Is This Appropriate at a Funeral?

Question

I just attended a funeral and when we went to the viewing we were given a Sees Candy. After the burial, the son said: "Don't eat the candy. Give it to someone brokenhearted."
I was wondering is this appropriate? How do you know who is brokenhearted out there?

Answer 1

I wouldn't eat the candy. I would respect the wishes of the deceased and living. It's something new. I was wondering why didn't he give it out to the homeless or aged himself?

Answer 2

This is an unusual gesture at a funeral, but I am guessing that the person who died loved See's candy. See's candy, BTW, for those who don't know, is lovely candy sold only in the western US. Warren Buffett owns the company, so every bite of chocolate helps his philanthropic goals! I also think that maybe there wasn't complete unity in the family about the whole See's thing, which may have been why the son said "don't eat it." It wouldn't be too reverent to have people munching on Dark Bordeaux or Vanilla Walnut Cream at the funeral home! At any rate, it's always important to remember that sometimes after a death people aren't thinking too clearly. It's our job as mourners to respect whatever they want to do and make allowances for anything that doesn't seem quite right to us. As for what to do w/ the candy, I don't think you're under any obligation to stand on the street corner and say to passersby, "Excuse me, are you brokenhearted? If so, I have just the thing for you." What you might do, in honor and in memory of the person who died, is buy a box of See's and take it to a nursing home in your neighborhood, just as a gesture of goodwill.

Answer 3

I think it's appropriate. It sounds like they are encouraging you to comfort someone you know needs help. I don't think you have to search for someone who is "brokenhearted" like we would usually think. That is, you don't necessarily have to wait to give the candy to someone who just broke up with a significant other, or who just got divorced or lost a loved one or something. Life is full of disappointments. Perhaps someone who is close to you (a member of your family, a roommate, etc.) had something disappointing happen or will have something disappointing happen soon. Maybe the dishwasher leaked, the car wouldn't start, or things didn't turn out with the big work presentation, for example. You could simply say, "Here's something I hope will help you feel better," and give them the candy. They'll appreciate the unexpected surprise, the thoughtfulness, and the candy, I think. And it gives you an easy way to reach out to others. And reaching out to others, I suspect, was the purpose behind the request.

Answer 4

I've never heard of that before, but I think it's best to respect the family's wishes and do it. To me brokenhearted could mean just having a bad day, so offer it to a grumpy co-worker or even a stranger, though the stranger probably won't eat it.

Answer 5

I agree it takes all kinds. But if you wanted the candy for yourself--you could have told the person that you were broken-hearted. ooo,, I would not even want to eat candy from a funeral home. I know, it is just the thought though.

Answer 6

I don't even know what a "sees candy" is. Be that as it may, if that's what the family wanted to do, then I guess it's appropriate. It's not hurting anyone is it?
If you see someone who's sad or lonely, they "might" be broken hearted. Who knows. It's always nice to share something with someone, regardless of the situation. Just do it.

Answer 7

Maybe it was something that the person who has died did? In which case it is appropriate because it's a way to remember them, and keep their memory alive. If that's not the case, you'll remember this person whenever you see a Sees Candy, won't you? And that's a lovely thing.

Answer 8

I don't know what a Sees Candy is, however, it is not inappropriate. People have many rituals, traditions, our family has a party due to European roots, anything to ease the loss of a loved one is OK although we may not agree with it let them do their thing as you will do yours at a time of loss.

Answer 9

What are you on? Cats are not to be caged or put on a leash like dogs! The cat is doing what's natural, they hunt and kill rodents and birds. They bring their kill in front of the person they want to impress so they can get praise or a treat. If you must say rites over the mouse and buried it, "Squeak" three times and flush it down the toilet. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. If the mouse wasn't playing in front of the cat, he'd probably be here with us! (lol)

Answer 10

It reminds me of that thing in the movie Because of Winn Dixie, where the candy tastes like sadness.