Since meeting my husband approximately 4 yerars ago and marrying him 7 months ago I've been dealing with his mother. I have bent over backward for this woman, we have catered to her when she has called, carried her with us everywhere we've gone etc. Then she lost her house and began living with my husband in a 2 bedroom apt. While dating my husband I worked a 50 hour week and then drove 3 hours to see him when I would finish my week. I would arrive at his house usually around 2:30 in the morning. Hiis mother had no qualms about getting up at 6 banging around in the kitchen, marching through our bedroom etc. O.K. I put up with this. Then mother's day after I become engaged to my husband she shows me 2 diamond necklaces she has bought, one for her daught4er and one for her daughter-in-law. She also showed me cards that had lovely sentiments about these 2 women. She said to me Your not a mother and your not my daughter-in-law yet so I didn't get you anythng. I'm so angry and hurt.
2006-12-21 13:42:15 · 15 answers · asked by older and wiser 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Yikes! This woman sounds invasive and threatening. Maybe she can't let go of her son, maybe she won't accept you until you're officially part of the family.
That was a very unthoughtful and hurtful thing to do. You're right unless she is completely socially impaired, then I think that this woman was trying to tell you that she does not yet accept you. Or maybe it was a test that she gives to all of her daughter in laws to see if they are good enough for her sons???
If you do have to deal with her over the holidays I wish you the best of luck. Have a good one. :)
2006-12-21 13:50:51 · answer #1 · answered by stella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are saying to much in this letter. After you were engaged she showed you items that she was giving women in her family. They were mother day gifts. At that point you were not married or living together and it did not sound like you are have children. I will agree it was not polite or nice of her. I hope you told you husband and he supports you and spoke to his mother. You know her personality now and can deal with her in the future. PS. Get her out of the house.
2006-12-21 14:04:00 · answer #2 · answered by jewelsthomas 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your husband needs to speak up and tell his mother how rude that was about the necklaces. Also, you need to give the mother a timeline -how long she can stay with you. Tell her if she really loved you , she would find her own place so your husband and you can be a couple. Having her in the house is stressful on your relationship.
2006-12-21 13:52:22 · answer #3 · answered by weswe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is there to be hurt and angry about? You went to HER home on at the end of the week, she lived there, probably paid part of the rent there as well as bills. You were a weekend visitor. And mother's day you weren't a daughter in law, you weren't a mother so what would make you deserving of a mother's day gift? If this bothered you so much then WHY DID YOU MARRY HIM? And contrary to the title of your tirade, it's not your mother in law who isn't too bright...
2006-12-21 13:48:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately all men come with a mother. Whether she sucks or not is a matter of luck. You get a crappy one. Keep in mind she'll FOREVER be his mother. You have to find a way to deal with it. YOur husband should be sticking up for you also.
But don't feel hurt. If you husband loves you that's all that matters.
2006-12-21 13:45:51 · answer #5 · answered by Jilli Bean 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know why you're angry about a Mother's day gift when you're not the mother. Did you buy her a gift that day? Get over it and get along with her for your husband's sake.
2006-12-21 13:56:05 · answer #6 · answered by prarierosebud 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's bright alright. She knows how to get to you. She's threatened by you that's why she's so spiteful and wants to minimize your place in the family. You won't be rid of her until she's dead or you divorce. Confront her about her behavior if the doesn't work keep contact to a minimum and let him deal with her.
2006-12-21 14:02:05 · answer #7 · answered by Ami 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should feel hurt...
Your husband should be having a talk with his mother..
Genesis 2:24
That is why a man will leave his father and his mother and he must stick to his wife and they must become one flesh
2006-12-21 14:29:04 · answer #8 · answered by mrs.mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're a *****. You'd come over HER house at 2:30 in the morning and wonder why she's banging around. Screw you! It's HER house. You're not even married to her son and sleeping in his room at his mother's house...?
2006-12-21 13:46:50 · answer #9 · answered by rudegrrl 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You're disrespectful, sleeping with her son in his bedroom, in her
house....I would not let you in at 2:30 a.m. Get a grip on reality.
2006-12-21 14:03:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋