room.

You need to make a a bed time routine for her that is all about her like stories and singing songs, maybe even play some music for her to listen to as she lays in bed. give her a night light she might not like the dark
I'm going the same thing with my 10 month son he refuses to go to be with out nursing and this is what I'm doing now. I also have 2 other children so I'm trying to get him on their bed time routine, More for my self for my time.

Hope it works for you.
If you go to the library you can find books with ore detail.
Depending on where you live you can also call your local public health nurse they will also provide you with some advice as well.

Answer 6

We did this with my daughter when she was 9 months old. She was still waking up once a night, my husband and I both work, and we have a son who is 17 months older than she is. I was so ragged from lack of a good night sleep, we decided to bite the bullet and let her cry it out.

The first night: she woke up, cried...I went to her to make sure she was okay (like no limbs sticking through the crib or anything). I told her it was still time for sleep, told her to lay down, and I physically laid her down, pat her back a bit, and walked out. She cried for about 45 minutes, which was extremely painful to listen to, but she then fell asleep.

Second night: Exact same drill (don't pick her up!) and she cried about 20 minutes.

Third night: Same drill -- she cried for about 5 minutes.

Fourth night: Blissful, full night's sleep.

And she's been sleeping through the night ever since. It's really difficult, but it's effective and so worth it.

Good luck!

Answer 7

You don't just let her cry and cry and cry, and frazzle your nerves and hers. But you can start to let a little of that frazzled nerve creep into your voice. Once you have gone to her and ascertained that there is nothing really physically wrong to make her cry, you can talk to her in a slightly stern voice and say, "Now look. You have to get used to change. You are growing up. Lay down and go to sleep. I will only stay here a minute." Then put her down, don't keep hugging her, and let her get past the temptation to keep on crying just because you laid her down with "Now, calm down. Nothing is wrong. Go to sleep." Not harsh, but not "babying," either. Pat her back a minute, but don't pick her up again. Just be a little more firm as time goes on.

She has to learn that she cannot control you with her crying, but she does not need to cry to the point of exhaustion to do that. That just makes her feel you will not respond to an alarm when there is an emergency, that she really is alone, that you are not just in the next room, that maybe you are gone forever, that she is helpless in that little crib . . . and panic ups the whole thing. Neither of you need that.

Answer 8

Toddlers regularly require parental intervention to get back to sleep until the age of 24 months. It is perfectly normal.

Armstrong KL, Quinn RA & Dadds MR. The sleep patterns of normal children.
Medical Journal of Australia 1994 Aug 1;161(3):202-6.

The above study is the definitive work on sleeping habits of (Australian) children to 38 months. The researchers surveyed 3269 parents, with a 96.5% response rate, over a one week period. The parents had to report on their child's sleeping habits over the past 24 hours, plus answer a few questions related to their perceptions of their child's sleep behavior.

What did they find?

* There is a wide range of normal childhood sleep behavior.
* Circadian rhythm is not well established until four months of age.
* Daytime sleep becomes less regular with increasing age, the most marked reduction in length occurs around 3 months of age. However, a surprising 11% under 3 months of age don't have a daytime sleep every day.
* Frequent night waking that disturbs parents is common from 4-12 months (12.7% disturb their parents 3 or more times every night).
* Night time settling requires more parental input from 18 months.
* Nearly a third of parents have a significant problem with their child's sleep behavior.
* Sleeping through the night: 71.4% did this on at least one occasion by 3 months of age, but many of these relapse into more frequent waking in the 4 to 12 month period. It is not until after 24 months that regular night waking (requiring attention) becomes much less common.


Scher A. A longitudinal study of night waking in the first year.
Child Care Health Dev 1991 Sep-Oct;17(5):295-302.

Abstract: A longitudinal study of the development of sleep patterns addressed the issue of continuity and change in night waking in the course of the first year. Mothers of 118 infants, who took part in a follow-up study of normal babies, completed a sleep questionnaire at 3, 6, 9 and 12 months. Regular night waking was a common characteristic throughout the first year:
Baby's age% babies waking at night
3 months 46%
6 months 39%
9 months 58%
12 months 55%

Answer 9

it will take a while. about 2-3 weeks of crying for up to 2 hours, but just make her do it. Just let her cry and cry and even though it's hard, it will be better for everyone in the long run.
We did a version of cry it out when our daughter was 5 months old. She never cried more than 10 minutes and now she's a champ at 10 months. She never cries. She fusses, but doen't cry.
For the second one, start earlier than a year because as the kid gets older, the harder it is. Good luck!

Answer 10

Have you read "On Becoming Baby Wise"?That book helped me soooo much on getting my son to sleep through the night.The book says it takes at least 3 nights to break a habit so you have to let her cry it out for 3 nights-it seems mean but she will learn to calm herself and get herself back to sleep.