I have this girlfriend and she always want to be in control. If she doesn't what she wants she'll be sad/mad and I have to let her. by the way she acts cute when she's mad/sad.
What should I do in order to regain my power ? Thanks
2006-12-21 15:54:39 · 34 answers · asked by Lomus 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I like Sassy's answer -- Grow balls...
One thing you didn't mention is how long you two have been together. You just didn't wake up today and realize this. How long have you known this?
More importantly, how long have you been acting like this? With the two of you together, she is displaying a behaviour, and you are allowing yourself to be manipulated.
The problem is that you have created a "reality" in this relationship where she is dominant and you are a door mat. Statistically speaking, she ain't going to change, and this relationship will only be successful if you continue to be a door mat.
You have my permission to grow some balls here, stand your ground, and go against her wishes... When she starts pouting, grab her chin, draw her eyes to yours, stare into them sternly, then tell her to grow up. What's most important here is to walk away after telling her to grow up.
Now...
When she runs after you with tears streaming down her face and you turn into door mat again, write another question, and I'll help you through the next phase...
2006-12-21 16:09:16 · answer #1 · answered by LongSnapper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you dont want to regain power. there should be no "controlling behavior" in a healthy relationship. when people control othere people, they are afraid of something. could be she is afraid of abandonment, or being left alone. control is a way of staying in control of the relationship which is her way of trying to hold on to you. you can bet that either one or both of her parents were controlling and she never received unconditional acceptance from them. she probably felt that nothing she did was good enough and she was always having to try to gain acceptance by "working for it". now she is doing the same thing to you. a good councelor will help get to the roots of the problem. go together. if she will not go, you go by yourself. make sure that you let her know how it makes "you" feel to be controlled and that control is putting a wedge between you, not drawing you closer to her. a healthy relationship is when both persons freely give of themselves to make the other persons life better. you should not have to be "in control of someone to make them love you" get in a marriage support group or a class and learn the dos and donts to being married. the "cuteness of her mad episodes is a form of manipulation, and is still a form a control to get what she wants. if this isnt nipped in the bud, it will make for a bad relationship. she not only doesnt know how to give love but she doesnt know how to recieve love either. she has no self esteem and doesnt really love herself cause one or both of her parents didnt make her feel unconditionally loved. she had to earn it. get some counceling cause both of you need it in some area. she was probably a daddy's girl and she seen some of those traits in you, thats what attracted her to you.
2006-12-21 16:15:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Regain your power? I think it is normal for a girl to have disappointment when what she wants isn't allowed. Why does this relationship have to be a power struggle? It sounds like you need to ask yourself why you are "lettin her" be mad/sad instead of compromising and talking to her about your true feelings. If you want a relationship based on mutual honesty and trust, you are going to have to be more open with her about your feelings.
2006-12-21 16:02:10 · answer #3 · answered by godsgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's probably controlling because of one of two things (or both):
1. She's had too many guys control her.
2. Her parents gave her everything, and she doesn't know how to handle herself.
Either way, address her about the problem and tell her you both should have equal control, since it is a two-way relationship.
2006-12-21 16:01:41 · answer #4 · answered by teh Diana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What should you do...hmm...Talk to her. Even know you might make a crack in her heart she is going to have to understand one time or another. If she really loves you she will let you take some of the control once in a while sure. Sure its okay to let girls speak their opinion once in a while but dont let them gin all the power that you have with her. try to compromise.
2006-12-21 15:59:29 · answer #5 · answered by Rachel N 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dumbass! Ever woman get mad/sad when they don't get what they want. Don't worry. There is a cure. Knock the crap out of her. She'll start to listen. It might take a few time. As your relationship grows you'll both get used to it.
2006-12-21 15:59:30 · answer #6 · answered by poopy pants 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dude, let me tell you, DO NOT continue with this "role reversal", you will end up heart broken and sad for years! You are the man, as corny as it sounds you have to act like it or eventually she will find someone who will behind your back.
You must stand up for yourself, is it cute when you have to do whatever she says and no one respects you, including her?
You know what you must do - do it!
2006-12-21 15:58:55 · answer #7 · answered by him 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The poster sassy said it best, sassy tell all girls to think like you.
Anyhow, put your foot down NOW, if you don't, you'll pay dearly down the road. Women will step all over you man if you let them. I cannot stand controlling women, and wouldn't deal with one. These types of women are very insecure, bail out now dude, trust me.
merry x mas
2006-12-21 16:06:06 · answer #8 · answered by godzillasagoodman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk with her,tell her that acting in that way (controlling girl),will finish the relationship.
2006-12-21 16:00:36 · answer #9 · answered by cobrasnake 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Open door. Walk out door. Leave her immature controlling ways on other side of door.
You can't change her and your relationship shouldn't be a power-struggle!
2006-12-21 15:57:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋