im currently dating someone i care deeply about. we had the "how many people have you slept with?" conversation the other day. he's been with 25 people and lets just say i wasnt expecting it to be so high. i dont think im mad the numbers so high, i was just shocked. he's clean and thats all that truly matters in the end. im just not sure if it bugs me enough to hold a grudge or just let it go. so some advice would be nice.
btw im 18 (19 in feb) and he is 21
2006-12-21 18:58:00 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
-i didnt ask the question, it just sorta came up
-i knew he wasnt a virgin, i knew we both werent by any means
-we were both recently tested so thats how i know hes clean
2006-12-21 19:17:17 · update #1
Most males his age have done the 'exploring' process so 25 is about average for men of 21. As long as he is faithful to you and treats you as you deserve then what difference does it actually make how many women he was with in the past ? If it is going to bother you then you need to move on, but if not then just accept it as part of the past and move on with him.
2006-12-21 19:03:50 · answer #1 · answered by Tequila Sheila SA 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Maybe he's trying to settle down now. I mean he slept with 25 girls obviously he did so when he was younger and looking for adventure with no commitment for a relationship. If he's treating you right and not being your b/f to sleep with you, then I think you should forget about it.
I'm telling you so because a friend of mine did the same and he started sleeping with girls when he was just 16. In one Saturday he even met with 3 different girls. When he was asked why are you doing this he said that he doesn't want a relationship and the commitment that a relationship involves. Today 8 years later he has a g/f and he's in a serious and sincere relationship. This relationship is now 4 years old.
What I'm trying to tell you with my friend's example is that you should forget the past and look towards the future hun. Hope this helps and Good Luck
2006-12-22 03:09:46 · answer #2 · answered by Falcon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The figure of 25 is high for a 21 year old but not impossible, in my drunken late teens i was managing this per semester until i got bored of not remembering girls names wondering why i was getting funny looks from people i don't remember meeting, let alone shagging.
I had that conversation with my wife and she reacted the same way you have at first, after further conversation she has come to terms with the fact that the past is the past we don't live in it we live in the present and in the present i no longer behave like a randy goat.
Personally i believe this is a phase some boys go through and grow out of, i too am clean and happily married with children.
So don't live in the past, build your future together, good luck.
2006-12-22 03:21:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he was expecting a high number form you so he probably said that high number just to keep up with you...or he may just be trying to make you want him more in the sense that he can have someone else if he wants to. I wouldn't worry too much about it becauseif you care about him that he should be with you and only you so all those other people shouldn't matter now. if he has really been with that many people id MAKE him get checked though because ne of those people may have had something you don't want to catch.
2006-12-22 03:06:20 · answer #4 · answered by ROBERT R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what allot of people get hung up on how many people the other person has or has not slept with sexually my thing is Who Cares as long as they are faithfull to you. Everyone in there life has or will have sex with one or more people and that's normal for everyone is trying to find that special someone that is going to make them feel that sertain special something that they are wanting in there life. So move on and enjoy being with him and talk about things that you want to do together not about past issues for that only causes pain and arguments. Go forward not behind.
2006-12-22 03:18:57 · answer #5 · answered by outlawprincess5321 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is 21 and he has been with 25 women???? How long do you expect this to last before he moves from you (26) on to 27? Careful here honey! Clean or not - he seems like a player.
2006-12-22 03:02:03 · answer #6 · answered by iluvafrica 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh dont know but considering his age maybe he's so not ready mentally to settle down for a commitment. You should wait on getting too close with him and see how things go over some time. He didnt do whatever he did to hurt your feelings for you to consider holding a grudge against him. He didnt know you did he and say oh Im going to do this girl or that to hurt you. Anyway, just take some time with him to get to know him.
2006-12-22 03:07:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is something to worry about if he's been in a few serious relationships. Being that young (21) doesn't leave a whole lot of time for flings, so that might mean he was cheating on previous girlfriends. Past behavior is the best indicator of future behavior, so watch out.
2006-12-22 03:02:13 · answer #8 · answered by medellia1984 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it all depends is he being honest or is he just saying that thinking it makes him look good or is it hes been with more then 25 the choice is yours if hes been honest with you all along then its best to let it go and if he hasnt been honest then something has to be done now cuz all lies tend to come out sooner or later and for another thing....things that happen before you two knew each other shouldnt matter all that matters is how u both feel about each other now. good luck
2006-12-22 03:36:33 · answer #9 · answered by hotin t 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i used to wanna end up with a virgin but then i realized its kind of immature to not wanna be with someone just because they've had sex with other people. i mean i know you arent trying to care about it and its hard not to worry about that. but if you really love them then that shouldnt matter. youre dating them for the whole package, right? i hope things work out the way you want them to.
2006-12-22 03:06:39 · answer #10 · answered by beemariebee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋