tell me a joke or somting funny plz i dont feel good?

Answer 1

Look in the mirror. You'll laugh.

Answer 2

Here's a joke that you'll have to imagine it told in a Boston accent.

Bob gets home from work on a Thursday night and gets a call from his friend Margie.

BOB: Hello?
MARGIE: Hey Bob? Hey it's Mahgie. Listen, I'm havin a mood pahty tomarah, wanna come?
BOB: What's a mood pahty?
MARGIE: Ya come dressed as ya favorite mood. Ya know...happy...confused...angry...
BOB: Maybe, Mahgie, but I don't think so.
MARGIE: Kay, tahk to ya latah.
BOB: Bye Mahgie.

So Friday rolls around and Bob and his friend Earl are hanging out, watching the game.

They look in the fridge for some beers, but all that's there is a pear and some custard.

BOB: I bet Mahgie has beeya at her pahty.
EARL: Kay, let's go.

So Margie is having a grand old time at her party, and she hears her doorbell.

She opens the door to find Bob and Earl butt naked, except one has a pear on his penis and the other has custard on his dick.

MARGIE: What ah ya doin? Ya ruinin mah mood pahty!
BOB: No, Mahgie, we ah dressed as moods. Ya see Ahm deep en des pear, and Earl heya is f***n dis custahd!

(Hehe get it? Deep in dispair and f***n disgusted!)

My fave joke. Feel better.

Answer 3

Very wonderful! Blondes capture hellll interior the comedian tale international, do no longer THEY?! Ha ha ha. right this is a comedian tale for you. it quite is not a blonde comedian tale, nonetheless. This woman replaced into in a convenience save attempting to purchase a low priced p.c.. of cigarettes and mandatory 2 greenbacks. So, she became around to the guy in the back of her and whispered for him to step to the area so she ought to ask him a want. whilst they have been the two to the area, she whispered telling him that she might provide him some pusseh if he ought to grant her the two greenbacks she mandatory to purchase her cigarettes. the guy took her up on the grant and observed her to her house and fukkked her whilst they left the save. some month later, the guy considered the girl back interior the comparable save, and he instructed her in a muffled tone, "you already know you gave me crabs as quickly as we connected a month in the past?" She chopped back at him, "nicely, what the hellll did you think of you have been gonna get for 2 money?! Lobsters?!"

Answer 4

OOO baby, I love you sooo damn much I, wanna spend every waking moment with you, and I feel like, I can never ever hurt you, in a way that could incriminate me, but I, will never ever let it go that far.

I Love You Sooo much,
I Will Never Hurt You
I Will Prove My Love To The World
I Love My PS2!
:))

Answer 5

A pirate had a steering wheel in his pants and said,''ARRRR this things driving me nuts''


3 pregnant women talking. The brunette says ''I'm going to have a male baby because I did it in the masculine position.'' The red head says,'' I'm going to have a girl baby because I did it in the feminine position.'' The blond starts crying and crying, the other expectant mothers calm her down and ask her why she is crying and the blond says,'' I'm going to have

Answer 6

there were 2 blondes rowing down a river. One was using a paddle and one was using a duck to row thier boat. The one using the paddle said to the one using a duck, "You're the type of blonde that makes all of us other blondes look stupid! If I knew how to swim, I'd come over there and kick your ***!".

Answer 7

A little girl riding down the street on her new bicycle gets stopped by a cop on a horse. Cop asks "Did Santa give you that nice bike?" Little girl looks up and proudly says "he sure did!" Cop says "well, next time, make sure he gives you one that has side markers", then he hands her a ticket. The little girl looks up at the cop and asks "did Santa give you that horse?" Cop laughs a little and says "he sure did." Little girl says "well, next time, make sure he knows the d**k belongs on the bottom of the horse, not on top

Answer 8

Once at school, i was in class, and the class was so boring so i was passing notes to my friend. i kicked it across the room and my teacher saw it so she made me go in front of the class and read it. i was embarrassed, but not as much as her because the note said:
Dear Katie,
This class is soo boring, but can you believe the teachers zipper has been down this whole time?

Answer 9

a black guy and a chinese guy are standing at a urinal. The chinese guy looks over and says "wow" thats the biggest **** I've seen in my life how did you get it so long..So the black guy tells him to tie a brick to the end of it and wait three weeks.

Three weeks later they meet again in the same washroom..and the black guy asks "so how's it going with the brick thing?"
the chinese guy says "pretty good, it's black now"

Answer 10

Two lions walking in Time Square (NY). One turns to the other and says, "Not many people around considering it's New Year!"

Think about it.......

Answer 11

i got this little joke from a friend, but it isn't really funny. i'll tell you anyway...
there are four brothers. two of them are twins. they are Shut-up, Trouble, Manner 1 and Manner 2.
one day, when they went to play in the mall, Trouble got lost. Shut-up told Manner 1 and 2 to wait outside. he went to the police.
"What's your name?" the police asked.
"Shut-Up," Shut-Up answered.
"Where are your manners?" the police said, angry.
"Waiting outside," Shut-up said.
"Are you looking for trouble?" the police asked.
"Yes," Shut-Up said.