He wants me to have his baby. What do I do???

Question

The guy I'm with sees our future plans As we getting married & haveing kids till we have a boy. I already have 4 kids. I would have one more but no more after that because I have to have c-sections I told him whats wrong w/ getting a serogant mother. A serogant mother takes me eggs & his sperm right? So by blood & looks that would be our baby? I need some answers I also don't know how many c-sections you can have safely?

Answer 1

well, don't go by what any one says here about c sections. talk to your doctor. and if your hesitant on his answer, go get a second opinion from a second doctor. as for wanting a baby, if you feel it to have another there will be a way. be honest about it though. don't have one just cause he wants one. you gotta want it to. its only fair to be honest about it for the sake of the child first of and for his as well. if you don't want a baby tell him. he has the right then to choose if he wants to be with you still and forgo having his own children or being with a woman who will have a child with him. you made no mention to how long you were together with him and ages. opinions of the children you do have. theres so much to consider here. thats my opinion anyways.

Answer 2

Physicians recommend no more than three c sections; each time you are cut that area weakens. After so many, the area can rupture during a pregnancy causing a life threatening situation for the mother and baby. Also, there is a build up of scar tissue which can cause problems for the mother later.
Another question I would ask myself is, can we financially afford another child? Can you afford, or are you saving for their college education? You already have four, which must be quite costly! One or both of you need to make a lot of money just to maintain a household of 4/5 children.
Another issue, to me, would be waiting until I was married until I had another child. There is no way I would have a child without having a husband first. An old time saying is "putting the horse before the cart".

Answer 3

NO!! Dont! You dont need more. I had the same sort of issue with a guy who I can now safely call an X. I have had two, and c-sections and a tubal done. I told him when we met that I was done with having kids, and that was something he had to accept, because I wouldnt change. That was fine then. After 2 years, he started wanting kids of his own. I couldnt help him, i wasnt going to help him. I started considering it, and then one day woke up thinking, NO!! My body and my kids are more important than what he wants. I have a responsibility to be the healthiest mother I can to my current children, and being pregnant is not doing that! That reposibility far outweighs his sudden desire to pro-create! He had the opportunity to back out in the beginning, knowing the truth, and he didnt. It was very unfair! So, just be careful! To me, more kids is a "deal breaker" issue. Something that is set in stone and is non-negotiable. Keep your body healthy, take care of your kids. The last thing you need is another child! You have plenty, and although I dont doubt you can take care of them all, and love them, your responsibility is to them, and not his selfish needs!

Answer 4

the recommended amount of c-sections you should have is 3 so you've already had more then enough although my aunt had 7 but there was complications. as for the baby thing, you don't seem too pleased about the prospect of another baby? ask yourself why? also i would say that if this man wants children with you, isn't being a father to your kids enough for time being?
it doesn't seem to me that your close enough to have a baby otherwise you would have agreed straight away.
my advice is to sit him down and explain that a baby would be nice but your enjoying being with him at the moment and and are already rushed of feet, maybe in a few years and after you've gotten to know each other better you can discuss it.

Answer 5

Dump his butt, all he wants is that son.

Seriously: If he cared for you as YOU, rather than as a means to get a son, wouldn't he *care* that you a.) already have 4 kids, and b.) cannot have kids easily?

Honestly, what do you think life with him would be like if you failed to produce that son? (Who is he, anyway, Henry VIII? Why does he "need" a son so bad?)

Surrogate mothers sometimes use the "real" mother's eggs, though I think I've heard of cases where they use their own. (ie: Where the "real" mom's eggs aren't viable, the "real" mom has no ovaries, etc.) It's an expensive process not covered by insurance, and there are no guarentees. And finding a woman to do it is not easy. (Few women are willing to be pregnant for nine months and not come away with a baby.)

Far better, sweetie, for you to find a man who'll love you for YOU, not just as his personal brood-mare, and love the children you already have.

But you won't find THAT man as long as you're with THIS loser.

Answer 6

You didn't say anything about YOUR plans. Sounds like you don't see things the way he does. And if you are going to have a family together, you to be on the same path.

Ask your doctor about how many c-sections you can have. I wouldn't trust anyone on the internet about a health risk like that.

I understand men wanting to have a boy, but he really sounds selfish. I am pregnant right now, and my husband is the last to carry on his last name. He would really like to have a boy, but wouldn't push me to have kids until we got a boy. Being pregnant is hard enough with out the stress of what the sex of the child will be.

Answer 7

I just had my first baby 3 months ago and had to have a c-section b/c of he was really big. My ob/gyn told me 3 is max. number of c-sections. Anymore after that and your muscles and skin may become weak from all the cutting and scar tissue and could cause more sever problems down the road.

Answer 8

You are better off without this guy. Hold out for someone that will love you and your children. He sounds selfish and irresponsible. Also, surrogate mothers are expensive. Your looking at spending at least $10,000 PLUS medical expenses. If you have that kind of money to spend, spend it on the kids you already have.

Answer 9

Wait...you have four kids and you want to keep having more until you have a boy? I'm sorry, but that is one of the most ridiculous reasons to keep brings children into the world that i have ever heard. Do you want this too? or just this guy? Plus, it doesn't sound like it's very serious. You don't even call him your boyfriend, just this guy you're with.
Please stop procreating...it sounds like you have your hands full now.

Answer 10

it is a pity and a difficult situation. every man or woman wants their own children as on them natural love flows. but u both have to compromise the life if u both want to live together. Four children are more than enough but your culture allows different offsprings from different spouses. in your culture, u can not say that the entire family belongs to you. U HAVE TO BEAR THE CONSEQUENCES OF THE CULTURE. NO WAY...