I have been dating a wonderful man for nine months. My ex is extremely jealous and has devoted many hours to digging into my current bf's past. In the beginning he brought up an old car-pool personthat my bf supposedly had a relationship with and my bf and I decided that the past is just that and there was no sense in bringing it up or dwelling on it. But he never answered the question of if he was in a realtionship with this woman ( if he was, it would have meant he was cheating on his then-wife). It all died down until today, when my ex started leaving voicemails saying that he met another person who knew for a fact that my bf was involved in a serious relationship with this other woman while he was married. Should I bring it up again with my bf and demand an honest answer this time or should I let sleeping dogs lie and just ignore my psychotic ex?
2006-12-22 02:36:17 · 17 answers · asked by babe 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
So let me see if I understand you... You are suggesting taking the word of psychotic ex and letting that serve as the basis for possibly trashing a relationship you have with someone you consider wonderful? Your ex clearly has issues and, more than likely, some kind of axe to grind. On some level it sounds as though he doesn't want you to be happy and is trying to scuttle your relationship under the guise of "looking out for your best interests."
After having considered your situation, I suggest the following: (1) Your ex is your ex for a reason -- stop entertaining his BS; (2) Other than drug abuse, sexually transmitted diseases, hidden children, and a criminal record, treat everything your current "wonderful" boyfriend has done in the past as prologue to your relationship; and (3) only hold current indiscretions against the new guy because those are things that would violate your trust.
2006-12-22 02:44:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore the ex and move on. You'll never have real proof. Your psychotic ex could be making up the story, and have found someone who is willing to lie for him and tell you what he wants them to say. Your only proof of your new guys morals is how he treats you.
I dont beleive once a cheater always a cheater, so even if he did cheat on his wife, as long as he doesnt cheat on you
2006-12-22 02:41:22 · answer #2 · answered by ♥ Ladylike ♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the past should only be talked about when it effects NOW. Yes you need to ask him, in a nice way be case then if it is true that means he is a CHEATER and once a CHEATER always a CHEATER. Do not always trust your EX but if you have that feeling that your EX is telling the truth go with the feeling b/c after all I am sure you Know your EX better than you know your b/f now. Go with your gut!!
2006-12-22 02:40:54 · answer #3 · answered by lizzy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well... You should ask him if he has ever cheated before. This question should usually be asked on the first, second or third date before getting serious with someone. If a person has cheated ONCE, they will cheat again. Cheating is a part of someones personality and cant be changed. I have friends who have been cheaters for years and STILL do it. So be careful sweets.
2006-12-22 02:46:40 · answer #4 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can a tiger change it's stripes to polka dots? I have a friend that cheated on every bf she ever had. She found "the one." She got married. After 6 months of being married she informed me that when she was on a business trip she invited a guy back to her hotel room. I'd really like to see a polka dotted tiger but I haven't.
2016-03-29 03:42:07 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it depends. what would your reaction be if your ex is telling the truth? if you feel ok that your bf has cheated before, then you can just let it go. but if you have a problem with that, then you need to talk about it with your bf, otherwise you're always going to be wondering if he'll do it again. best of luck!
2006-12-22 02:41:41 · answer #6 · answered by LoriBeth 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore your ex. I've been in this same situation. I say if it's not broke don't fix it. If he's not showing you signs now that he's being unfaithful then don't let his past problems affect something thats going good. Tell your ex to get a life and move on!
2006-12-22 02:39:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your psychotic ex has a valid point. If this person was having an affair while he was married and he is hesitant to speak about it at all with you, he could be hiding his true nature that he himself is in denial with, and he probably will at sometime cheat on you too.
2006-12-22 02:40:37 · answer #8 · answered by garo g 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is not up to your ex to do this..... he is trying to break you up.
You need to ask your bf for the truth, straight out.
do not listen to heresay and rumors.
If he won't answer you, you have the truth...
then you can move on to someone else...
If he gets all defensive and evasive you knw what he says is a lie.
You will then have your ammunition to make your own judgements on this relationship.
Is he a liar and a cheater... you will know immediately....
2006-12-22 03:23:05 · answer #9 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
come on, that is part of his past, you're ex its just trying to make you broke up with your actual bf.....ignore him
2006-12-22 02:40:46 · answer #10 · answered by Gabs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋