What's everyones opinion on spanking your child?

Question

I did this parenting class that said I should use something called 123 magic. My kids look at me like I'm funny even though I have followed through on it and punished them like I was told. I believe that there is nothing wrong with a good spanking. Ever think that a lot of the kids that get locked up younger and younger have to do with lack of disipline? What are peoples thoughts on this subject?

So Shaz are you saying that when people used to use belts and stuff on their children than they shouldn't have children? Than very few would've had children. I believe that whipping your child is abuse, but not spanking them. My parents spanked me and I turned out fine. What about yelling at your kids? Abuse? I think that that isn't right. Not disiplining them is abuse to. If you let them get away with things than that isn't right. What about these so called strong willed children? Are you supposed to sit there and say Now that's one. Now that's two. That's three take 10? Ridiculous.

crankj92, not to critisize, but when did a 3 yr old get up there with a coworker?

jennyann 4, ever listen to james dobson? or anyone else? he agrees with spanking. when your child turns into a teenager than spanking puts them down. i wasn't talking about a 12 or a 13 year old. Is a swat on the butt something a child should fear? if you put a bruise on your child than yeah that is abuse. i'm not talking about that type of spanking. I'm talking about the good firm swat that lets your child know you mean business. not something that will leave them crying for even 5 minutes or crying at all.

For example- **He just knocked down someones block tower or would not share**

Knocking down someone's blocks is one thing, I would never suggest spanking for something stupid like that. Bad example to be honest. I'm talking about what if your child runs infront of a car and you've continously told them that the car is dangerous and it could kill them? Would you sit there and be calm and explain to them over and over and over? Or would you let them find out for their selves? Seriously? Or what about if your child is jumping off the coffee table? Or just something that could harm him physically? You just going to sit there and talk quietly to them?

Think about it?

A lot of you associate spanking with how smart a kid will turn out or you'll associate discipline with how a child talks or acts towards another child. I'm talking about using it for when a child is in danger, to teach him but not hurt him. If you tap your child on the butt just so they get the idea that it is unacceptable that shows love, but if you put marks on them it shows otherwise. People who discipline their children physically aren't people who are abusive or people that shouldn't have kids they are people who love their kids and want whats best for them. Now don't get me wrong I'm not saying that people who don't spank their children don't love them, I'm just saying that there is a misconception on the whole idea of discipline.

Our country as a whole needs to evaluate what is going on and how us as a whole (country) is turning out.

Answer 1

I answser all the questions I see on this because I agree 110% with you. I was also spanked as a kid. I turned against it in college under the influence of liberal psychology and education professors. In fact from what they said I should be a neurotic mess (I was spanked in the most "dangerous" way--on my bare fanny).

Once I had my own kids I gradually decided that my parents were not so stupid and old fashioned as I had been led to believe. I am now kind of a nutty radical advocate of spanking.

But I think a lot of younger parents are spanking more. We are just sick and tired of all the spoiled brats and the Nanny 911, etc. nonsenses.

And the idea that spanking is ineffective and harmful is a myth. It is something that grew out of the failed no-spanking social experiment starting in the 1950's.

I have actually spent quite a bit of time looking at the spanking research. All the studies finding "it will destroy your child and society" are at best inconclusive and at worst deeply flawed. Yet these are promoted as fact so much by the media and pop psychologists that it is now pretty much taken as fact. Even parents who spank often feel to the need to "only spank as a last resort."

There are actually very good studies that spanking is not only not harmful, but is the best way to get kids to comply with their parent's wishes.

You can see my review of the spanking research and literature at http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-GgIFACYzfqWx8YwvtspSWVmWzA--?cq=1&p=793

Answer 2

I think that there are many forms of discipline. There is a lack of discipline in many children--this means spanking, time outs, or any other method.

It's not about what the punishment is, it's about the consistency. If raised with time-outs a child will be concerned about them. If raised with spankings a child will be concerned about them.

If a child isn't aware that spanking is even an option they'll come to fear and worry about getting a time-out (or whatever it is the parents are using) just as they would a spanking.

The thing I don't understand is how can spanking be consistent? I feel if a child is raised in a non-spanking household whatever the alternative punishment (or corrective behavior) they have--they will come to fear.

Either way--whatever you choose to do--spanking or not, if you are consistent it's a good form of discipline. Where people mess up is when they are not consistent.

I have yet to spank either one of my boys. They are very well behaved and well mannered. They are just as worried to do something wrong deserving a "time-out" as the next child who gets spanked.

Answer 3

Hey I do 1-2-3 also, the only difference is that if I get to "3" it's a spanking. It's a rare day i ever reach "3" (thank goodness)

I am totally for spanking, and i do wish it would make a comeback. However I don't think that just because a parent spanks makes them a good parent. Most importantly quality time is needed. I'd suggest that more parents find a way to stay at home with their children. I feel that their would be less acting out, resulting in less need for spanking.

Answer 4

when the child is doing something to danger himself or others and you have tried to stop this action and after a Stern warning that if it happens again you will slap his hand or his bottom yes! Spanking is a last resort and not to become a beating! Discipline is not hurting a child it is teaching a child right from wrong, I only spanked my kids a few times in their lives I raised great kids, now raising 2 grand daughters 2 and 4 don't spank them either and they are sweet good kids!

Answer 5

Yes I raised my son as a single parent from age 11. He was a handful at first, as his mom let him. When she left and he started to get in trouble,the first thing I did was write the child-abuse phone # down and gave it to him. I told him that I was (and did) spank his azz and if he tough I was unjust use that #. I also told him I would whip him anytime he needed it and he could report me anytime he felt the need , but when I got out of jail and he came home from a foster home the deal would still be on. He never used the # and went on to finish school and stay out of trouble. Now married with 2 kids an getting out of the military has told me " Thank you dad look at where a lot my old friends are now. When my children get older I'm giving them that number." Don't beat your children but if needed, DO spank them!! *

Answer 6

Well the fact that you askes shows concern for the childs well-being. I was spanked as a child and the thing thats funny is I never had to be spanked. A spanking shows you want them to mind and love them enough to not let them run wild. I was spanked maybe twice in my life you know why... I knew that it was'nt worth it and if I did'nt want the switch to my behind I better be well mannered and mindful. So really your not beating them to death your disiplining them and you'll have to do it 2 or 3 times tops because they get the idea.

Answer 7

There is a FINE line between disciplining and beating your child. I see plenty of kids, that I WISH their parents would pull them aside, and slap their bottoms! I know my parents did that to me, and it taught me RESPECT. It taught me that I could NOT get away with everything or anything with just a 'don't do that again'. I am not mentally insecure, and have no problems. I am thankful my parents handled me that way, and a lot of other teens I've met who were spanked when young agree with me. I also noticed in my classes that they were the least likely to start goofing off in class or being disrespectful. I can't say that for sure, but that was an observation of mine..

Answer 8

spanking should be reserved for defiance. Also, max of 3 swats no matter what. some kids are compliant, but most will defy you occasionally. that is when it is useful. I have been using repetitions more and work as they get older. for ex. when i ask them to do a task, I make them repeat what I said so there is no excuse. when they fail to do a task, I make them repeat what they need to do 5 times, and then perform the task. If they fail to a decent job (cleaning rooms), then they will get more work to do. the best thing for a childs attitude is daily work or chores. it tests the attitude every time.

Answer 9

There are more effective forms of discipline than corporal punishment, forms that will correct rather than punish.

For one thing, if you hit your child when he does something wrong, you're sending the message that hitting is okay when you're bigger. Also, your child has his own dignity which should be respected. You wouldn't hit a coworker if he left his office supplies in a mess, would you?

If your child knocks down another kid's block tower, first make him look the kid whose toys he wrecked straight in the eye and apologize. Then he should have to help the other kid rebuild the tower with his blocks. If he acts up, silent treatment him and take away priveleges. Believe me, there is nothing worse than your parents taking no notice for ten minutes. Lock him in his room for ten minute intervals if he's really bad, and make him apologize. All these ways, he must confess to himself that he did something wrong, whereas if you hit him he can martyr himself.

The punishment should also fit the crime. If he simply forgets to put something away, just remind him. If he throws a big tantrum, scold him, (Big boys don't do that. It's babyish and you look stupid) and then don't give him the attention he wants. Don't take it to an extreme, but do it. If he breaks his toys, don't get him new ones. You bought him that robot. If he had a fit and threw it against the wall and broke the head off, he has to live with a broken robot.

Answer 10

I totally believe that spanking is a good thing when needed. In the past two weeks, my 5 year-old has been suspended from school twice. Before we left the school, he got a spanking from me with the schools paddle. As for the 123 magic? I tried that...didn't work, so I altered it. My warning to my child was that I was going to start counting...then for each number I called, it was that many "licks". Took him less than 24 hours to realize that momma wasn't playing anymore. He's a better child at home now than at school. Hope all works out for you.