He was rotten and abusive. He's a coworker of my parents' though and they say he's changed. Should I be friends with him? He asked me to just be friends because he doesn't want to lose me that way too. I know it's something I should figure out myself. Just looking for a few tossed out ideas. He hurt me badly but he had issues with himself and he's supposedly not like that now. I hate to see someone hurt and I don't like to make anyone feel badly. What do you think?
2006-12-21 19:27:18 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
lizzomail, I don't understand why you perceive me as being "brainwashed" I just know that he's lonely and doesn't have many friends where he lives now.
2006-12-21 19:33:51 · update #1
You said, "I hate to see someone hurt"
But you also said this, "He hurt me badly".
Now put 2 and 2 together and get 4.
If you don't like to see someone get hurt, you shouldn't like to see yourself get hurt. Many abusers will use any ruse to get close enough to you to "get even". If you left him, you bruised his ego, and this type doesn't like that at all. Their whole thing is CONTROL. He only wants to get close again to gain control of you again for revenge. He'll take it slow, engage your affections, then, after you and everybody else are fooled, BANG! Don't chance it!!!
2006-12-21 19:36:58 · answer #1 · answered by musemessmer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, let's get this straight. HE hurt YOU, but now all of a sudden it's YOU hurting HIM by refusing to have an abusive idiot in your life. Sheesh, you've been brainwashed good, girl.
2006-12-22 03:31:23 · answer #2 · answered by Liz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can be friendly without being friends. Abusers never really change, they just get better at fooling people.
2006-12-22 03:30:16 · answer #3 · answered by Cat Loves Her Sabres 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not really comfortable, don't. It is better to see someone hurt than hurting yourself after knowing the person deeply. Yet, it's your choice, so I give my best for you.
2006-12-22 03:32:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure if you want to be friends, but be careful remember how he hurt you in the past.
Good~Luck.
2006-12-22 03:30:27 · answer #5 · answered by ~*~Tessa~*~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be very carefull with this one, make sure he is aware of what he did and how that makes you feel.
time is the key here, make sure he knows he must earn your trust again and that will take time.
do not get drunk near this person.
2006-12-22 03:32:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be friendly, but don't be too trusting
2006-12-22 03:31:47 · answer #7 · answered by supernatural_luver 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stay away from this loser.
2006-12-22 03:34:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋