Im so really in love with him....when he is happy with me, im on cloud 9, when he is mad, i feel like i wanna die....i wish everything would be better....he juss does not see the good woman in me....i let him move in with me in my place, i cook, clean, take care of myself, i work....i always tell him i love him.....it got to the point where i started college and i dropped out because of him.....he thinks i cheat with every man that comes my way....what do i do??? last night he bit me so hard he drew blood and he screamed in my face and it scared me so bad......i dont know what to do i need help............
2006-12-21 12:46:37 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You have to leave him. It is the only thing to do. The sooner, the better. You can take out a restraining order, too.
I am so sorry you are in this position. I've know several women in this position.
2006-12-21 12:49:35 · answer #1 · answered by Kim S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to protect yourself first and foremost. By staying in the situation any longer you are endagering your well-being and, it sounds like, your life. Don't sacrifice all that you have going for you for a man who hits you around and treats you as if you are trash.
Many cases of domestic violence involve the dual-personality of the abuser. Right when the abused says 'That's enough! I'm leaving!' the abuser suddenly becomes sweet and forces the abused to recall all the pleasant moments they shared together. It makes them reluctant to leave.
But you MUST LEAVE. Do not underestimate what your boyfriend will do to you. Things like this escalate. More than one honest, loving woman has ended up dead because they have tried to stick through a rocky and abusive relationship. Don't join their number.
You should leave him and go back to school--don't let any romantic interest sway you from following your personal goals. And ESPECIALLY don't let them sway you in a violent way.
Domestic abuse also has more affects than physical ones. It can cause serious mental trauma, leading to long-term stress, paranoia, identity crisises, and self-esteem issues, as well as severe depression. Don't throw away your life for this man. If he was worthy of your love he would treat you with respect and would never dream of hurting you.
If he hits or otherwise injures you again call the police. Call them even if you think he's going to hit you and he hasn't yet. What he's doing is wrong and illegal.
If you are frighted he'll come after you if you leave stay with close and trusted family and/or friends until things calm down, or until you feel safe and comfortable. Also-you can file for a restraining order that would put the law between you and him.
I know it can be hard talking to people face-to-face about your relationship problems, but try and find a confidant with whom you can talk--preferably a trusted family member or friend who will help you deal with the situation and leave it.
When you go to actually tell him you no longer want to be seeing him, make sure it isn't over the phone, email, IM, etc. That will only give him a reason to seek you out and then he will be angered. If you are uncomfortable or feel unsafe talking to him about breaking up, bring along a friend/family member or two for moral support and also for protection--he will think twice about hurting you if you aren't alone.
Also, you can tell him to leave your place. You own/are renting it and if he refuses you can take him to court.
Hope all will be well and that you will never encounter this type of situation again.
2006-12-21 13:03:09 · answer #2 · answered by Earnesty_in_life 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ur fooling urself when u say u love him. If this man was doing these things to ur sister, mom, or best friend how would u feel about him? U want n need a boyfriend like most ppl, we all want a loving relationship. But truly how can u really love such a person. I don't know ur age but if u r really young, u hv to start realizing that u worth more than this kind of treatment. u hv to know also that there is more for u out there. U'll get over him n go on to better things. TELL someone around u..ur parents, siblings, etc..look online or in the yellow pages for help of this kind. Consider moving out till he leaves the apt. Involve the police if he threatens u after he is out. Every day women like u make the first step to a better life...u CAN do this!
U will b in my prayers! Good luck.
2006-12-21 13:00:26 · answer #3 · answered by •♦๑•TxRose•♦๑• 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One day when he leaves change all the locks and get a restraining order against him. You love him but it is apparent the he does not love you. You deserve better. No woman deserves to be someones punching bag nor chew toy. Also make some of you male family members aware of what is going on. That might scare him up enough to leave you alone. Maybe the fact that knowing if he hurts you he will have someone else that he will have to deal with bring him to his senses. If that doesn't work try to fight back with something that is going to even the score a bat, a brick something like that.
2006-12-21 12:55:02 · answer #4 · answered by m W 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to call 911 and throw him in jail. Men who hit women are scum. You know that, though. Love doesn't hurt, by the way. Just a clarification cause you said you love him. Do you get that he doesn't love you, he controls you.
I'll tell you what you should do. The next time he is at work you call a friend over nd pack his crap that is at your house. Set it at the street. Next you go to the courthouse and file for a restraining order. next you go to the police station and file assault charges. In that order.
Or do nothing and we may see you in the obituaries. Seriously.
I saw a billboard once with a casket covered in flowers and the caption said, "He hit her countless times but only brought her flowers once." Do you really want that to be you? Do you want to be the next topic on the Lifetime movies? I hope not. Then you need to go to counseling and figure out why you picked a guy and let him use you for a punching bag. A guy would only hit me once. After that he would have to be fed with an IV for a very long time.
God created you...don't let him down.
2006-12-21 12:56:38 · answer #5 · answered by TotallylovesTodd! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Kelly, you don't have to live that way. He is abusing you plain and simple and he belongs in jail. Why? Because what you describe is assault and it's against the law. Call the police instantly the next time he hurts you and let them deal with him and PRESS CHARGES. Plan your escape. If you can, have the locks changed so that he can't get in and get a protective order if you think you'll need it. If you can't do that, find a women's shelter to which you can go for a cooling off period.
No definition of love includes hurting the loved one so he does not love you.
2006-12-21 12:51:59 · answer #6 · answered by DelK 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Call the police, document the evidence by taking photos and get yourself into counselling, ASAP. You are allowing him to emotionally and physically abuse you and allowing him to let you think it is your fault. You need to stand up, brush off you clothes, and make plans to get away. Get a restraining order, and find out about the issue with you that makes you think you deserve or need to be treated this way. It will NOT get better, and I would hate for you to be another Lacy. I am not trying to scare you. I am telling you I was in that situation and it is not pretty. It scars you for life. Domestic violence is no joke.
2006-12-21 12:53:07 · answer #7 · answered by jzmn2btrfly121 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow leave him! he has hurt you emotionally and physically and this relationship will not work if he's treating like this. if u love him and wanna stay with hi, go to counseling with him to work this situation out. you have to leave this creep, he is scary and someone you have to report to the cops, you can't love a person like this, imagine what what life would be like if you had kids with him he might kill them! This is truly awful, don't stay with him, if things get worse or stay like this you gotta get away from him he could hurt you more or even worse, i feel as if this is not a man you should be with for the rest of your life, he is not worth the pain. will never stop. It's a psychological game You are allowing him to get away with this crud then he will never stop, no matter how many times he says he is sorry or won't do again. Believe me this will go on forever if you don't leave him He obviously has issues and you deserve better, if you stay with him, you're stupid, sorry but it's the truth. he doesn't love you apparently if he's doing this you shouldn't love someone who treats you like this and that don't love you back and shoudn't, love someone who beats you up. he could seriously put you in the hospital. you need to report him to the police. this is horrible for you. move in with a frind or even your parents. you can't let him do that to you. i might be saying the same things over and over but this is serious! sweety i know this is not worth it. go back to college get an eduacation get a restaining order anything that will help you enjoy your life you only live once don't let him take away your life. and he is not a man! he is an immature little boy thats what my kid brother does to me but he's 10 your bf is older than 10 i would hope and he needs to grow up
2006-12-21 12:48:15 · answer #8 · answered by dork 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Call the police and get the hell out of there. It will only get worse sweetie, and the next time he might end up killing you. Once a beater or even cheater always a beater and or cheater. He may be the one cheating on you and just blaming you. He is ruining your life, so please get away and fast. Go to your parents for support and protection. But please do something and let the police know.
2006-12-21 12:51:33 · answer #9 · answered by Fruit Cake Lady 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The guy is an ***!! Go to a shelter!! If you are too scared to do this, then look into getting counseling to help you increase your self esteem and get the hell away from him. Noone deserves to be treated like that!!!
2006-12-21 12:50:50 · answer #10 · answered by hljones1169 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋