Did I do the right thing? When will I quit blaming myself?

Question

A week ago my shepard/husky mix 10 years old started going outside potty more, then 3 days ago he started bleeding (dripping), a dark blood
from his penis. I took him to the vet andthe vet said he thought it was kidney stones or cancer of Kidneys. He said his membranes did not look good because his gums were not very pink. I asked his honest opion and he said either way he would haev to have surgery and even though my dog didn't show me he was in pain, he was in terrible pain. If it was cancer they could remove but Kemo would have to follow. I had to put him to rest and now after reading some sites online I found there are ways to dissolve Kidney Stones. This dog was my life. I slept on a hardwood floor with him for 2 months while he dhad a rupctured disk. He thanked me everyday when he just looked up at my eyes with all his love and compassion. Did I do the right thing? I hurt so bad........

Answer 1

you did the the best thing you could do at the time. you put your dog first, it's difficult, but he's a piece now. usually kidney stones will not make his gums pale. it sounds like your vet made a mistake. and i never say this, but really from what you said it sounds like your dog may have had a hemangiosarcoma. which are very cancerous and lethal. this is a very rapid growing tumor that can affect everywhere of the body. usually it is attached to the spleen and sucks the blood out of the poor animal. it can cause blood in the urine and tons of damange. surgery can be done to remove the tumor, but the chemo is what follows and can add maybe a month or so to a dog's life usually. sometimes longer.

you made a very personal decision based on all the years and love you have given your dog. it is not up to anyone to judge you, whatever decision you made was out of love for you dog. and a decision based on love is not wrong no matter. you sound like a wonderful owner and your dog was lucky to have someone like you until the very end.


as for the suggestion that a new puppy will fill a void, how awful to suggest that something could "replace" what has been lost. how superficial. take time to grieve, you lost a very good friend. and when you are ready to love again a new buddy will come into your life. but never to replace the loss. your dog can never be replaced, he was one of a kind and very special.

Answer 2

The relationship you shared with your dog sounds like true devotion on both sides. You have indeed been a wonderful caregiver and I think it wonderful that you were able to share 10 years together. That is indeed a lifetime of memories and love together. You will never forget this time together and the memories of special times will linger on and you will cry and as time passes a tear will come instead, but also a smile and the memory will be stronger of the beautiful face of your beloved dog,

It will get better but slowly. You will be second guessing yourself for a while if only and if, but, dear hurting soul, the greatest gift one can give to an animal is to NOT see him as human but, rather, as the wonderful animal companion who trusted you to look out for him. And what did you do? well..you found him to be sick and discovered that he was suffering and that no matter what you did or didnt do to keep him alive, he would undergo pain and confusion and tremendous fear being away from you and not understanding. What a wonderful companion you turned out to be, to make such a sacrifice for yourself to let your wonderful friend go. You know it was the kindest thing you good do and you feel terrible guilt just the same. Dont be angry with yourself and try to second guess yourself or your vet or anyone. Forget about the 'what ifs'.
There arent any.
Plant a bush or tree or perrenial plant somewhere you can go and see it grow and you will have a living memory. Tell someone about the planting.. a friend, a child and let them see it and thus feel the power of your love and devotion and the wonderful way you keep the memory.
If you have somewhere a foto of your dog.. take it and frame it and set it somewhere that you will see it and let your sadness out and a day will come when you realize that you have no longer a huge hole in your heart but an enormous memory of this wonderful creature who lives on and on in you.

You are not alone. I know....I share your pain.

Answer 3

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your pet.

You did the right thing. Do not blame yourself, every dog's life comes to an end at some point. You loved your dog and he knew it, he had a happy life and you did what was best. We have to take care of our pets when their lives take a turn for the worst. Since the outlook was so bad for your dog it sounds like you did the most humane thing for him. 10 years is a good and full life. You didn't want him to suffer, chemo is rough, even for a young dog. No matter what you would have done it would have caused pain and suffering. You did what was necessary and I know it is tough, it's horrible. It will take time.
Consider adopting another dog or puppy. They can fill the void in your heart and you are not being unfaithful to your previous pet. But, you know you have a lot to offer and bringing in a new dog to your life may be the best thing for you.
If you don't feel ready then wait until you are. In the meantime, remember that your dog knew he was loved. It's not your fault he had failing health, he was getting pretty old. Just know in your heart you did the most humane and loving thing for him.

Answer 4

You obviously loved this dog very much, and because of that have no doubt you did the right thing. It seems your whole thought was for the comfort and well being of him.
Even though you found possible solutions, you could just as well have just been delaying inevitable causing more heart ache and pain. At least you can hold on to a peacefull final memory, being close by at the time, if it had prolonged any longer you may not have had the chance to be there or for it to be as peacefull.
I hope your heart break mends over time, thoughts go to you and the memory of your dear friend.

Answer 5

Unfortunately you found a bad vet who didn't take the time to find out for sure what was wrong with your doggie. Putting him down because of kidney stones seems a bit drastic and the vet should have known of ways to get rid of them without killing the dog. It's not really your fault, because you obviously believed the vet SHOULD know what he was talking about. Unfortunately, some don't. It's going to hurt for a while I'm sure, but at least you can find some comfort in knowing your friend isn't hurting anymore and he had 10 years of good life with you.

Answer 6

I'm so sorry. I've lost two very special dogs in my life, one to cancer and the other to diabetes. It can be so hard coming home and not hearing his nails clack on the floor or dropping a piece of food only to realize no one will come and eat it up.

That's the hard part about being a pet owner. You'll always outlive them. It's tough cause the oldest dogs and cats only live to be 15 -20 anyway, and that's if they're REALLY lucky. J

ust be glad he's not suffering anymore. Time heals all wounds. Maybe someday you'll want another dog in your life, but for now just take it day by day.

Answer 7

Teresa. I too had a shepard/husky. He and I became fast friends to the point where he was my child. I have had a lot of dogs in my life and i'm not exagerating when I tell you he was the best i've ever had. He got to about 130 lbs and was the biggest puppy I've ever seen. He developed hip displasia and it progressed very rapidly to the point where he could no longer follow me upstairs when it was time for bed. (He always slept right beside my bed). I too spent many nights on the floor with Buddy just to bring him as much comfort as I possibly could. Finally when he could no longer even get outside to do his thing it was time. I agonized over the decision for many days and finally had no choice. The doctor reminded me that he was in agony and I was only keeping him around for me. It has been 2 years since that horrible day and I am getting emotional over the loss of my friend even as we speak. I have another dog now and even though I love him very much I still think about Buddy regularly and wonder if I really gave him every chance. He was only 3 years old when I ended his pain, and mine just began. On those days when I am feeling really down, I just remember that Buddy knew nothing but love and affection, and happiness for as long as we had eachother. I gave him a wonderful life as I'm sure you did for your friend as well. Don't blame yourself, you didn't end his life, you ended his pain. Hold all the good memories of your boy close to your heart and never let them go. My heart goes out to you.
A fellow dog lover.

Answer 8

There's never a right answer to your question. I've kept a dog alive that should have been put down, and I've had a dog put down that I found later could have been helped. You have to go with your heart and what's happening at that moment. The one i kept alive to long was also a shepherd mix, and my baby boy. In retrospect I should have had him put down, but I couldn't, and I hurt just as much for not doing it as you do for doing it! Yes you did the right thing at that time--you couldn't let him suffer while you looked up cures on the internet, and who's to say those so called cures were even available or affordable to you. It's okay--I still cry over my Boo after 3 years (he was 16 years old)! Something I did that helped was to buy one of those collage picture frames (a 10 x 13 with places for small pictures in it) and I've got pics of him from 6 weeks up until a week before he died. It hangs in my living room. Doesn't fit in with the "decor" but it's my little homage to my best friend.

Answer 9

Well if he was in pain then you did the right thing...its not fair to let him keep living while being in pain. I don't know much about kidney stones in dogs but you had him for 10 years which is a long time to have a dog especially a big breed dog. Its hard and it will take a long time for you to be ok with your decision but you have to know that your dog is better in heaven now because he is in peace. And I know this might not be the best option but you could always get another dog. Maybe not another german shep. but maybe another dog will help you so your not alone.

Answer 10

Only some stone can be treated that way and it could very well had been cancer. If I were you when you get a new dog find a new vet. He should have told you he could have done a ultrasound to see if it was stones. Stop blaming yourself you did what you thought was the bet thing. It is not your fault that the vet was lazy or incompetent or both