am i hurting a guy that i know who likes me if i keep on talking to him???

Question

i have a friend and since from the start he knows that i have a bf but then he fell inlove with me but i didnt YET!!! i love my bf so much but i dont wanna loose my friend... he's special to me... but sometimes i feel guilty when he feels all sad because of me.. should i just let him go???

Answer 1

Yes, you are definitely hurting him by keeping the relationship alive. For him, you are the one and only person he wants to spend the rest of his life, but since that is not the case with you, the best way for you would be to say goodbye to him. Though he may feel depressed initially, he will become a more emotionally stronger person as time passes.

Answer 2

Well, you're probably going to hurt him no matter what you do. I don't know if it's your talking to him that hurts him so much or just the fact that he can't have you. You know, after a lifetime of watching movies where men win women over by being persistent, he might think that he has a real chance with you. And girls have this idea "oh, I'll just tell him that we should just be friends" or "I'm not ready for a relationship right now" or something like that. That's about the worst thing you can do -- you should tell him from the start that you do not want to date him. That will probably crush him, but it's better to be suddenly crushed than gradually crushed, right? It will save him a lot of pain in the long run.

I think you should keep talking to him. If he mentions that he wants to date you again, you need to tell him that you don't want to date him. Tell him that unless a man is a celebrity, he will get rejected about 90% of the time and that he needs to be strong to keep up the search. And tell him that usually girls don't come right out and tell guys that they aren't interested like that, but you did because you actually care about him and don't want to see him hurt anymore. Tell him the signs of rejection he should look out for, like the mentioning of a good relationship with a bf, the "just friends/like a brother" nonsense, etc. He needs someone to point him in the right direction. I wish I could have a talk with him for a while, but that's impossible.

After all that, maybe you could try to hook him up with one of your friends. If he really isn't all that undesirable, you can tell your friends that the guy liked you and you feel bad for him, and he's such a great guy, nice looking too, etc. MAYBE they will give him a chance. Good luck!

Answer 3

If he still wants to be your friend then be as good of a friend to him as you can but let him know that you love your boyfriend. I was in the same situation recently and I ended up losing my friendship with my friend because I felt sorry for him. Trust me you will regret losing the friendship and it will only make your friend feel worse about losing you as a friend. I also believe that he would feel bad with you feeling guilty and sorry for him. His feelings will most likely fade over time and if they don't , who knows what might happen in the future. Maybe you will eventually start to have feelings for him too and then keeping the friendship would have been worthwhile.

Answer 4

don't play with him. let him know how much your bf means to you and how much you love him. be sure he knows that your relationship is just friends. but of course he probably wants to be more than just your friend so he will be sad about it no matter what. but keeping a friend is better than loosing one. Just keep in mind and ask yourself are you just friends with him?

Answer 5

I have a friend like that, I had to have a good talk to him as he was like a little lost puppy following me around. we haven`t fallen out and still chat occasionally, but don`t go out of our way to meet anymore.
You must have a talk to the guy, tell him that you want to stay friends and only friends, and if he can`t handle that, then he has to go. You need to get on with your life and don`t feel guilty,

Answer 6

For "Tenacious le grande" Just so you know, I love this girl ok?! How dare you say i was just saying it just to feel her better! Maybe you don't know what love is! Anyways, It's weird i found this question here. Like I told you before, I just want you to be happy no matter what, follow your heart. You know what's good for you and you deserve all the respect in this world. "IF" you ever stayed with your BF he better treat you right or else i'll kick his butt ok??? :) JK

Answer 7

It sounds to me that your special friend is more important and well I rather let a bf go then a special friend... I don't think you should let your best friend go...In time you will figure it out..

Answer 8

There is only one kind of love. The thing that makes it different between boyftiend and friend is the "in love" part. I believe that if you explain you friend that you love him but you are in love with your boyfriend & that you can only give him your friendship he will accept it if he sees you as anything more than a girlfriend.

Answer 9

Trust me he doesn't love you, you are kidding yourself. You just want to feel good about yourself with this acne ridden boy who would fall for any girl who looked at him. Let;s be serious, he's desperate and your the hound who he followed. The answer is simple, let him go girl, you can do better......Right???

Answer 10

i don't know. i would like to find out also. he may have moved on but just wanna be your friend. or he just wanna get over with the crush by talking to you and letting the crush dissipate. just behave normal, be his friend and eventually he will understand. try to find something positive out of this friendship than feeling miserable for him. he may not appreciate it though....