I take my three and four year old boys to a play and learn class once a week. We play together for about 50 minutes and then the kids have a snack and play while all the parents go to a separate room upstairs and have a little group chat. My three year old will not let me go to the parents group. He screams bloody murder like he's being tortured. A year ago the now four year old didn't care one way or another but the now three year old still won't let me go. Isn't he a little old for separation anxiety?
2006-12-21 13:59:03 · 14 answers · asked by Mom of Three 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
He only does this at the play group. He never does it when he stays at his grandparents' houses. He stays with them all the time.
2006-12-21 14:45:55 · update #1
This is perfectly normal and a stage that almost every kid goes through at one time in his or her life. Just explain that you will be back and that you are going. Then give a quick kiss goodbye and tear yourself awhile. You need to do this until the stage is over. It may last a couple of months, but at least it will end. If you give into it- it will never end. Trust me I know what it feels like to leave your baby screaming, but my 4 year old loves school now.
2006-12-21 14:30:28 · answer #1 · answered by kelliemag 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, not to old, wait until your 4 year old starts kindergarten. Tears and crying all over the place, and the kids get upset too.
Seriously, your 4 yo had a younger sibling at home, the 3 yo is the 'baby' and you may not believe it, but you treat them differently. You expect the 4 yo to help, and have done so for sometime, how many time have you asked to the 4 yo to keep an eye on his brother while you go to the bathroom or asked the 4 yo to help the 3 yo get dressed.
They older boy has had more of an opportunity to grow and he feels more secure in his independence. That has not happened to the 3 yo.
Give him time, he will come around. Talk about it during the week, so he understands that it will happen again and again. Make it sound like fun. Don't bring up the crying part.
Wow, today is play day. You get to be a big boy and play with all of your new friends, What are you going to play with? Who is your best friend? Is there anything special you want to do while Mommy goes to her class?
2006-12-21 14:12:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what the norm is honestly. Here is what I would do in this situation though. First are there any moms in the group who would be willing to set up play dates outside of these outings? This might help him know the kids better. Second, have you thought about having him go to a pre-school setting for a couple hours a day a few days a week? Kindergarten is coming soon and it sounds like he needs some classroom practice without you. Finally, ask him (when you are not at the play group) why he is so reluctant to play with the other kids when you are not there. If he has a strong enough vocabulary to tell you why, maybe he has the answer to the question.
2006-12-21 15:08:59 · answer #3 · answered by katherinernilson 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Each child is different and will mature at a different pace. No, your son is not too old for separation anxiety at all. Are the children supervised during this time by someone who is certified to do so? Is there something going on in this time that you don't know about? Has something happened while you were in the parent's meeting? These are all questions I'd be asking before doing anything else. Good luck!
2006-12-21 14:09:51 · answer #4 · answered by tkltafoya 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are a couple things you can try, talk to him a couple a mins before you get ready to go up starirs let him know you are going and you will be back real soon and if he doesnt cry mommy will give him a big hug for being a good boy, if that doesnt work you can go the hard way ( tell him if he doesnt let mommy talk to the other mommys we wont be able to come and play anymore), i know it sounds hard, but if he keeps doing it he might start doing it for other things! also make sure there is nothing going on while you are gone that would make him not want to stay with the other kids while your upstairs.And sometimes he might be haveing so much fun playing with you he just doesnt want it to end!
2006-12-22 02:27:23 · answer #5 · answered by michelle13579@sbcglobal.net 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daughter who is nearly 4 is very similar. She will not stay at her grandparents house at night because she needs me there. Is he like this with you all the time or just at the playgroup? I sent my daughter to a daycare for 2 days a week, but when she came home she was really bad(not normally that way), and sometimes said she was ill. I found out she was being bullied by one of the boys, maybe the same thing is happening.
2006-12-21 14:42:50 · answer #6 · answered by Weiners and Beans 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would try to get to know another Mom in the group that has a child the same age and get together outside of the group. Sometimes kids are better at making friends when they aren't in a large group. If he has a friend there (brothers don't count) it may be easier to seperate from you.
2006-12-21 14:27:02 · answer #7 · answered by ruby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my son is only 2. but ima tell you my story anyway. my mother watches my son while i work. the last month or so, he screams bloody murder when she shows up to pick him up. telling her to get out. he is fine when he gets there and has a great time playing with her all evening. he doesn't act that way if she shows up at the house and i'm not dressed for work. he just doesn't want to leave me.
2006-12-21 21:42:00 · answer #8 · answered by wendy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might be spending a little too much time with him.. Try letting him spend more time with his grandparents or at a daycare for an hour or so by himself ... it will be hard at first but then he will get used to it.. and dont forget all kids are different..
2006-12-21 14:10:40 · answer #9 · answered by SyLviA! 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i don't know 100% check out the book called "What to expect during the toddler years" We bought it and refer to it all the time. It has many familiar circumstances that we find ourselves in all the time. I do know my little brother was that way with my mom till he was almost five and he got over it and is now 19 and normal
2006-12-21 14:04:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋