help dealing with a family members death in Iraq?

Question

i just lost my cousin to an IED when his unit was clearing a path for another unit in his humvee...his superior officer and another soldier were killed in the blast...my cousin was only 22 years old...i had some good times with him as a kid....i am full of anger...both at the US government for starting this war and the ignorant extremists and iraq...how can i deal with this?

Answer 1

I just lost my brother in Iraq & my husband will be going over there soon. It's a very hard thing to deal with. My brother was only 29 & he had three young children. Your anger is very normal. It will ease some after some time though. Remember that the US did not start this war & that it really isn't the Iraq people that you need to be angry at. My brother was very proud of what he was doing over there. He was able to work with allot of them & see some of the children. He told me several times that he was glad that he was over there helping them & that they told him so many times "thank you" and how much better their lives are now. I say this so that you know that your cousin didn't die for nothing. Right now your dealing with the lose & going through the normal emotions. If it continues & you just can't seem to deal then you might need to contact a counselor. Your cousins command should be able to help put you in touch with some one with experience in helping with the lose of a loved one due to this war.

Answer 2

It is the Arabs who started it when they declared Jihad and did 9/11. More then likely he was very proud to be there. You can find comfort in the facti s that is what he wanted, truely think about what I said. It is normal to be angry Second off you can always find help in Christ, accept him, love him, let him be in you and guide you, Christ helps me everytime. Proverbs 14:17, Proverbs 16:32, Proverbs 15:18, John 14:18, Psalm 37:24, John 16:33, John 3:16, John 14:6, John 5:24-25, Psalm 138:7, John 6:47, Revelation 7:15-17. All of these verses can be found in the King James Version of the gospel. Go in Christ

Answer 3

This is a very sensitive question to have a ridiculous answer such as the one from fact or fiction. I lost my 24 year old brother during this war and mostly concur with chuck. I don't think anyone in this Yahoo world can tell you how to deal with it. You will have to soul search and figure it out on your own. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss my brother. They are heros and we should be proud. Anger will get you nowhere.

Answer 4

Anger is a normal part of the grief process, but do not let it consume you. Believe that the soldiers know what they are in for when they go, and so do those of us they leave at home, I worry about and pray for all our soldiers. I am so sorry for your family's loss, and will pray for you all I know from personal experience that this is a very hard time of the year to lose a loved one. Sleep in peace tonight, know your dear cousin rests in the arms of the angels.

Answer 5

First don't be mad, your cousin was where he wanted to be, doing the job he wanted to be.

He would have beleived in the war ( almost all soldiers do) and they want to stay and win the war,

The "grunt" soldiers don't believe this war is wrong, and hate the media for lying about what is really happening ( alot of great good things happening there also)

Next the soldiers in the army today believe we can win, and they know that we need military bases in the middle east.

So if you have to be mad, be mad at the right people, the religious divide in Iraq that will not follow thier elected government, and Iran and Syria that is supplying the fighters and the arms to keep the war going.

So you honor him, you understand that he beleived in what he died for.

Answer 6

Any lost is hard but losing someone you love in a foreign country and in such a violent way has to be worst. But know you are not alone there are numerous support groups out there and online that know exactly what you are feeling or at least they have some ideas. Why not talk to someone there it's worth a shot, take look in your local area for military support groups or google it. God Bless.

Answer 7

You have a right to your feelings about the war and your cousin. Dont let anyone tell you different, even if they dont agree with you. The best thing is to find someone you can talk to. Dont keep it bottled up. I know it may be hard, but talking is the best (and hardest) way to deal with this. Good luck and I am praying for you.

Answer 8

Your cousin joined the military I assume because he wanted to serve his country. Remember your good times together and that he died doing something he believed in. He didn't lose his live in a senseless car accident or climbing a mountain in the middle of a blizzard. He was courageous enough to put his live on the line defending our freedom and the freedom of the Iraqi people.
Try to channel your anger in ways to honor his memory. Start a scholarship fund in his memory, Contact your local veterans hospital and volunteer. Contact your local VFW and see what programs they have to help families of soldiers deployed.
Visit the website wwwiraqwartoday.net and find hundreds of ways to help our troops.
My prayers and the prayers of a grateful nation are with you and your family.

Answer 9

You have to understand their is greater meaning in this situation. That is why religion is so helpful during tragedy.

Also understand that our army is a volunteer army. People chose to sign up.

Understand that we are fighting there so we do not have to fight there. Someone's way of life must be destroyed. Either theirs or ours. You cannot have tyranny and oppression get along with freedom and democracy.

Answer 10

Know that we all know what we are fighting for, even if you do not. I have seen many killed and wounded and it never gets easier. Anger however is not the answer. Be proud of who he was, and where he has gone. You will see him again, don't forget that. Do you know what company he was in and his MOS?