I am very disturbed because of my in laws interference in my life. I am pregnant and feel very alone and insecure as my husband just listens to his mom. My father in law is very abusive towards all of us including my mom in law and I dont wish them during my pregancy and early time of kids raising. But my mom in law continuously tries to convince my husband with all emotional tricks that being a good son he should take care of his old age father and he should be allowed to stay with us for the sake of kids. Also, we should remain cool and calm for any of his behaviour to give him mental peace. And my husband also ensures her to come and stay with us and tells that parents are more important to him than his wife and parents has always a better right over the son than his wife. So, I dont see any scope to talk with my husband as he will never understand my worry that it's very tough to live in constant tension when my in laws will be around.
2006-12-22 02:44:10 · 5 answers · asked by M J 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your husband has a moral obligation to help his parents when/if they are not capable of being independent any longer. HOWEVER, his first and most important obligation is to you, his wife and to any children you may have. Does he have any siblings who could share in the caregiving of the parents? They should be in their own home as long as possible. It would be very stressful for them to live with you. The bottom line is your communication with your husband. He is YOUR husband and he is obligated to YOU first. If he can't/won't acknowledge this, he's not much of a husband and you need to re-think your marriage.
2006-12-22 02:57:18 · answer #1 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if you are religious or were married in a church but MOST vows say leave thy father and mother and cleave(stick) to your wife. Remind your husband of that. If he won't listen then you have some tough choices to make. If you stay and the in-laws move in then you could dial 911 when your father-in-law becomes abusive. The other choices are to leave or just stay and put up with the abuse. Good Luck.
2006-12-22 03:04:14 · answer #2 · answered by SHERRI 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweety you have all your life in front of you. The birth of a child is a happy occasion; you don't deserve to be disturbed at such a time.
They never change.... niether husbands nor in-laws. You dont have to put up this crap. Just leave. You seem to be well educated girl, I'm sure you'll find a job to suit you. And who knows you may even find a better man someday!
I wish you all the luck and courage!
2006-12-22 02:58:26 · answer #3 · answered by B.B. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do understand ur concern and trust me it wud b very tuff for u to change the attitude and behaviour of ur in-laws coz they have been living the same since years and in order to change ur husbands nature it wud be tuff mam coz anything that u tell now will give u a kickback as ur husband may say that ur trying to make him go against his own parents and at this point of time ur husbands support is very important .....please mam do not take any mental stress as it wud not be good for u and would suggest u to stay with ur parents till ur delivery .....things wud change once the kid is in the world and mam now u have a reason to live ur child so forget in laws forget husbands nature give ur love to ur child and see him stand as ur strenght
2006-12-25 21:58:25 · answer #4 · answered by sameer_billu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm so sorry you're going throught this. yet, it relatively is incorrect. as quickly as a guy takes a spouse, she comes first and is the main serious element. as quickly as a infant comes, then the youngster comes first, the spouse 2nd, and family members final. Your husband ought to opt to be a good son. yet, if his father's abusiveness is going to electrify his youngster's citing, he ought to point different alternatives. mom-in-regulation is basically elementary jealous. She is hit upon to being the only woman in his existence. you ought to forget approximately approximately her. what's substantial is that your husband is familiar with who takes precedence. i wish you have spoke to a minimum of one yet another in regards to the way you intend to develop your infant. in case you have, then basically say to him that abuse isn't in my plans for infant rearing. besides, i wish you come across a thank you to communicate this which incorporate your hubby. in case you're no longer able to communicate and tell him the way you sense, and he does not understand; you haven't any longer have been given a marriage. besides, good success with each and every thing and attempt to appreciate your trip journeys!!
2016-10-15 10:45:03 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋