Just curious, why taking into account the way society is today why would an American male(specially if you are non religious) under 40, white or black ever want to marry an American woman? I have been to about 4 weddings of Americas in the last 4 years between white male/white female, w/w, black/black, and bl male/wh female. They all got divorced in less than 2 years. Everybody that I know is getting divorced. 1) These days it is very easy to have sex without getting married, and sex is nothing to so many American women (believe me I went to college here, why buy a cow when you can get the milk for free). 2) Before most of the time the woman was the main person holding the marriage, nowadays that is mostly not the case, lots of them are pretty quick in divorcing. 3) Money loses in general are pretty bad for males. 4) Many American women are raised to be like males, not many good wives in that group, more into parties & drinking. Living with somebody seems so much efficient, and simple
2006-12-21 14:47:11 · 21 answers · asked by malk e 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I am not trying to attack anybody or American women, no need to get bitter or do personal attacks in your comments. I think people are free to live anyway they want to live, and I think that there are a few women that might be good wives (especially if they are religious, just based on my observations). I am just curious for males who are under 40 today? Why not just live together, so if you split up the social & financial ramifications are not as bad? I have heard a few good answers so far. It seems that some American women got offended. I am just asking a question based on my observations. I have traveled a lot in my life, and I know lots of people. I am lucky to be in a good relationship with an American woman raised in a different culture, so her set of values are very different. But I think the standard set of values in the US in general for women have not really prioritized marriage in the last 40 years or so. I am not sure if is good or bad, it is just the way it is
2006-12-21 15:51:45 · update #1
I can't speak for everyone but I know my fiance wants to marry me to have the official claim on me. Sounds archaic but it's also sweet in it's own way. It's a way to prove his commitment and love to me to the rest of the world. And ideally you don't have to do that...and I don't need him to. But realistically when you're not married everyone is always harping about how he could leave at any moment. We're both tired of that and the nasty looks we get because we have a family but no wedding vows. If it were completely up to us and wouldn't effect our daughter and future children we would never get officially married. But society requires it nowadays just as much as it did in previous generations...and it makes filing taxes easier too. LOL
2006-12-21 20:48:50 · answer #1 · answered by evilangelfaery919 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No matter where you come from in this world your marriage isn't guaranteed to work out. It doesn't matter if you have had sex with that person before, if you were white, black, green or purple. What really matters is the reason why those couples CHOSE not to stay together.
A marriage is a job- one that you must work at every single day of the rest of your life. When you quit working on it, the love fizzles.
The only difference is here in America when you get divorced you aren't cast aside like garbage or a pariah. You are given second (or more) chances to make amends.
So to say that it is an American thing is just plain tacky-- Lots of people in other countries live MISERABLY in homes with no love because of the stark reality that if they leave the relationship, they would have no where to go.
Those couples you know either haven't tried hard enough to keep and maintain the marriage or they should not have been married before...
Just because you test drive a car before you buy it doesn't mean its the best car for you....
2006-12-21 23:28:59 · answer #2 · answered by glorymomof3 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Males and females are quick to get married. Honestly, I don't think it's just the women who are terrible, it's the men too. Everyone is always fast to say that they've found their soul mates and all that crap, but most of the time, people have only been together for a few months and don't even know each other. People just need to slow down and really get to know their partners or else their relationships will go up in flames.
2006-12-22 01:15:44 · answer #3 · answered by Rachel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you are making far to many blanket statements for your own good buddy! You wonder why I'm offended....dude read your own question, you pretty much said all american women are self-centered whores.....I will tell you that yes, some are, but you can find that in any culture, any country. As for why they might want to marry one of us, how bout love? How bout that special connection, that great compatibility, you know the drill...sorry bout your friends that got divorced, thats too bad, but it really seems like you are righting off all american marriages based on 4 couples, get a grip dude. Also, it takes 2 to have a relationship, men tend to do there share of screwing stuff up too, maybe you should ask a question about that 2! For you to expect a woman to sit around and wait on your every need to be a "good wife" (which is what you are implying) is perhaps the mindset of some of the men in those marriages? think about that.......
2006-12-22 10:07:20 · answer #4 · answered by ASH 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
In some case people do find it easier to just live with somebody, because of what society says. But it is just as the same if you live with a person if you are married, then if you just live with that person without being married. Reason being is that the communication and trust has to be there. Whatever the situation is these have to be the true factor in a relationship.
To answer your question really depends on the two individuals.
2006-12-21 23:06:17 · answer #5 · answered by dankekag 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let's take this point by point.
1. Easy sex. Nothing to do with this day and age. I read a study just yesterday saying the frequency of premarital sex has not changed since the 1950s. People still got and stayed married then.
2. Quick in divorcing. Funny, since men are usually the ones CHEATING on the wives. Who's at fault in the divorce then?
3. $$. Women lose money in divorce too...this makes no sense.
4. Raised to be like men. Parties and drinking. Do you think women should sit at home, waiting for their drunk men to come home so they can care for them? What decade are you even from???
If you ever DO decide to get married---or even LIVE with someone---I hope she sees this list. Good luck then.
2006-12-22 04:03:18 · answer #6 · answered by Esma 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Why? Because we still believe in love and I personally cannot give up the notion that it still occurs. I understand where you are coming from but marriage is hard work, as is any relationship. The first sign of trouble, people bail and that is not what marriage is about. It is not for the faint of heart or weak minded it is for people who want to make an eternal bond to one another and symbolize their undying love. You are attacking American women and I can tell you are not nor will you ever be married. Have some faith!
2006-12-23 01:29:20 · answer #7 · answered by Rhode Island Red 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
In any romantic relationship both partners should be equal. That doesn't happen often in any culture.
It's a question of both people being confident and in control of their emotions. They should be equally independent but also capable of depending on the other to be trustworthy. That's what marriage is about.
In American culture, capitalism promotes the desire for a big and fancy party. That's what weddings are all about.
Weddings and marriage have very little to do with one another.
To answer the cow question-- If you have to ask that, you obviously don't understand rewarding human sexuality.
2006-12-21 23:00:03 · answer #8 · answered by Brentney H 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
While I do agree that people who are not really interested in marriage should not get married (they just make a mockery of it), I really disagree with your general characterization of American women.
What population of people were you hanging out with, to have developed this perception? Crazy partiers who sleep around? They sound pretty awful. And your perception is based on whatever specific group of people you were spending time with. Maybe you just weren't around the right people, with some kind of values.
2006-12-23 01:39:56 · answer #9 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
something someone who thinks like you needs to understand about the united states of america is that everything is out in the open here. premarital sex, divorce, infidelity, abuse, etc. are all things that people in america are aware of. they are not taboo subjects. everyone knows there are options when it somes to working on a marriage or ending it. and everyone knows they have legal rights to obtain property, money, etc once a legal contract between two people is dissolved. how people choose to go about this is up to them.
but i guarantee you that if sex were not so taboo in other countries/cultures, and marriages were not arranged, and people were given the option of divorce without becoming a social outcast, it would be rampant everywhere, not just in the united states.
2006-12-21 23:50:57 · answer #10 · answered by discoballz82 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋