i am having a very bad night with my boyfirend who is bipolar, he is screaming and yelling and generally being very hurtful. I'm absoluteley exhausted with all of it and he won't listen to reason . . . i just need a little support a few words of wisdom.
2006-12-21 15:28:35 · 16 answers · asked by Sublette 5 in Health ➔ Mental Health
i feel like the disorder has just swallowed him up . . . he's been upset like this in the past but never this bad. i feel absolutely helpless. it's like living with a very mean pod person lately.
2006-12-21 15:45:32 · update #1
i am a mental health worker and have been for 17 years. it sounds as though he stopped taking his meds or the meds stopped working on him. he may also be in a manic mood and sometimes when people cannot get a handle on themselves they may need to be hospitalized. it would be great if he would agree to go in voluntarily but that usually does not happen. that is when we call our nearest mental health agency. in michigan it would be called cornerstone. they will direct from there. also i want you to try something. tell him you need to go somewhere and leave for about ten minutes. do this only if he is not a suicide risk. sometimes with us being right there we are an audience and they may act out behaviorally. if you feel you are fed up you should go away for a while by you staying he probably will not stop. i hope this helps but you really need to act quick.
2006-12-21 17:14:39 · answer #1 · answered by nakita 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really love him enough to stay with him, just think about the good times you two have. Remember, for every bad mood, a good mood could be around the corner. If it's too overwhelming, step out and take a walk. Maybe there are online support groups for people with bipolar loved ones. Do some research, perhaps that will also take your mind off the bad and make you focus on the good.
2006-12-21 15:33:54 · answer #2 · answered by Niki Stanley 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm Bipolar and my closest family members tell me that they find the most understanding from others with Bipolar family members. You might find a support group in your area that fits your schedule and has groups for friends and family. A good source is the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (dbsalliance.org)
Of course, you probably want to get support from somebody now, not next week. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (nami.org) has a great website that has ongoing chat for people suffering from a great variety of mind illnesses. They also have discussion forums for friends and family of people with mind illnesses.
All I can probably do to help you is to remind you that you cannot make your boyfriend well and you also don't make him ill. I know that many people living with Bipolar folks begin to get sucked into the whole thing and begin to feel like they are part of the problem. He has an illness. All you can do in your position is to offer what support you can, but don't let him cross reasonable boundaries.
Good luck to both of you
2006-12-21 15:50:25 · answer #3 · answered by doug k 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dealing with a bipolar spouse can me hard; my husband is bipolar. They have emotional highs and lows. If your boyfriend has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder I hope that he is also taking medication to help with his behavior. If not, you might suggest he see a doctor some time when he is in a better mood. The right meds can really help. Right now I would tell you to maybe go to the book store and have a cup of hot tea and honey or whatever it is that you do to ease your nerves while giving him space to rant. Be patient and this mood will blow over; you just have to let some things roll off of you. Kudos to you because it takes a strong woman to be with a bipolar man.
2006-12-21 15:47:03 · answer #4 · answered by gruntzgurl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very difficult living with someone with a mood disorder, sometimes even when they're being treated for it!
However, this is HIS disorder and he is ultimately the one responsible for his own care and for his behavior. You are not his mother, and you can't change him - but it sounds like you already know that and it's just that tonight it went over the top and you need a break.
If at all possible, I'd suggest taking some time for yourself and getting out of the house for a while. Go over and chat with a girlfriend, or go see a movie YOU want to see, but maybe he doesn't. Go to a bookstore and browse around for a while. Read a totally trashy pulp novel. Take care of yourself first. You can't constantly support someone without taking some time out occasionally to recharge your own emotional batteries.
*sending virtual hugs*
2006-12-21 16:08:59 · answer #5 · answered by annoying_the_neighbours 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Patience.
The hateful words that he is saying most likely are not how he really feels about you.
I am bipolar also. At times I can't stop the words and actions that do take over me. He is being consumed. Best to just tell him that you love him and will be there for him, but the words he is screaming at you are hurtful.
Stay calm.
Don't be afraid to do what is best for him. If he is talking about hurting himself it is better to error on the side of caution, and get him somewhere that he can get meds or sedation of needed.
Since you are not married you will have to call in a relative of his to intervene.
I will pray for you and your boyfriend. It takes speacial people to love people like us.
2006-12-21 16:14:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
By tomorrow his other personality will return. Being with a bipolar person is very tough. They go from very high to the world hates me in a flash. All I can tell you is that if you love the guy tough it out. The good will out weigh the bad. However this abusive talk will be a normal occurrence.
2006-12-21 15:33:26 · answer #7 · answered by ambi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he in therapy? Does he do as the Doctor tells him to?
If not, you should leave him, IMO.
There are a few bipolar people in my family, and they turn into something akin to monsters when they do not take their meds. They make their spouses and children suffer badly.
Only you know what you want to do. Do you want to continue to have days like this with him?
I have only my opinion to offer, and it's this: he is your boyfriend, not your husband. If you don't have kids yet and you aren't pregnant yet, I believe you should packup and leave him. Why should you commit yourself to a non-marriage relationship with a man you don't have kids with, if he makes you suffer, and won't take steps to correct or control his problem?
But you have left out some information, and the conclusions I have come to may be wrong because of it.
May you know the Lord Jesus, and have peace.
2006-12-21 15:39:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is on Meds , it may be a side effect. Many side effects listed with ther FDA can worse than no drugs. Some people get worse. Anti-depressents are addictive and can create huge changes in a person. Please reveiwe the site below.
2006-12-21 17:39:34 · answer #9 · answered by dim_sum 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well he needs to take his medication, cause if he is not taking it, or taking it right, then yes he can get this way. If it does not get better and he will not go and see his doctor about it, then you are going to have to help him by calling someone in to get him there. The condition is one of a chemical inbalance. So it is really im-
protant that he takes his medication.
2006-12-21 16:07:51 · answer #10 · answered by Ladyofathousandfaces 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋