What can a single mom do for some sanity?

Question

I have two very small children ones three and the other seven months. I am always mom and care taker. I know that's my most important job, but i have not been away from my little ones in seven months. I love them very much, but i am kinda going loopy. I really want to get away but i feel so guilty, i guess from how my mother treated my sis and i and also because my kids are without a father. How can i over come these feelings of deep guilty to maintain my sanity? I feel like i am between a rock and hard place. any sugestions welcome thanks

Answer 1

You need to hang out with other people, with or without your baby.
It took me a while too, to be able to trust someone with my baby. But eventually, as I figure it worth the try, I can have some of my life back.
Don't feel guilty, you've done a great job for the past 7 months, now it's your turn to have some time for yourself. I suggest you to hire a babysitter, or have a best, trusted, friend come over, even for an hour - and enjoy an hour for yourself.
You don't have to get out of the house, you can take a long bath, or just watch a movie you've been wanting to see.
Or maybe if you go out, you can do grocery shopping (you'll feel less guilty cos you're running errands instead of "abandoning" the child).

To keep your sanity, you need to have sometime for yourself. Even if you love the person so much, spending 24hours for 7 months is not health.

Answer 2

Having a babysitter for a night a week will really help you have some "me" time. I know it's hard finding a babysitter for two children but you'll be surprised you will do this. My sis-n-law would have a friend sleep over once in a while so she could have a night out. Everyone needs a break sometimes, you shouldn't feel guilty for that. Or any family members that would love to have a sleepover with the children at their house. My aunt has my cousins in a school where they go for about two hours everyday or so and she gets tons done. Look around or ask neighbors that have children if they know of any places. I'm sure you'll come up with something, i'm thinking about the same thing for my son who is three.

Answer 3

If you belonged to a church, you should find some help there. Do you have some girlfriends that are going through the same thing? Maybe you could form a CoOp type group. Maybe with 3 other moms you could switch off. One Saturday two of the moms watch all the kids, while two have a day off. Then it switches, and the two that had the day off, the next time would be the babysitter. The reason I say to do this with at least three other moms is because when it is your turn to watch more than just your kids, you'll go crazy. Other people's kids drive you crazier than your own do.

Don't feel guilty for these feelings. Kids will drive you crazy, especially at those ages. And you do need to have your batteries recharged one in a while. Good luck.

Answer 4

Just because being mom and caretaker is your most important job that doesn't mean you don't deserve a break from time to time. You need to find a way to get out of there for a little while. Do you have any friends who have kids? Maybe you could switch out and give each other a break now and then....you watch her kids one day while she gets out and she could watch yours one day while you get away for awhile. You do not have to feel guilty for wanting some time away, that is not wrong of you at all. You will be an even better mother if you will take some time for yourself. You will be no good for the kids if you are NUTS!!

Answer 5

I would recommend you go to a local high school and see if they have any child development programs. Some single mothers talked my teacher into giving extra credit to those who babysat for these mothers for a couple of hours for free. I had a lot of fun helping the mothers out and the interaction was great for the kids. Plus, the mothers got to regain some sanity!!

If that fails, go to a gym at a recreational center. Many offer childcare while you work out. This not only gives you some time for yourself but also will relase the endorphins so you'll enjoy your time away even more.

Also, some churches in the community offer child care for "mothers day out" programs and the like. These are an awesome opportunity for you to get away but often times are only offered during the day hours. Therefore, if you're working all day, you may not be able to take advantage of this offer.

Keep your eyes open for flyers around this time of year as well. Many organizations (such as future teachers of america, youth for education, etc.) will be offering babysitting for the holiday season asking only a donation (if not completely free for the PR), and you definitely don't want to pass it up. These caretakers are usually very qualified and responsible.

If all else fails, contact childcare centers and teachers in the school district and tell them you are looking for a babysitter. When I was working at the preschool and going to high school, I was informed of such opportunities quite often. More often than not, these jobs were minimum wage babysitting jobs but high school kids will work for next to nothing. If you have $10 to spare, you could get away for at least 2 hours. (Especially if it's later and the kids are already in bed).

Good luck. =)

Answer 6

Look at it this way Is it better for your little ones to have a sane Mom? Yes it is. Try a few hours of day care a week but if money is a problem then you could try to establish a play date day. You and another Mom take turns with all the kids so one day you have 4 then the next day you have none for a set amount of hours. Use this time wisely go have lunch with a friend or go shopping or get your hair done. Mom have rights too!!!

Answer 7

For the sake of your kids and yourself, you have to get a break from them now and again. Everyone takes time for themselves, single parent or married parent. It is necessary. You sound like a devoted mother, so try not to feel guilty. Find a sitter you trust and get away for a while, even if it's just a couple of hours. Your job is the toughest in the world and if you gain a little rest it will benefit everyone. They know you love them and it's good for kids to get used to being around other people.

Answer 8

Give yourself a break! You need some adult companionship or just plain ol' time to yourself. Can you get a babysitter for a morning or afternoon once a week? If not, can you work out something with another Mom where you'll take her kids for a few hours in exchange for the same from her once a week? Also, see what other resources may be available in your community. You deserve time for YOU.

Answer 9

Maybe you could take up a hobby that the kids can join in on also. Have a scrapbooking party and invite your friends over. Let the kids do some of their own. This way you don't have the guilt of leaving them but you get to have fun also.

Answer 10

Does your community have any "mothers day out" programs? Also some gym's have daycare for up to 2 hours a day while you work out. This could let you focus on you while letting them play with other kids.