Even if you are a non-believer, do you think this is rude?

Question

When we say grace at meals, and my father is there, he will eat and make jokes during grace. He does believe in God. But, that's it.
Do you think he should respect us, and our home to keep his mouth quiet? Should I say something to him? It makes a bad example for my 1, 2 and 6 year old.

Edit: It is at my home. On Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas. We say grace every meal, but my father is only there on those special occasions.

Answer 1

absolutely, respect, especially within the home setting is important. And out of principal alone, he should show respect out of being a good example for the Children.

If it's ok not to respect what someone is doing, then what's going to tell them they should have respect for anything else people do?

Answer 2

If it is your own home, then you make the rules and traditions, and he should respect them.

If you are in his home, he makes the rules and traditions and you should respect them.

That doesn't mean you can't talk about it, though. He's your Dad. Just tell him that it bothers you and try to find a compromise when you are in his home.

Perhaps you and your children can pray together before you sit down at the table. Or, perhaps he doesn't realize how it bothers you and he'll stop disrupting the prayer.

Edit - In your own home, I would sit him down, just you and him, and explain that the house rules are that everyone in the house remains silent for the few moments when you pray before dinner. If he doesn't want to participate, that's fine. He can either just sit there or he can come to the table after the prayer is over.

Answer 3

Tell him before dinner, and preferably not in front of everyone, that you would like for him to respect your wishes and not eat and talk during grace. If he cannot give you that one simple courtesy, maybe eat before he comes or after he leaves. I am not the best at this, so you may want to ask an advice columnist, though. I'm just saying what I would do.

Answer 4

Yes, it is. Respect for all is important, and it would be bad manners to do that during grace if that's what your particular belief entails. I tend to be more of a secularist, but I most assuredly respect that others say grace before meals and may very well join them.

Answer 5

Yes, very rude. Could you call everyone to the table for grace (perhaps to hold hands standing around the table) first and tell your father (and anyone else who doesn't want to participate in grace) that you'll call for them when you're finished? That way you could peacefully say grace with your children yet everyone could sit down to dinner at the same time.

Answer 6

You could say it is rude. When I am with my mother-in-law who is a staunch catholic, and she starts saying grace, I am sort of embarrassed but I don't say anything and I never would laugh or so. Surely he should respect you too, in your home. On the other hand, on his own turf you should respect him and his ways all the same. Anyway, your children should know that there are religious people and non-religious people and both is okay.

Answer 7

If your father is old, maybe he can't hear you saying grace. Maybe he thinks grace was already said and is over. Maybe he thinks everyone is being too quiet, because he can't hear anyone, so he makes jokes to get people talking.

Talk to him and find out if he intentionally interrupts grace. If he does, find out why. If he doesn't, arrange some kind of signal with him, to let him know when it's over.

Answer 8

Maybe the example of respect by you for your father is a much greater example for your children than putting your father "in his place". We had the exact same thing with my father-in-law when our children were little, and they were smarter than we gave them credit for. They saw it exactly for what it was.
Ephesians 6:2 "HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER (which is the first commandment with a promise), 3 SO THAT IT MAY BE WELL WITH YOU, AND THAT YOU MAY LIVE LONG ON THE EARTH."

Answer 9

I am a Christian, but have been in many different situations in various cultures and religious faiths.

I think it is always important to respect the beliefs of others and provide that courtesy, even if it is something you don't personally believe.

Why don't you just take a minute and explain to him how this makes you feel, and see how he responds? Frequently, people don't even understand that their behavior is offensive until it is pointed out.

Answer 10

That is very disrespectful you should definitely say something to him. Tell him to either keep quiet or leave the room and someone can go get him when your finished saying grace.