Should I Tell Her?

Question

Here's the story. I'm 20 years old. Ussually not interested in too many girls, but one has really caught my attention. She is 19 and she is an insecure perfectionist (insecure about herself, but demands perferction...i know, deadly combo.) She has a boyfriend (long distance relationship, 1 month), who she see's maybe once every 2 wks. I'm falling hard for her (known her 4 months). We've been getting closer, we've "cuddled" a few times. Would've had sex, but she wants to remain loyal to b/f...and I don't want to pressure her and be something she regrets. Anyway she is away for the holidays (till dec. 26) and she hasn't talked to her b/f in some time. She told me she wants to wait until after the holidays to see if she can work stuff out w/ him. I'm falling in love w/ her. So I'm stuck in a dillema. Tell her I love her, or play it passive and see what happens. What should I do? Wait it out. Tell her now? Wait till after holidays? I don't want 2 lose an opportunity, but also don't want

2 damage our current relationship, because I am taking classes w/ her in the spring. She is def. interested in me, but she is loyal and doesn't want to be deceiving to her boyfriend. I want her. Period. Let me know how you think I should approach this.

BTW> She has only had 2 boyfriends. Sex with only 3 people. And is easily attatched. Help me out!

Answer 1

You can sort of tell her how you feel but don't say the 'i love you' just yet...until you know for sure that she wants you too....good luck!

Answer 2

Quite a predicament, but here is my advice anyway: I agree that you don't want to wait too long, but at the same time, if she is still commited to the other guy and isn't ready or willing to let go of that first, you don't want to put her in a difficult spot by being a moron and telling her either too quickly or too bluntly. That will make you look either posessive, desperate, or both. I'm told that girls don't like "desperate", so try to steer clear of that.

Having said that, that doesn't mean you can't talk to her about how you feel about your relationship. I'm not sure I'd go so far as to say you love her as, given the circumstances, that will be like tattoing "DESPERATION" across your forhead. ;-) Girls don't dig that. But you can talk about all of the things you like about her, maybe tease her just a bit about some of them, and let her know that you definitely appreciate her company. Right now, she's in the position to make a choice for herself, and you really wouldn't do yourself any favors coming on too agressive here. Play it cool and be honest, and let her decide. If you do it right, I'll bet she'll pick you.

Wishing you the best of luck.

Answer 3

You should ask her something like, if I were interested in dating you would you dump your boyfriend for me. Then wait for her to respond. If she says something like noo you know we're just friends and we could never be anymore than that then, you will know that she is not interested in you but, if she says something like heck yeah in a heart beat, I would go ahead and tell her that you want to go out with her but, you are just waiting for her to break it off with her b/f. Be honest and let her know that you're in love. Waiting it out is so hard to do and it don't solve anything but confusion for you.

Answer 4

You need to put pressure on her to make a decision, and I DON'T mean by an ultimatum or telling her you love her - I mean by backing off so long as she hangs on to that relationship.

Besides if she cheats on her dude with you, in the long run, you'll begin wondering when is she going to do that to me?

Answer 5

tell her you like to start dating her more seriously

Answer 6

Grow up and find someone who is available.....She is not ready for anyone yet .....

Answer 7

Yes tell her now