I recently found my dad had an affair, and has two children as a result. He's dead set on telling my mom because he claims he loves her and knows she'll forgive him, he says he feels awful. Only problem is, I just found out I'm pregnant and I'm my mom's only child. When should I tell her the news? Before, or after he breaks his? I'm not married, but we are engaged.
2006-12-21 12:20:26 · 11 answers · asked by Bridg T 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
We have to separate issues here so don't mixed them up. First is your dad. I suggest you leave this to him to handle. However, you will need to be strong for your mom because there is no saying what she'll do. Advise your dad that you want to be present when he downloads the news to your mom. You dad is obviously lying when he said he loves your mom. If he so loves your mom he won't have started a second family. Now to your issue on your pregnancy. I encourage that you wait for your dad to download his piece first, wait a few days and then download your marriage piece. Speak with your Fiance first and see if marriage is on the card. If not, you will have to decide your next step. If marriage is on the card, both of you should speak with your mom jointly. Break the good news to her first like you both think its time to get marry so that she'll have a grandchild to keep her company now that dad has a second family. See her reaction first before downloading the 2nd news (your pregnancy). Good luck and you take care!
2006-12-21 12:29:59 · answer #1 · answered by SingGirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really feel that you should let your mom and dad work out there own differences don't worry about when he's going to break the new to her about the affair he had, and don't get out of line by telling her yourself I'm sure he'll do that in due time. And if you and your mother have a strong bound just sit her down and tell her, that's the most important thing to a relationship is to have an open communication; knowing that you can talk about anything, I'm sure she'll understand, and if you say that you're engaged already at least she knows that you're not bringing in a bastard! SO GOOD LUCK ON EVERYTHING AND MERRY CHRISTMAS.........
2006-12-21 12:38:02 · answer #2 · answered by patricia j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her right away. You can't control your dad's actions and timing. Besides, you want her focus on you when you tell her - not have her distracted by her own drama. (and despite your dad's claims, there will be drama).
If this is going to be good news to her. She may need the something to look forward to to get her through what is to come.
If is going to be less than happy, she'll take it better if she isn't already burdened by your dad's affair.
Good Luck
(PS RUN to the alter! Even if you are legally married by the Justice of the Peace and have a wedding later protect your child. My cousin was engaged when she got pregnant. They postponed the wedding until after the baby, kept postponing, and kept postponing. Now she is a single mom).
2006-12-21 12:33:57 · answer #3 · answered by apbanpos 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'd tell her about the pregancy now. So how long is your father going to wait to tell your mom... and why is he finally coming clean.. because YOU found out. I mean.. he had two children as a result of the affair... so it's been going on a while right... If he dosn't tell her soon I'd take it upon myself and let her in on it. She deserves to know the truth.
2006-12-21 12:32:59 · answer #4 · answered by girlgriffin711 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
if it is not to long before u get married wait until after dont kill your mom by telling her at the same time as your dad
2006-12-21 15:16:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow that is nuts. Well in my opinion I think that you should just tell her. Things that are going on with your mom and dad are their problems. Sometime before you go into labor would be ideal. lol Your going to have to decied when you need your mom to know. If it would benifit you to let her know now then you should tell her but if you wait would she be mad about you hiding it? I am sorry things are crapy about your parents but you need to think about yourself right now. and your baby!!
2006-12-21 12:34:33 · answer #6 · answered by Confused 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her about your pregnancy before your dad has the chance to get to her, because then when he tells your mom his news...she'll forget ALL about your news. Plus...your news wouldn't be as bad to her as your dad cheating on her.
2006-12-21 12:30:32 · answer #7 · answered by piper_69_77 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'd tell about the pregnancy before he told her about the affair.
2006-12-21 12:26:14 · answer #8 · answered by TifaJ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
TELL HER AT THE SAME TIME AS YOUR DAD. MAYBE WITH THE BOTH OF YOU TALKING SHE WONT BE ABLE TO HEAR WHAT EITHER OF YOU ARE SAYING!!!!! :P LOL.
2006-12-21 12:25:24 · answer #9 · answered by mar.™ 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
tell her anytime you want your dad's problem isn't yours
2006-12-21 13:14:45 · answer #10 · answered by pumpkinbugaboo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋