I have a issue with people telling me to move on (emotionally, mentally, physically) right after a relationship ended. I know that I need to move on but don't I need time to grieve and get myself together before moving on? Who gave (some) people authority on how to feel, what to feel, and when to move on???
2006-12-21 12:23:46 · 13 answers · asked by gloried 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Btw - These is unwanted advise I get from people when THEY asked me about my previous relationship.
2006-12-21 12:29:28 · update #1
well, dont listen to anybody else; do what your heart is telling you to do and i can guarentee we both know what you are thinking but i can be wrong, so im not gonna say it. nobody has the right to tell you to get over things when you can't get over them- ive been in the same situation, and ive learned that it's better to take time to heal then to just get back out there again wide in the open and asking for another heart-breaking( if thats the case) and i dont even know you, but 89% of people i now who get out of bad relationships and just start dating again, end up getting hurt even more then they were before. Im not saying that you should just stay locked up inside forever, but when you decide to start dating, make sure its the right time and trust me, you'll know when the time is right.
x33 BabiiBrownie818
2006-12-21 12:30:20 · answer #1 · answered by babiibrownie818 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some people are just insensitive. You do need time to grieve. There's a theory that there are 4 stages you go through to deal with a loss : denial, anger, depression, and acceptance. It's perfectly normal to feel all of these at any given time. A broken heart is a hard thing to mend. You don't fall in love overnight, and you don't "move on" overnight either. Take your time and grieve as long as you need. Forget what people say and just do what feels best for you.
Take care of yourself :)
2006-12-21 12:32:16 · answer #2 · answered by ♥ BuffaloGirl ♥ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No authority has ever been given. It has more to do with the balance between optimism and pessimism and the way we were raised. It's always going to be easier for someone else to way an opinion. But YOU are in control of YOU. It is wiser to always take time for yourself in any situation. It promotes your own mental health. Remember that some people heal emotionally faster than others. Maybe that's why some people have been married 8 times.
2006-12-21 12:30:25 · answer #3 · answered by mumra_06 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It took me a good 9 months to a year to get over my ex, so no one can tell you how long to grieve and when to bounce back into looking for a new guy. You take as long as you feel you need to overcome the loss and grief, you will know when the time is right to get out of the slump and start searching for a new companion. Good luck!
2006-12-21 12:26:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
everybody needs time after a relationship. So all that you need to do is to listen to yourself and do what feels right to you and just tell everyone else to get off your back and you are handling things. I say move on at ur own pace how u want and when u want to. theres always gonna be somebody trying to tell everybody what to do but when you tell them to back off most likely they will.
2006-12-21 12:28:10 · answer #5 · answered by le_le_06 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I totally agree with you!! Everyone has different levels of "mourning" after a relationship ends. I, too, feel like I need time after a break-up, to re-evaluate, to ask myself what I did wrong, what they did wrong.. what would I do better the next time. I don't think it's healthy to jump from one relationship to the next. Give yourself all the time you need. You know yourself better than anyone else.
2006-12-21 12:27:34 · answer #6 · answered by Dee 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
i think you know what is best for you. don't listen to what other people have to say. of course you need to have time to grieve.. i don't know who some people are but maybe they just want you to be the happy person you usually are again. happy holidays
2006-12-21 12:29:33 · answer #7 · answered by maggie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
And you should have issue with that! Only you know how you are feeling and when you should move on. Dont let anyone tell you different!
2006-12-21 12:28:00 · answer #8 · answered by DitziD 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I never tell people how to feel because i think of it as rude and irritating. I also never tell people to move on because they don't know how I'm feeling and expeccially if they have never been in my situation.
2006-12-21 12:27:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chocolate! Chocolate is the answer to every relationship breakup. Chocolate doesn't give you advice...it just tastes soooooooooooo goooooooooood.
2006-12-21 12:28:31 · answer #10 · answered by Flab 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋