when i was in my teens and messed up, i worked as an escort for a while (about a year) we're getting married soon after having been together 5 years and i feel i maybe should be honest with him about my past. Do you think ther is any way I can do this without him being completely disgusted and falling out of love with me?
2006-12-21 13:59:32 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't think you should tell him. It will only hurt him and the realtionship and probably nothing good will come of it. As long as you don't have any STDs, it's in the past and he doesn't need to know.
2006-12-21 14:02:11 · answer #1 · answered by Sara 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Well i am about to marry a ex call girl ( prostitute ) and I must admit
it has not been an easy road. I must be honest in also saying that she was also an addict. We had a moment of dissagreement
where she went back to the street . I know that this was due to the addiction, and was the fastest way she knew to make money to buy drugs, and thats all that it was. In the end it turned out better for us because I loved her enough to care about her, and went looking for her. When I found her I pretended I never noticed her until she said something first. It was in a crack shack and she was in the back room while I stayed in the front. ( she heard my voice ). After she hollered through the walls " hello" , I went into the back room and told her that I missed her, but I had to run. She called me up to ask me a silly questiuon which I believed was just the reason she needed to talk to me. I asked her if she wanted to come for supper,she said, why do you think I need to eat. I responed with everyone needs to eat shall I set another plate. She come for supper and has'nt left yet. One thing that happened is we both quit doing drugs, fell more in love and will be married. We agreed that those days we were apart meant nothing and we would not ask or mention anything about them. I love her very much as she does me and the past is the past. We look forward to our future.
2006-12-21 14:17:10 · answer #2 · answered by SeaJayDboss 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No man wants to imagine other men doing it with his woman. It's bad enough if your woman had 5 or 6 guys before she dated you. If she had 18 or 19 guys, even worse!
Even though you know that she's had other men, you'd rather not think about it - and the more you know of her sexual past, the more you will think about it and get pissed off.
Now, if you were an escort for a year, assuming you worked 3 days a week, and maybe you took 2 weeks vacation at some point, you probably did it with 150 men.
And if you told your man, he'd make that same mental calculation I did
His stomach would start churning with jealosy and rage.
And he'd start to hate you inside.
And then he'd never want to date you - or if he did stay with you, that would always be in the back of his mind and one day, when he's mad at you about the laundry or you wanted to eat at Red Lobster when he wanted to go to Olive Garden and he'd throw your prostitution past right in your face!
Men are funny like that!
2006-12-21 14:12:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
There isn't a person in the world who's going to be able to tell you what your boyfriend will say when you tell him the truth. Five years is a long time to be with someone and leave out such a huge aspect of your own past. In my opinion, you have no choice but to tell him now. You have to sit down and be honest with him and hope that his love for you will allow him to forgive you for not tell him. But then again you could always wait until your married or until you have kids while the secret eats away at you and when you do tell him at that point, he will probably be so angry and hurt because of your dishonesty that he will want to leave you. Please do what's right and tell him now.
2006-12-21 14:17:28 · answer #4 · answered by stikynoterightr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is really in love with you, trust me... theres no way he could fall out of love. I do think you should tell him though. If you cant even tell him this then how are you supposed to tell him bigger things later in life? And just look at this as a test, If he really loves you, he isnt going to care about your past. because all that is left to care about is yalls future together. Im sure he will take it better than you think he will and if not then maybe he isnt the guy for you.
2006-12-21 14:05:13 · answer #5 · answered by CountryGirlygirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you kidding me? What good could possibly come out of that?
So you might feel better but you will completely jack with his head
and your relationship will never be the same again.
First: He will NEVER forgive you or look at you the same way again.
Second:He will always picture you doing something nasty with some scumbag or several scumbags.
Third: You will become less of a person to him and it will come up in a bad way during routine arguments.
Forth: I will guarantee that he has done some shitty things when he was younger that he will not share with you to spare your feelings.
Do yourself a favor and do the same.
2006-12-21 14:15:27 · answer #6 · answered by AnswerKing 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There are some things that are better left unsaid. This might hurt him' He might accept it. It's a chance you take if you tell him. The past is the past. I am not saying tell him or don't tell him. That one is up to you. For me' I would just let it lay and never look back. That's a part of you life that's over' Move forward.
2006-12-21 14:08:30 · answer #7 · answered by Sarcastic Sid 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Fall out of love? No.
Lose respect for, and trust for you? Feel betrayed and lied to? Likely. Call off the wedding? Likely.
Its going to go even worse if you are married when he finds out. The level of betrayal that he will feel will go up by a factor of about ten. He will look at your children, and not be able to not think about it. If your marriage gets rocky, and he is tempted to an affair the temptation will be harder because you already had several. To him this will feel like you had an affair.
The words in this forum - ho, whore, prostitute.. they might all go through his head too. You call it "escort" or "call girl" to make it sound innocent, or somehow less ugly. He might not.
You can make choices you cant unmake. This might be one of them.
2006-12-21 14:05:45 · answer #8 · answered by Curly 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Is there any way he could find out about your past in any other way, other than you telling him? If the answer to this question is yes, then you should be honest and tell him, because it will come as a much bigger shock if he has to find out from some third party.
2006-12-21 14:02:41 · answer #9 · answered by Liz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure not a problem. My gf was a stripper with a real bad meth addiction and has 4 kids from 4 different men and her reputation in town is aweful. But she has grown up finally and we met and fell in love and she has her head on straight finally. People change and a past is a past.
2006-12-21 14:10:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
honesty is the best policy, but you don't want to loose your love. break it to him gently, but try to make it sound like you really messed up, and you reflect on your past with more wisdom. tell him at a good time, but if you want, just ask him questions about what he thinks about escorts, or make a joke out of it... humor always helps.
2006-12-21 14:02:28 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋