how to descipline my child?

Question

I have an 18 months old girl who is starting to have a strong will and disobey me. I need to know what are the best ways to descipline her.

Answer 1

OK, first of all, you should never hit a child, not even a "light slap on the cheek"! The only thing this will teach your daughter is to use violence to get her own way. Secondly, an 18 month old is starting to form her own personality and assert her own independence. She's testing you to make sure you'll still be there for her while she goes out to explore her world. This stage of childhood is not easy for you as a parent, I know from personal experience. It takes time and patience. The only thing you can do is to be firm but kind with her when she's misbehaving, and make sure to praise her when she does something right. A time-out is a good way to discipline her. The standard rule is 1 minute for each year of age, so your daughter would have to sit for 90 seconds, followed by a hug from you. And pick your battles, otherwise every situation will turn into a battle. Only insist on things that are really important to you and remember she's still very young. If it's not a big deal, let her have her own way with some small decisions, like what should we have for lunch? This will make her feel more in control of her own life, and when you really need her to behave, she might be more willing to cooperate. You may also have to compromise on your plans and schedules. One example I can give you is that for a period of time when my youngest was about your daughter's age, grocery shopping had turned into such a nightmare that I simply left him home with his dad and went shopping in the evenings. Good luck and enjoy her while she's small. Believe me they grow up really fast. Mine are 12 and 18, and those toddler days still seem like yesterday to me.

Answer 2

My method is redirection. For example, if your daughter kicks another child, have her apologize (even though at 18 months, they're not exactly sure what that means yet.) and then redirect her toward something that she CAN kick, like a ball. I'm a Pre-K teacher and my rule of thumb is "Three strikes and you're out."

Most people use time-out, which I do as well, but I don't follow that "one minute for every year of your child's life." thing. I have the child go to a separate part of the room and count to ten. Tell the child what he or she has done wrong. Don't yell -- just speak firmly.

If your daughter is not picking up her toys, ask her nicely once. If she says no or ignores you, ask one more time, and mention to her that she'll sit in time out if she doesn't listen. By the third time of disobeying you, stick her in time out. When that's over, make sure she picks up her toys, don't let her get away with it.

Good luck. I know toddlers are tough... I've got 15 in my class!

Answer 3

Well. I wouldn't cuss at my child. Do not talk down to her either. When she does not listen then you can use time out, but at her age she probably will not sit there long at all. I do think spanking is ok. NOT BEATING. popping her on he diaper or hand but not hard. try raising your voice a little no yelling. Also try taking her favorite toys away for long than just a few min. Continue taking them away if she still doesn't listen. You may have a collection of toys, but hold them for at least a day. Also try putting her in bed and if she starts crying then leave her be until she stops. Then talk to her in a clam voice and explain that she was wrong and if she does it again she will be punished again. Find the method of discipline that gets to her and stick with it. If she does something and gets in trouble, and does it again don't just let it go she will become confused and not know what is right and what is wrong.

Answer 4

I doubt you'll get a complete answer here, but you have to actively train your child. Praise good behavior, condemn bad behavior, be consistent.

I learned early on that kids have different brains from us, they can't think like we do, they don't have patience, they don't have the same kind of ability to put with stuff they don't like.

One of the best ways I found to have well-behaved children was not to push them beyond their limits. They need rest, food, play, etc.

I respected their limits, and they rewarded me with trust that helped carry them through those situations that were a little more than they wanted to deal with it. They learned that I was doing the best I could for them and that things would be better soon.

Never threaten to do something you're not prepared to do immediately. Explain what they're doing wrong, why it's not good for you or the child, and that if it continues, X will happen. If it continues, do X.

Hitting doesn't have to enter into, and if it does, it should be executed in a mild and disciplined manner - more to embarrass than hurt, and ideally will never happen. We all get frustrated at times, but if you're angry, you've already lost the battle. In my experience, punishments that have worked are things like enforced boredom or inactivity or embarrassment.

You have to be willing to put up with a certain amount of pain yourself to work this out. It takes discipline, and sometimes more time than you think you have. It may be inconvenient. But time spent early-on will save you much time and grief later on and give you a better long-term relationship with your daughter.

Answer 5

Take her by the hands, look her in the eye and say no. She'll probably cry, but let her, she will stop. The only time I ever spanked(I mean just a slap on the hand) was when she did something that was dangerous. Getting near electical outlets. My oldest, I never had to worry. My second, she seems facinated with plugs. Now I just have to say their name and they know to stop. Start now, you won't regret it.

Answer 6

don't slap your kid on the cheek. come on, seriously.

it's good, from the very beginning, to establish boundaries with your child. she's past old enough now that she can communicate what she wants and needs without crying or screaming. she needs a concrete and predictable set of rules. one she can rely on. maybe a disciplinary course of action. like...she gets one warning. the second time you have to tell her, she earns some consequences. it's important for children to learn that actions have consequences, not only for behavior now but for later too. a clear and predictable set of repercussions for her actions will help her to think about things BEFORE she does them, if she knows what to expect. kids don't automatically understand this concept of action and consequence. it must be taught. and it will probably take some doing. it's an ongoing process. kids will always test the waters, you know? be consistent and firm, yet loving and don't give up.

Answer 7

nanno, A child no matter what age always has a defiance mood they go through. When your daughter defies you give her a time out, a chair in the corner, no tv, no special snack, take something she enjoys away, if there is'nt anything then start something she'll like and when she's unruly take it, only use 1 word at a time like, "NO", "STOP", don't yell no matter how upset you get it makes it worse.

Answer 8

Make her sit in a chair, stand in a corner, take away her toys, there are many ways to discipline a child.
Don't resort to violence or belittling, these cause more harm than good.

Answer 9

Ok, I put my sister (I always babysit) in a naughty spot, you see you pick a place where you can see your daughter, then you make her sit there for 1 minute since she is 1 years old, If she gets up just tell her what she did wrong and make her sit another minute!! Trust me it works!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 10

Start with taking a parenting class.