How can you tell if you are suffering most from a wounded ego or the pain of a broken heart?

Question

This girl I met a year ago, we hit it off great, after a few months we started making plans, she made more room in her life for me and for months things okay. I went away on vacation for a month, visiting family, friends and what not that I haven't seen in a while. She stayed back in California, and things drastically changed. I can't really say who I was actually talking to at times, she seemed to be 3-4 different people, and I suspected she was cheating on me at that point. I couldn't ask her what she did tonight, or how was your day, sometimes she was up all night like she was on something, always seemed to be something going on in the background, one time she asked me if I she needed any cosmetic work done on her crotch, errratic behavior, weird new words phrases, you name it, I heard it the whole time I was gone. Found out she had cheated on me and while I feel the whole ego thing, what do they got, I loved her and feel all screwed up. Is it love or ego, is there a cure?

the thing is, I have to go back over a lot of times where i sensed something was wrong but gave into trusting her more, or the times she showered whatever she acquired away when she came home in the evenings before she would hang with me at night...that hurts because she is lying to you, and breaking my heart because you did let those gut feelings go. When I think about cheating, it's not the sex or the other guy that hurts so much, it's the idea that my -ex- talked so much bs, set this or that up at my expense, took whatever she could that I was willing to give and gave me just enough words or encouragement to snuff out suspicions. I mean, that is plain evil and that violation on it's own breaks my heart. She is screwed up, maybe in love with the pp, but jesus why put me through hell, and it couldn't have been easy on her hearing or seeing my face go gaunt with suspicion....being right about her doesn't put a dent into how I feel right now, it hurts like hell..I feel so stupid

Answer 1

Hey, a wounded ego IS a broken heart. Does it matter? You're hurting when you shouldn't be. The cure is to forget her and be happy with yourself. Then, you can begin to look for a woman who's worth your time. Good luck!

Answer 2

Sorry to hear about this, bud. It sounds like she was really close to you, so yes, it could have been love. But at this point the important question is what to do next.

Ask yourself, did she just go through a really difficult period in her life that she didn't know how to handle and wishes she could take back because she didn't want to hurt you? Or did she cheat on you just because you weren't there and her immediate happiness is more important to her than your guys' relationship.

Depending on which one of these statements is true, you'll know whether to try to salvage the relationship, or to realize that you fell for the wrong person and to move on.

Good luck.

Answer 3

A lot of it is ego, we all suffer from it, your better off well away from her. Go out and start enjoying yourself, just remember your in the same boat as lots of men and lots of women so start cracking on with life again and forget her.

Answer 4

I think its a bit of both . And it will go in time .. Just try not to think about much and think that what goes around it turns around .. Its just an other life lesson, don't try to poison u r heart with it , but learn from it.

Answer 5

to me it sounds kind of like wounded ego. and the cure would be to go out there and see what else is out there. i know what ur goin thru and the only thing that i found that helped me was goin out and findin someone new

Answer 6

i think ur ego wudnt be wounded if u didn love her..so its a bit of both..hope u can 4get her soon..bye4now..c..

Answer 7

take a walk in my shoes...I know the feeling well