today whilst i was in town i took my eye off my 6 year old daughter for 10 mins to look at things. in this time she managed to disrupt the place throw something which accidently hit a little boy of in the head which caused him to split his lip and make his mouth bleed profusely. i feel total remorse and feel like i have failed as aparent because i took my eye off the ball. it didnt help that the parent told me i was an unfit mother and shouldnt be allowed to have kids if i cant control them? then to made matters worse my friend who was with me started saying that if i was stricter with my child and watched what she was doing these things wouldnt happen. she said it was my own fault because she thinks that i dont punish her enough. now i have come back from town feeling awful and depressed. help am i really that bad?
2006-12-22 03:31:08 · 30 answers · asked by jennifer f 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Calm down, love. These things happen. Everybody takes their eye off the ball (or the child!) once in a while.
You've had a horrible day, but it's over now.
Have a nice cup of tea (or glass of wine if you prefer) and relax.
Happy Christmas :-)
2006-12-22 03:35:30 · answer #1 · answered by mcfifi 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋
You're probably not a bad parent. Feeling awful and depressed won't help. Learn from your mistake. How would you have felt if a little boy had hit your daughter? The thing is, you are responsible for your child. When you're out in town you CANNOT take your eyes off your daughter. 10 minutes was far too long. You cannot let her run riot! Make her part of what you do! You can look at things and ask her what she thinks of them, make a game out of it. If really you need some time for yourself, then get help, have her looked after for a couple of hours and go out and treat yourself.
Good luck!
2006-12-23 06:59:02 · answer #2 · answered by Stef 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
I sounds like you just had a bout of bad luck, ur defintley not a bad mother, No mother can keep an eye on there kids 24/7 there bound to make a few mistakes and punishing them isn't always a good thing.
I think the mother of the child was probably just in shock as her son wa bleeding, lip cuts r always so much worse trhan they seem, as theres so may more blood vessels there than in the face skin etc. and more than likely ur friend was embarrassed.
I would suggest forgetting all about it, every mother had a bad experience when shopping, it doesnt make any of them a 'bad Mother'
Rx
2006-12-22 15:34:20 · answer #3 · answered by Renee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your not a bad parent (you cant watch your child every minute and you would think that a 6yr old could be trusted to stay out of trouble for one second, 10mins alone is quite long tho) but I agree that you should punish your child. by the age of 6 a child should know that throwing things at people is wrong. if it was a toddler you could understand. The other mother was probably just in shock. you would probably have said the same thing if you had just seen your childs mouth split open by an unattended child. Even if it was just for a second, when your in shock you dont think of the reasons behind it. maybe you could try using wrist strap (like the one toddlers have to keep them close by) untill you feel she can be left alone, at least then she will always be where you can see her. (just an idea) good luck!!
2006-12-22 11:43:56 · answer #4 · answered by shining star 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are a bad mother for than that then almost ever parent I know is. You can't keep your eyes on your children all the time it's just not possible. Thing happen they are kids and they do things they're not supposed to do. The thing is after they do something like that they need to learn from it. Not only that it was wrong but why it was wrong and better ways to act. She six and she's going to do more things than just throw something. Your friend in my opinion was way off base for saying what she said. I wouldn't worry about be a bad parent just make sure she understand what she did was wrong.
2006-12-22 12:09:58 · answer #5 · answered by tragedys_eyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
bad parent is not a good way to say it......i think you're friend is right about you not being strict and punishing enough.....when i was a kid if i would have even thought of throwing something in the store i would have been sore right then and there and i'd be willing to be you probably had the same upbringing....you need to put fear in your child let her know that you are the boss and that isn't going to change.....as far as the other lady calling you an unfit mother F@CK her what does she know about you....her kid is probably being babysat by the tv all day long and has numerous toys that they don't need and is getting fatter and fatter by the day stuffing their face with fast food and candy while she has "more important" things to take care of.....if you value your friends opinion on the matter ask for help on what to do(only if they have kids too).......be strong be confident don't let this get you down
2006-12-22 11:43:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the last thing you can do is to feel bad about yourself.
instead, you should learn how to improve yourself.
being too strict with the child isn't going to do the child any good.
that would be called authoritarian parenting style.
however giving in to the child's wimp and fancy is also not good, this is the indulgent parenting style.
the best way to bring up a child is using the authoritative parenting style;
that is to discipline the child properly.
to set limits for the child but not be too harsh with the punishment even if your child fails to meet your standard.
negotiate rules and regulation with them,
so that they will be able to hit the standard because it is set by themselves.
obviously, you cant be looking over your child 24/7.
you should look eye to eye with your child and said
"mummy's going to take a look at ..... "
let your child take responsibility like
" oh sweetie's already six year old, a big girl i believe she will know how to behave....."
and maybe you could give her stuff like sticker??
at the end of the day.
to earn stickers at the end of the day if she was good.
with 20 stickers, she could get something that she wants?
dont worry about being a bad parent.
maybe you could take up courses..
or check on authoritative parenting style.
good luck yo.
2006-12-22 11:52:50 · answer #7 · answered by Melissa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no, not a bad parent. A little absent minded - maybe, I mean 10 minutes is a long time not tocheck for your 6 yr old (maybe you are exaggerating and it was only a few minutes). Don't listen to people, and that person is NOT a friend.
Just try to make sure you do punish your child if she has done something wrong, you after all have to prepare her for the real world and the real world has consequences for everything we do.
2006-12-22 20:19:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that this is bothering you, proves your not a bad parent! If you were, you wouldn't have given this a second thought.
As a 21 year old with no children I cant offer you advice about parenting but I do know that when me & my brother were growing up we had our naughty moments (what child doesnt), but I have a terrific mother & she may at times have thought she was un-fit, when in fact all it comes down to is that everybody makes mistakes, we learn from them & that in itself makes us better people...
Stop worrying, and I hope you and your daughter have a good christmas x x x
2006-12-23 15:15:53 · answer #9 · answered by Loz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
these days we have to watch our children all the time so they are not taken from us. but like you said its hard to watch them and shop at the same time. next time you go shop in shifts. have your friend keep an eye on her while you are looking at things. this will make it easier. your not a bad mom, your friend is only trying to help and was probally embarresed thats why she said those things and the other mother had no right to say that to you. if she was watching her son better she should have been able to make sure nothing hit him in the head. don't worry as long as you love her and treat her well you are a good mother.
2006-12-22 11:36:49 · answer #10 · answered by littleluvkitty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you have failed as a parent...i think you did what we all do and that is prove your human....give yourself a break.....you got distracted....next time you go into town you will probably keep a closer eye on your daughter and do what we all do and learn from your experience.....instead of letting you know all of your mistakes maybe your friend could have helped you watch your daughter..or maybe her responsibility was just to make you feel worse.......let it go and enjoy the rest of the day
2006-12-22 12:14:16 · answer #11 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋