I Was Raped?

Question

I WAS RAPED A YEAR AGO AND IT STILL MESS WITH ME TODAY ONLY BECAUSE THEY DID NOT CATCH THE GUYS WHO DID IT I NEED SOME TYPE OF ADVICE MAINLY BECUZ I HAVE NOT BEEN IN A REAL SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP EVER SINCE THAT HAPPEN TO ME AND I HAVE A BOYFRIEND WHO IS WILLING TO WAIT FOR ME AS LONG AS I AM IN THIS STAGE SOME BODY ANY BOD GIVE ME SOME ADVICE PLEASE

Answer 1

your BF must be one helluva guy. your lucky to have him. something this bad takes time to heal. i would suggest counseling. your bf seems like a good guy. why not sit down and have a real talk about your situation instead of telling him to wiat. just talk to him. thats the best way to help the healing. :)

Answer 2

I believe that rape is a pretty much universal problem. Sure, there are some isolated societies where the issue is not as pressing, but you really have to search for them. I also would point out that your criteria for a rape free society is very difficult to achieve. It's human nature, sorry to say, that when there is no danger from predatory animals, humans fill that niche for themselves. Humans also have a propensity for tinkering with their own food supply...many a despot has found that starving the masses, and using the savings for weapons is an effective means of control. Humans also rarely share power and control, they take what they can get...and try to get more. If you look at it, changing human nature is about the only way to accomplish a change in the rape rates.

Answer 3

Hello, I not only understand what you've been through, but I've been there. It is one of the worst things, you have to be strong.

First, the police may have not caught this guy, but God has, and he is paying now, and will for the rest of his life. It's going to take time to get over it and move on; in the end it is going to make you a stronger person.

Keep faith in God always. For the boyfriend that you're with. You have a great man because he is willing to wait for you. And you wait until YOU are ready. Move slow, and when you're ready gradually move into sex.

As far as getting over it and moving on. Find a nice hobby, I wrote poems and it released so many built up emotions, try that, or anything that lets you release what ever it is you're feeling, weather it's angry, or sadness. You'll be fine honey, just keep your hope.

Answer 4

Your question struck me because I believe that you have great courage. The fact that you are reaching out in this way is one step toward healing. I believe that asking for help is the first step. While your experience was horiffic, it is good that you are moving on with you life and not giving those horrible men the pleasure of stealing your joy.

My first recommendation is to pray. Prayer changes things like you wouldn't believe! Prayer will keep you whether you are at your lowest or highest point. Simply talking to God and having an intimate relationship with Him will give you strength you never knew you had.

2ND. Seek counseling, through church, your doctor or service organization that specializes in working with rape cases.

National Sexual Assault Hot line
• 1.800.656.HOPE
• Free. Confidential. 24/7.

Next, You have the power and control to change your destiny. Think of yourself as a warrior not a victim. So many have had the same experience and did not come through it. Use your experience to gain strength and courage so that you can educate others. There is healing in helping others.

Lastly, It is wonderful that your boyfriend is willing to wait for you. That is a good sign that he is a good man. However, please be careful. It is so easy to allow ourselves to fall into an abusive relationship when our partner knows our vulnerabilities. Particularly in this case. He is willing to wait for you... yes. But make sure you are not settling. When he speaks to you is it with respect? Are his actions the same as his words? Sometimes we overlook things because our partner is doing one thing right but we are being disrespected and brought down another way. As long as he is not verbally, mentally or physically abusive that is great. If you can wait and he can wait... reserve sex until marriage. Or at least until you have worked out your issues that were brought on by the horrific rape.

Suga, I know that you will come out of this. You are a child of God and He does not give you more than you can bare. It is my sincere hope that you find peace and can move on through your life past this experience. Remember this is just one experience and does not determine or define the life that you lead. Turn a negative into a positive. God Bless you with Love and Happiness.

Answer 5

I think it will always mess with you. I have been there too and feel like in a way I am still going through it. Yes, it has done something to me, but I have to say "wait" that is over and I must try to do better. It is hard. Does it really matter if they caught the guys or not? It still happened. It is good your have a boyfriend that is caring and understanding, that is a big plus. Just take your time, get some counseling, read some books and yes, continue to pray. Hey, and thanks for responding to my question, it was like you slapped my face with your words. You sound like a strong and sane individual. I know you will get over this. My prayers are with you.