My 76 yr. old dadhas rectal cancer,diagnosed Aug/2006. Trouble is that we have been super close ever since I can remember, and I always considered him to be my true soul mate. I also have a 46 yr. old brother who is a recovering alcoholic. My father sends about $300/month down to my niece who lives in Uruguay; my bro has been unable to work for quite some time due to his depresssion and alcoholism. My father met my brother's daughter just 1 yr. ago at 16.. She saw only the VERY BEST SIDEof my dad, SOON dad sent regular support for her education. My dad is TOTALLY ESTRANGED from my brother cuz of MANY YEARS AGO. My dad now refuses to have. anything to do w/ brother, but pays for his daughter to visit us in US.
The other night my dad got extremely angry with me in a public place when subject of my bro he brought up.Now he is saying horrible stuff to my son, saying that just cuz I let bro visit @ xmas, his support for his daughter may stop, etc, and I don't even feel I can talk
2006-12-21 22:33:36 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your dad is in an extremely painful state emotionally and physically due to his illness. Medications for his cancer can and will cause mood swings. He may feel he has not long left on this earth and no time for what he considers "niceties". Talk to him and tell him how much you love him and that you are trying very hard to understand what he may be going through right now. Then softly tell him you are hurt because he seems to be taking out his frustrations on you. Love doesn't stop or diminish because of distance brought on by pain and anxiety; it most always is a person's way of coping with the frustrations of illness. Be patient and explain to your son after talking to your dad.
2006-12-21 22:42:03 · answer #1 · answered by Decoy Duck 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The cancer your father is living with day to day is a difficult one to deal with and even the strongest pain killers don't take away the pain.
It's not a pleasant experience to have this condition and can for the most part cause one to become extremely harsh in thier temperament.
Don't talk about the subject of your brother and or the support being provided to the daughter with your father. Above all else avoid conversation about your brother. Don't make any comment just listen.
Given your fathers advanced age and this cancer he won't be around much longer. Make the best of this situation and try to have pleasant conversations with your dad.
Will pray for you and wish you the very best
2006-12-21 22:52:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your dad is dying, but all you write about is your own feelings. You knew good and well that he could not stand your brother but you keep introducing your brother into the conversation. Respect your father and leave your brother out of it. After all, you father has been able to see past his crappy son and treat his granddaughter well. He is not blind.
As for your father being your soul mate, that is too close a relationship. Sounds like your dad is trying to put some more appropriate limits on you and you don't like it.
If your dad is your soul mate, what is the guy who you had your son with? My guess is that he is not around as he did not feel like competing with daddy.
Don't put this mess on your dad. You are not behaving very well.
2006-12-21 23:47:45 · answer #3 · answered by adamsjrcn 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Obviously a touchy subject with him. One thing you can point out is that this YOUR relationship with YOUR brother."Dad" has nothing to do with that. What kind of relationship dad has with his son is entirely up to him. The other thing to consider is this, is there a chance that his cancer has spread? Maybe to his brain?
2006-12-21 22:42:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're father is going through some TOUGH times. Don't expect him to be rational.
And you should be keeping in constant communication with your son. You don't want him to get the wrong ideas about who his grandfather is, who you are, or what is means to face disease and/or death.
2006-12-21 22:37:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should talk to his doctor this could be dementia or another health problem. He is under a lot of stress.
2006-12-21 22:48:43 · answer #6 · answered by jennie r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Still we must put our faith in God and trust him to do the right thing....God bless and guide you and your dad too .Amen!Have a Merry Christmas!
2006-12-21 22:38:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋