How could a dad do that to a child? Moved to Arizona in April, didn't tell us. Before that he wouldn't call our son or see him, for a whole year. This past November I let him call his Dad, just before thanksgiving. Haven't heard from the jerk since, & yesterday he sent our son a package (viedo games) for Christmas. Do I give it to my son? My sons b-day is on Christmas too. Do I let my son talk to his dad again (if he does call)? Or just leave it the way things are now?
2006-12-21 22:59:16 · 14 answers · asked by pinky 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Let him play his little relocating game until his child support is so in arrears he can't pay it, THEN call the authorities, file papers, and his a$$ will go to jail, directly to jail, no pass go, no collect $200.
And a merry Christmas to HIM, when that day comes.
Just DO IT!
2006-12-21 23:02:00 · answer #1 · answered by Johnny Corndrink 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I completely understand your anger. It has to be frustrating for both of you.
I would give the gifts to my son. He probably wonders what is wrong with him that his Dad doesn't want to be a part of his life. Just tell him, your Dad sent this and wanted you to have it. That is all that needs to be said. The presents belong to him and you are hurting your son by getting 'back' at his Father if you don't give them to him. Don't give them to your son for his Father, do it for your CHILD. He is all that matters.
If he calls ask your son if he wants to talk to him. If he doesn't then don't push the issue. If he does then let him. Do this not for the father but for your CHILD.
At least your child will know that he is not completely forgotten. It's hard I know. In time your son will learn how his Father is on his own. Make sure he knows that it is not something that is wrong with him. Kids tend to internalize these things, I think boys are more likely to do this.
My Father is kind of the same way. And our oldest just recently said he is done with his Grandfather. It is HIS decision it's better than he came to this on his own than if he thought I had influenced him in some way.
If your son finds out down the road (and he will maybe not now or in the next ten years but he will someday, as he becomes older and you are no longer in control of his relationship with his Father) you denied him what few presents his Dad did send and communication he will turn his anger towards his Father towards you. You don't want to that to happen. After all the man isn't worth taking a chance jeapordizing the relationship you have with your son in the future.
Take the man to court, that is a seperate issue. Ensure he pays child support. That is between you and the Father. Don't make to much of an issue of it to your son.
I wish you all the best!
2006-12-22 08:18:33 · answer #2 · answered by Wicked Good 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I grew up without my father but i NEVER got to see him or speak to him. He also never sent any Birthday or Christmas presents and if he did i would feel that a part of him still cared for me. I know your pissed right now for him acting the way he has but taking it out on your little boy is not the way to handle it. Giving the gifts to your son will help him to feel like his father hasn't totally forgotten about him. If he calls the best thing to do is let him speak to your son and then you tell him what's up and that if he wants to be part of your son's life he has to be a father!
Personally I've been through this and the worst thing is not how upset you are but how your child will feel as he grows up knowing his father was never there for him. At least he'll have something he can remember about his father from childhood, because i never did and that hurts more than anything!!
2006-12-22 07:45:58 · answer #3 · answered by Curious J. 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say give it to your son as if in later years he finds out about the package he will resent you for it. I don't have a high opinion of your ex-husband in treating his child in this manner but not everyone was cut from the mold of a good parent. I say just reassure your son that his dad loves him but that he has problems that he is just best not to be mixed in and assure him that you will do all you can to be a good mom and also solicit men in the family to spent time with your son to fill in from where the dirt bag leaves off. Get him involved in youth activities at a local church and give him some constructive things to do that will help divert his attention from the loss he suffers to things that will help him develop.
2006-12-22 10:33:51 · answer #4 · answered by Georgia Preacher 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Am afraid your issue is contradicting, first you say your sons dad moved to Arizona in April, assuming this year, then you say before that he wouldn't call your son or see him for a whole year. It seems to me you have not been co-hibiting with your son's dad, and if thats the case, my dear, life should go on with or without you son's dad. If jerk gives his son any present thats no big deal he has the right and its your sons right too to talk to his dad. You not being with jerk should not be the reason why he cant see or give what he wants to his son, remember he is his son too, it is important to remember this boy has a life with or without you being with his dad, and it is up to you to see that happens.
2006-12-22 07:21:39 · answer #5 · answered by afmora 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Guys like this make me sick because they are part-time dads! My daughter went through the same thing you are going through her EX is a jerk!!! I would just wait and see if his (so called dad) calls him first .Your son will figure it out on his own how his father is!! My grand-kids hear from their father once a year and they are 10&8 and now when he gets on the phone they tell him that he has liedto them so many times that they do not believe anything he tells them!GOOD LUCK&MERRY XMAS!!!!!!!!
2006-12-22 07:56:46 · answer #6 · answered by linda bug 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a hard question to answer but my nephews father was about the same caliber as your husband.
All I have to say is its not right that folks abandon their children because children cant help what their parents do and 99.9% of the time the children catch the short end of the stick.
2006-12-22 07:08:01 · answer #7 · answered by ke5hbd 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give him the package. As cruddy as his dad is, its the only one he has. That package will mean something to him. Hopefully he'll grow up to be a much better man for his kids. Just don't deny him that package. If he finds out later, it will hurt him.
2006-12-22 07:04:52 · answer #8 · answered by Velken 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If I were in your situation, I would not welcome anymore contact with his father. Your child does not need all this drama. As for the gift, say it is from Santa. Leave it at that.
Hug your boy & give him lots of love , & a stable home environment.
Happy Holidays to You!!
2006-12-22 08:47:40 · answer #9 · answered by Daiquiri Dream 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes give him the pressy and if you son wants to talk to him let him you mustn't do anything to come in-between them his dad will do that himself just support your son in his choices.
2006-12-22 07:05:08 · answer #10 · answered by patrick w 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋