I am so scared and frightened. I have 3 boys, ages 6, 5 and 18 months. We were trying for that girl but decided no matter what 4 was our limit and we wouldn't go any further even if we didn't get our girl. Now we will have five, and I am so scared I won't be able to handle two brand new babies, plus a two year old. Is it normal to be this scared. I pride myself on being a good mother and I work very hard at it, but I just don't know if I am cut out for this one. I guess thanks for letting me vent even if you don't have an answer, which I guess there really isn't a question . LOL see it's already getting to me.
2006-12-21 12:07:08 · 24 answers · asked by Barbara C 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Totally normal...soon enough you will be thrilled with it. Just remember how scared you were with your first one. Talk to your spouse/boyfried/what ever and start to cope now.
Your two older ones will be a huge help...you just don't know it yet! ;)
If all else fails talk to your doctor he/she can find you someone to talk to. There are support groups and everything for new parents in your situation. Start lining up the help now!
2006-12-21 12:11:16 · answer #1 · answered by ~Just A Girl~ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's normal to be scared of even having one baby! Look at this as a blessing hun. Everything happens for a reason, and God only gives you what you can handle. That's how I look at it. I was scared of having my first baby, worried that timing just wasn't that right.... but in a way, I was really really excited, and knew somehow it would work... and so far it has. He's now 14 months old. You have a 6 and 5 yr old that I'm sure would be able to help you out some, they'd take great pride in this. :) And by seeing they are a year apart, how did you do it when they were first born? one right after the other... so, I do think you can handle this, you have experience now, and have some helpers... also see if family can help out as well. I know my 14 month old son is a lot of work-always has been, but I also take great pride in being a good mommy to him. And he's so sweet, i think he'd do wonderfully with another sibling- however my husband and I are gonna wait- and it might never happen only because my husband doesn't think he can handle another-hopefully someday though. Our son was super colicky for the first two and a half months... and when he's teething, it's like that all over again. Very rough sometimes. But he's a blessing to me, and the love I have for him, and that I already see from him, makes me proud and happy. :)
Goodluck, and congrats 2x :)
2006-12-21 16:24:24 · answer #2 · answered by lovingmommy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
boy does this sound familar!
we had 3 girls and wanted a boy and ended up with twin boys.
I was scared too. i think it's normal
i was super tired the whole time, but i was never the poster girl for pregnancy anyway.
just be sure you are clear about this with your spouse or a good friend so you have someone supportive to talk to.
get as much help as you can at home afterwards, what you want done: laundry or cooking shopping or babysitting the other kids. it was a ton of work. Everyone wants to come over to see the twins,and you end up running around serving coffee--no!
watch out for sleep deprivation. that about did me in. that's what you need the help for. so you can get to sleep in daytime to make up for being up at night. and to spend some time with your other kids w/o the babies in the act.
it's like with any child, the first two years are the most intensive, until they are really sleeping all the way thru the night, every night.
sometimes I'd think: i really love them both but why couldn't i have just had them one at a time?!
my twins are 11 now and it's fun. and they have a good relationship, they always have each other to play with or help out with homework.
2006-12-21 12:26:56 · answer #3 · answered by Nancy K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will have your hands full (and, btw, you will hear that phrase about a million times in the first year after their birth alone :-p), and it is a lot of work. And, you will run into a lot of unique situations, that you never ran into with your other children :-p However, once they get here, you'll find yourself able to adapt in ways you never believed possible :-) Before long, having twins will feel completely normal and certainly manageable...
I understand your fears, but you really have nothing to fear. Of course, I can only speak for myself, but when someone says, "Double Trouble" (another phrase that is always popping out of the mouths of strangers, whenever they see twins :-p), I've now started responding, "No, double blessed!" And, it's so true.... the following story sums things up pretty well for me:
When Anna and Josie were around a year old, I walked into our local Target... something I've done quite a lot with them :-p And, it was just an ordinary day: I was tired and not in the best of moods... I just needed to get a few things and then get back home, do some dishes, try to get dinner started, etc....
As I walked through the entrance, though, an elderly lady stopped and smiled at the girls. This wasn't a surprise since, everyone is always stopping to smile at them :-) However, she went on to tell me that she also had twins and that the lady with her was one of them. We kind of chatted for a few moments, and she told me how her twins were born over 50 years ago (her daughter kind of rolls her eyes at that, like thanks Mom for blabbing my age :-p). Then, she looked into my eyes and simply said, "It's a wonderful blessing, isn't it?"
I had a difficult time responding, because in that moment, it was like I was suddenly seeing over 50 years of the joy, pain, laughter, tears... all the beauty there is, in being a mother of twins. I could see the path that she had been travelling on for over 50 years... and I saw myself at the beginning of this path. And, I knew that one day, I would be where she was, and that I would give anything to be right where I am today: beginning this extraordinary adventure.
I try to remind myself of this whenever everyday trials and tribulations start to get to me. Again, being a parent of twins is challenging. So many parents tell me, "I'm barely making it with just one... I can't imagine having two!" However, as just about any parent of twins will tell you, the rewards far outweigh the extra work.
Having twins is a unique experience... and one I wouldn't trade for the world....
2006-12-22 07:42:25 · answer #4 · answered by TwinMommyJen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The human soul, once having been expanded, can never return to its original dimensions. Don't worry, you'll be fine as you grow into your new challenge. I had 7 kids, and wound up raising 6 of them alone, and am a better person for the experience. After a while, the older ones can start helping out with the younger ones, and 'the more the merrier' can really be true. Be kind, gentle, patient and consistent. Best of luck.
2006-12-21 12:13:55 · answer #5 · answered by Dorothy and Toto 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations! Life is something to be celebrated! The nice thing about twins is that although there are two, you're essentially doing the same age parenting as you would be for one. That's somewhat different than if you had two that were "spaced apart". Do you have some family/friends/etc. to help out--or to provide you with a "break" every so often?
2006-12-21 12:11:33 · answer #6 · answered by kobacker59 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
HECK YES it's normal! LOL! You will have your hands full, but starting now...let your husband, your own family members etc... know how you feel. Make sure they know that you're not trying to fool yourself into thinking you can do this alone. You will need their help, period. Go to the book store or look on Amazon and find books on parenting twins. There will be some very helpful ideas in there, from people who have done it before. Hang in there and try not to stress out! You'll wrinkle the babies! ;0)
Congrats to the whole family!
2006-12-21 12:08:16 · answer #7 · answered by Lisa E 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations you are twice blessed. It is natural to be scared, but believe in your parenting skills learned over the past 6 years. Discuss with your husband, before they are born, the need for him to assist with the care of the older children so you can concentrate on the babies. You will also need to spend special time with the older children when the babies are napping. Hopefully they will both sleep at the same time.
2006-12-21 12:15:07 · answer #8 · answered by Country girl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know a girl at work who had twins and waited for them to be around 1 1/2 to 2 years. She then tried for one more child and had another set of twins. She is a single mom and doing a great job and I am sure the way that you are concerned, that you will be a great mom also.
2006-12-21 12:10:06 · answer #9 · answered by Ken 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you will do fine your 5 &6 year olds are at the age where they can help you when you need it. I have a 3 year ols step son and a 3 month old daughter and he helps me as much as he can well his daddy is at work. dont worry
2006-12-23 08:13:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋