My ex and I were young lovers and were together for 3 years. We were each other first loves. We had too much personal insecurities back then and it didn't work up. He broke up with me. I was so hurt and it took a while to recover. I still care for him. I wonder what it would be like if we get back together after 2 years now. We've been friends although most of the time I avoid him. I've been kinda traumatized by the past and I'm scared to be close to him. Often I pray that he will be happy and successful someday. Does it mean I still love him? But I'm scared to risk again with him.
2006-12-22 00:53:22 · 28 answers · asked by terra 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It doesn't mean you are still in love with him. It just means that you care about him. Think about it...you were together for 3 years. You can't just stop caring for someone you spent that much time with.
Also, it's natural for you to think about being back together with him. That's what happens when relationships end. Again, that doesn't mean you still love him. It might just be that you've never known anyone else more and that he's all you can think about when it comes to relationships. Your reaction is purely natural, but it doesn't mean that you are still in love with him.
If you are scared to get back with him, that could be a good sign that you don't need to be together.
Good luck!
2006-12-22 02:40:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey, I know how you feel. I was engaged to someone for about 3 years and we finally parted ways. We don't talk much, but occasionally I do pray he finds someone to make him happy and that he'll be successful one day. However, I mostly think these thoughts when I don't have anyone in my life occupying my time. So then I believe I'm only thinking this because I'm alone and just hoping there will be some kind of magic reunion between us. We've tried to get back together off and on a few times after our initial break up, it starts out great at first but shortly after the same problems that broke us apart resurface.
The hard part about being young lovers is that both of you change so drastically in certain years of your life, you can't predict what you're going to be doing in a few years. For example, if both of you were brought together by the same interests, for example sports, you may honestly grow out of sports and discover new parts of yourself. It's hard to be with someone else until your personality and life goals become more consistant.
In conclusion, I don't believe you're still in love with him, you're just a caring person who doesn't wish ill on people just because things didn't work out. You may just be longing for the past when things were working when it may never be that way again.
But good luck!
2006-12-22 09:00:07 · answer #2 · answered by Jeanelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No and Yes. You can still love him obviously he was an importantpart of your life. but it does not mean you are still "In love" with him. You just a caring person and there is nothing wrong with that. It's nice that you still wish him well. And if by chance you two are meant tobe together then it will happen when the time is right. Maybe you just needed time apart to do other things. Stop avoiding him, see what happens.
2006-12-22 09:35:06 · answer #3 · answered by nikkid6910705 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's no way to eraze those good 3 years you've both spent together. So, it's very normal for both of you to care for each other. The only advice I have for you is that, you're very much likely to come together again, but you've got to learn from your past mistakes and chart a new and better way forward. But let him prove it to you that he still wants you back and he's sorry for all that happened in the past. Cheers!
2006-12-22 09:01:29 · answer #4 · answered by mykemejeje 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It means you are a mature woman who can look past the pain to see a wonderful man that deserves a good life. Doesn't mean you should get back together, especially if you are avoiding him. Just be proud you are not a bitter woman who wants her ex to suffer. What a sad way to live that would be!
2006-12-22 08:58:23 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you see i understand, i was 15 when i met my first love we where together for 4 and a half years, and it was a rocky ride. i havent seen him in 10 months. i also hope hes doing better and made a life for himself. i dont love him at all but i do care enough to hope hes ok.
some times it would be best to leave child hood love in the past, and thats all to it, thats why they call it young love my dear.
im not saying that you still love him maybe you do, but i know you still care and its ok to have a heart, some ppl dont have one anymore, and when you see him again dont shy away, just tell him how youve been and hows he been theres no need to dwell on it when your ready to talk then you know what to say then. but just remember,childhood love should stay in the past thats why we have pasts and we learn from them, your next relationship will be that much more
good luck
2006-12-22 09:14:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because you want someone to be sucessful dosen't mean you love the person. It's really hard to just wish bad things for people and blah blah blah. I think that if you want him to do secessful that means your fully over him and if you still want there to be something between you to, it's never to late. When your young you don't know what your doing, but if now you have a idea of what you want and how you want things to be, and he just happends to be doing them all right, then I don't think there is a problem trying. Never know what could happen, but all I know is that you have to live for the moment.
2006-12-22 09:00:18 · answer #7 · answered by Courtney W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, but getting over your ex is not easy, and you will never get over your first love, but it seems to get easy as the time passes.and just because you want him to be happy and that does not mean you love him still. you care what happens to him,and thats the best way. than to hate and despise him for a relationship that didn't work out. maybe you can just be friends, and see where that leads you. if it doesn't lead you back to each other. just be happy that you two are friends.
2006-12-22 09:01:30 · answer #8 · answered by misty blue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will have to face both him and your fears, otherwise you will never really heal your heart. I think it's normal to have still have feelings for him and even to love him. but is your love based on your desires or is it a genuine unconditional love ? you have to be totally honest with yourself before talking with him. Be sure though the experience is a growing one and you will love again, better and better each time. but be honest with yourself and your chosen one. Talk about your feelings and even though the answers may hurt they wll help you heal and become whole again. don't be afraid of your solitude get to know it but don't shut yourself away. I beleive we are here to have fun and to learn, if you can do both at the same time .....hey you've got it off pat.. Good Luck
2006-12-22 09:12:36 · answer #9 · answered by yp_john_montreal 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It means you are a kind person for wishing him the best and not holding any resentment. While you may not still be in love with him, it does sound like you still love him and hold him dear to you. Which is okay. But it does sound like you've got feelings.
Learn from your mistakes, though!
Merry Christmas!
2006-12-22 08:57:45 · answer #10 · answered by Mimi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋