my boyfriend doesn't want me to work???
if i keep working hes goin to breakup with me..
and if i stop working he will stay with me..
but i want to work...so what do i do???
i dont want him or anyone to boss me around.....
2006-12-21 18:01:39 · 26 answers · asked by cristina 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Do NOT quit your job because of a guy!
Anybody who does not respect the fact that you want to work does NOT love you.
What if he turns into a complete a.s.s.hole? Then you have no job and NO money to get out of a bad situation. And controlling people are famous for turning into complete a.s.s.holes... the signs are already there: he's making threats (to leave) if you don't do what he wants.
Tell him to get lost.
2006-12-21 18:08:34 · answer #1 · answered by sueflower 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let's face it, with a 66% divorce rate in this nation, and of those, 20% are admittedly unhappy, marriage is thankfully becoming a thing of the past. Yet millions continue to throw away their dreams and goals, and trap themselves. Why? The answer is quite simple: Money. There are literally BILLIONS to be made off of foolish people. We are all born with the impression that "You are going to be miserable unless you marry someone." This is often said by the parents, whom are either miserable, or divorced themselves, wanting what they think is the best for their children. The media, fueled by dollars, pushes the wife, husband and three kids’ image daily upon everyone using TV, radio, internet, even respectable newspapers engage in this propaganda. The "marriage industry" has (as I said earlier) billions at stake. The TRUTH is: you are your own person. Marriage is (in this modern day) a defunct, un useful, and in some cases, a brutal way of oppression against ones dreams, desires, wishes, hopes, and free wills. Now, I am in no way wishing upon anyone engaged in a monogamous relationship to stop. It is imperative however, that the two people engaged in the relationship, heterosexual or homosexual, be free to do what they want. If one wants to go to schooling, get a different job, or travel, the partner has absolutely NO right to attempt to force the other person not to. Do not believe the hype. Do not believe the lies. Marriage is NOT essential to health. Millions live happily single. You are not miserable alone. You do not need kids, (our populations are too large anyway.) You and your partner do not need to be married. What does a certificate of marriage prove? Does it decide how you feel for someone? All that certificate does is cement the current situation you are in. It is extremely costly both to your credit, and your wallet to break from whatever situation you may have gotten yourself into by spending thousands on a wedding that all led to this: Misery. Be smart people, be yourselves.
2006-12-21 18:02:27 · answer #2 · answered by united_nations_pilot 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you whole heatedly. You need to work so that you will remain self reliant. Loving someone, and sharing your life with someone is a good thing, but it's not such a good thing to become too dependent on anyone, you need to be able to stand on your own two feet if necessary. There are times in a couples life when two incomes may be very necessary, and times when one is without a job and the other partners income has to pull all the weight.
If he's that insistent on your quiting your job, it sounds like he is trying to keep you "under his thumb". Does he want to be your lord and master? You need to find out why he really feels that way, and make sure he knows why you feel the way you do. If you can't get on the same page about it, I'd recommend you move on and find someone who can compromise. He sounds pretty controlling, and I think you are too independent for that.
2006-12-21 18:13:31 · answer #3 · answered by kj 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I assume you're female. - you never know these days - the answer would be different for homo's.
If you have children, I feel like you shouldn't work until they're 6 or 7 years old at least. At that point they and you will need social contact outside of your home life.
Don't marry and work just for the extra income.
If you're not planning on marriage, do what you want. He will, and you'll both move on to a better catch in a few months. Please do not plan a family outside of marriage!!!
Think a little beyond today before living with someone of the opposite sex, for sex or companionship - it's usually not as attractive as the first few weeks or months seem.
Look for marriage with a man who will be best for both you and your children (again assuming you currently have none - even if you do, your major job is to raise the children properly, with his involvement and help, of course).
Good luck and sense, joe
2006-12-21 18:15:23 · answer #4 · answered by joe_tiac 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It pretty much sounds like your boy friend is a control freak. Insecure about himself is one of the best reasons he does not want you to work. If you do work you might find someone better than him....Mmmmmmmmm ...........Sounds if there is a little jealousy going on here to. Maybe he messes around at work and thinks so low of you that you would to...How stupid is this guy....If you don't work you are totally dependent on some one else. Why would you want to put yourself into the position.I say keep working and tell your boy friend to hit the road and grow up a little . Have him work on himself before trying to control others
2006-12-21 18:06:13 · answer #5 · answered by marshoberg55 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Can you say control freak. If you quit working then her will really be able to boss you around because he will be the only one with money. I say keep the job and lose the boyfriend. Case solved.
2006-12-21 18:04:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say it, but don't stick with him if he doesn't want you to make it on your own.
It might affect your time together, I get that. But, it sort of seems like a recipe for diaster.
Especially if you two are living together, then break up.
Not good if you are not working.
Talk it out with him and reason with him. If he cannot respect your wishes to work, then forget it, and try to make more time with him or well, let him do what he wants.
2006-12-21 18:05:59 · answer #7 · answered by Megan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you should keep working!! Especially if you like it. Tell your boyfriend to get out of the 1920's! If he's willing to break up with you over something like that, you know you need to get rid of him, girl! Don't let any man tell you what to do!
Good Luck & Merry Christmas!!
2006-12-21 18:05:05 · answer #8 · answered by Nicole K 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was with a woman once who wanted the very same thing of me. I broke off with her. That wasn't our only issue, but it was one of them. She wanted me to be a househusband I guess. I was not cut out for that role and told her so. If you feel strongly about working, you should. If he is going to give you that kind of ultimatum it means he is controlling and doesn't really care about "What YOU want" or what you need in your life.
2006-12-21 18:04:53 · answer #9 · answered by slavetofs 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yeah I would keep my job...seems all he wants to do is tell you what to do... And if you don't want him bossing you around keep your job if he breaks up with you over that then oh well.. Actually I would break up with him since it seems he has a control issue..
2006-12-21 18:03:52 · answer #10 · answered by sweetchic 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋