Like my line said...i just lost my gf of 3 years, this girl was the girl of my dreams and she is everything to me! Im 20 she is 18 and she feels now all the sudden that she needs freedom from the rel. to be young and single...so we tried taking a break and we just got back tog. but now she feels that we cant speak at all and it is killing me...she ignores everything i try to say or do...she acts as if i never existed! For somereason i can not get over her...i think of her 24/7 and it seems that i even dream about her...i try to move on and meet other girls but i find everything wrong with them and go right back to thinking of my ex...please someone that has felt this or anyone that has any good advice...cause this is killing me worse and worse everday!!!!!!!!!!!its been about 2 weeks since we talked...we talked a little but it was her just being rude to me!
2006-12-21 16:15:53 · 26 answers · asked by Broke Heart 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
when the heart is hurt, it is the worst feeling ever. there is no secret words anyone can say to make the pain go away. but, know this, there are things you can do to get beyond this. there is a scripture in the bible that says ".....the truth will set you free". sometimes life throws things at us that we cant avoid. when that happens, we need to realize the truth about things. the first truth is that it takes 2 people to make a relationship. you cant make someone love you. it may happen down the road, but until that happens, you have to have a plan to move on, just like when a loved one dies. the process is the same. first you have to accept the reallity of the situation. 2nd, you have to grieve. this is a process. get with a good friend, or pastor or councelor and talk about your feelings. get them out, dont try to lock them inside. allow yourself to cry as often as you need to. this is how God designed us to grieve. realize that you have control of your thoughts and that it is not good for this situation to consume "all" of you day. get involved in life and living. do things that make you happy. dont withdraw. do things with others and realize that as you let go of this relationship, it will gradually get better. the most important thing is to forgive her. unforgiveness and resentment and negative feelings towards someone will keep you in a prison. there are support groups everywhere. in the community, or in churches. being with others who are going thru the same thing suremakes it alot easier. i can guarantee you that if you live long enough, there will be other things that will cause pain. learn to deal with dissappointment the right way and they wont be so dibilitating in the future. trying to get over it by dating other women is not the way to fix things. your heart cant handle it until it gets healed and is ready to move on. take the steps to get healed and later you'll be ready to get involved in another relationship. you must also realize, that your ex is only 18 yrs old. a shallow relationship may be o.k but when it starts getting deeper with more commitments , it can be scarry. give it some time.
2006-12-21 16:37:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
im going through the EXACT same thing !! Well i just take it day by day dont force urself 2 date anyone right now b/c all it will do is remind u of how different she is from them. Just be alone 4 a while rediscover urself realize that u are an individual and dont need any1 2 complete you, she was just an enhacement, you are still the base structure and you can and will survive this!!!!! Start hanging around friends and once u do start dating again, go on double dates so you can all hang out as a group. I know it hurts but u will get through this, it takes time and believe me ur gonna cry and feel like all hope is gone but 1 day ur gonna wake up and realize that this is one of many heartbreaks 2 come so you might as well move on learn from it and b ready 4 da next 1. and more often than not , when your finally over her she will realize what she lost and then the ball is in ur court. love is just a funny thing lol so ill b praying 4 u stay strong and try to just relax a little everything will wrk out
2006-12-21 16:28:00 · answer #2 · answered by I know these things 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can give u a BS answer. I can tell u stuff like. Move on. Stop calling her.
Meet and date new girls.
But, We both know that that is easier said, then done.
The honest truth is it SUCKS to lose the girl u LOVE. IT SUCKS.
It Hurts like crazy. Sometimes u cant sleep at night becuz your thinking about all the memories u 2 had together. The good times and the bad.
And guess what. Its not gonna be easy to move on. Its Hard.
But the good news is that that is usally the last time u will feel that bad. Why, Becuz she was your first true love. Now when u do date other women, you will be smooth and suave cuz u had the big heart break. And now your the 1 breaking hearts. And girls will cry about u dumping them.
Hey, thats what love is.
LOVE IS PAIN.
But LOVE is Awesome.
2006-12-21 16:33:11 · answer #3 · answered by roberto3331 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to say that is a really hard thing to try and supress feelings you have for someone. But listen, at the end of the day you just have to think to yourself ` I don`t want to be with someone who doesn`t love me.` I am worth more than that and I am better than that.
I have been dumped before and it is not easy... you just keep thinking, I hope they change their mind. She wont, and even if she does it`s because she is not sure of the feelings she has.
The best thing you can do is keep yourself busy. Go out with the boys, have fun, take up a new hobby, maybe try something new that involves meeting people... because the most amazing thing is one day you will bump into a new person and something will happen in your heart and mind and you`ll think to yourself.... I wonder why I got so worked up in the first place.
Good luck and cheer up.
2006-12-21 16:25:19 · answer #4 · answered by meanie :( 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly I am terribly sorry for your loss. It's horrible to lose a person like that. There are two things you can do-
1) Fight, Kick, and Scream untill you get her back. Show her how much you care and that she really IS your everything. Show her how much you appreciate, love, respect, and care for her.
2) Realize that if this continues to haunt your forever. You go out forever but talk once a month and she doesn't even seem interseted than she is probably using you for some reason. If she is don't hope she'll change. Get the leg up and DUMP HER!
2006-12-21 16:21:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I first must point out that you are only 20 and she is 18! you are barely out of school and had a taste of the "real" world. She also feels this and wants experience new people. I realize this is hard, I have been in a similar situation with someone of three yrs as well, BUT I have managed to accept it and deal. You need to as well. If she didn't care enough about you to at least discuss your relationship and what is best for both than ...FORGET her! Sweetie, she really not worth it, find someone even more fabulous.
2006-12-21 16:24:29 · answer #6 · answered by 3000gthottie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all dont ever let any girl be ur "everything".Thats why its killing u like u said.Its like she took ur lights out and u r in total darkness right now.Now u lost the girl and lost urself in the process.Get urself 2gether and get over her.Find something u like doing and give urself to it.Its difficult but it can be done.I heard people say he/she is my "life"u could say that metaphorically but dont let it be literally cus when he/she is gone u got no life.Start making friends with other people and have a life.It seems she's not missing u so get ur life 2gether and move on and hopefully u will find someone.And remember,dont let her be ur everything.
2006-12-21 16:31:15 · answer #7 · answered by Ben S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is find something to keep you distracted. The more time you have on your hands the more you are going to dwell on her. Hang out with buddies, do what you use to like to do before you met this girl or find a hobby. You lucked out early. You could have gotten this girl pregnant and than you would've been really screwed. You need to cut all ties from her and make sure to get rid of anything that may remind you of her. This is normal for someone your age to loose there first real love. It happened to me, it was the best thing that happened to me because my ex was a freak-in psycho and i didn't realize it. If all fails at your age you could go to the army.
2006-12-21 16:25:35 · answer #8 · answered by teknosk1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to find something else to do and think about. Your life isn't over yet and if you keep focusing on what you don't have you will never be open to the possiblities of what the future may hold.
Write her a letter expressing everything you want to say, then read it outloud, cry, get mad, whatever, then tear it up. I had to do that once when I lost a good friend. It helped to get all my feelings out and over with.
2006-12-21 16:21:04 · answer #9 · answered by godsgirl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you. It is time for you to be "your everything", to develop a sense of self-confidence and self-worth. What is past is past. What was good will always be good. But, you are to re-invent yourself now and she will never be in that equation.
Like me you may have to go to movies or concerts alone which I found to be really neat. I understand that when you are young, there is nothing more horrible than unrequited love. But worse than that is to be prisoner of hope where you are always tied to something that is not real anymore.
Your re-invention will be such that your life will be defined by you and no one else. Set boundaries and limitations for yourself, a code of ethics that others will know and respect you by. I think your whole life was defined by her and less by you. Your situation now tasks you to forge ahead and make a new life. If you are in hole that you can't get out of, then for God's sake if not yours, stop digging.
2006-12-21 16:34:06 · answer #10 · answered by Monsieur Rick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋