he's comming back with his baby... He really didnt ask me just assummed that I was up for it. Now we live together and I'm not sure If I want to be with him. He's a great guy and does anything I ask. I also have a guy who I dated when I was much younger for a long time, he now wants to Marry me. I like them both and they both have excellent qualiteis. I feel like I'm stuck in this relationship, and it is not what I asked for. When I first met Tony all I wanted was fun. If you know what I mean... I'm still trying to figure out how I ended up with an instant Family. Oh there is a 10 year age difference between the 2 of us. What should I do ? And how is it that guys now just assume and not ask ? I feel if I leave him now he and his baby will have no where to go? Not that its my problem however I do have a heart and I dont want to see him hurt. His heart is Tender.
2006-12-21 11:27:57 · 20 answers · asked by Honey 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes it true. I may missed an oppportunity to say something .. However I had just arrived here myself from New Orleans and was devestaed in my own exsistance. My mind was focused on all that I had Lost during the Hurricane
2006-12-21 11:42:09 · update #1
You have to do what your heart tells you to do. Which guy do YOU want to be with? You have to ask yourself which guy is better suited for you in every way. The baby isn't the problem hon, it's how you feel about the guy that's the problem. If you love him then you love his baby as well. But if you don't love him, then that's your answer. As for the guy you dated who wants to marry you, how much do you know about him now as an adult? Why does he want to marry you now? Has he been in the picture all this time or just someone who's never let go of you? How you feel about him is what you need to ask yourself. You're in a tough situation, I don't envy you but I do hope you figure things out..for all your sakes. Good Luck.
2006-12-21 11:41:49 · answer #1 · answered by aweety69 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel stuck. In alot of cases guys do things to TRAP you in a relationship,and don't get trapped. If you truly have feelings for the other guy and want to get married do so. Sometimes guys (and womena alike)have no skills to be independent and have to rely on other people to support them.
You should stand up for yourself now,because if you don't,you'll be stuck with this "instant family". Granted there are many kind hearted people that have children that aren't theirs but treat them as they were,but you should see that this isn't for you. You wouldn't be asking such a thing if it didn't bother you deep down inside.
His heart may be tender,but his mine is fully working,and he knows exactly what he is doing.You can always make a bargain with him,if he has a job,you can,if possible,put the lease in his name,if you are going to be with this other guy.
2006-12-21 11:32:44 · answer #2 · answered by Ellie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has to take responsibility for having a child. It is not your child, so you do not owe them anything.
Is it "your" apartment or do you share it? He can get a roommate if he needs to. That might be harder to do with a child, but it's really on him.
If you aren't 100% about it, you need to put some distance there while you decide if that's really what you want. If you just stay out of some fear of abandoning them, you'll end up resenting the child later in life. You don't want that, do you?
2006-12-21 11:34:08 · answer #3 · answered by T S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you aren't sure about being and staying with him and are having
doubts. don't stay. you are not being fair to him or you .
neither will be completely happy and his child will sense it too.
he never mentioned the baby and is pushing his way into
your life.
If you care about the other guy more and are comfortable enough to have a relationship with him. go with the other guy.
yes his heart is tender . but so is yours ....
Don't feel guilty by breaking it off . He was man enough to have
a baby by someone else . he will have to be man enough to go
on his own.
Don't break your heart by staying..
2006-12-21 11:46:12 · answer #4 · answered by StarShine G 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like it's time for you to leave town.... You never put the line in the sand. You didn't make it clear. Perhaps he believed you had some meaningful interest because you didn't tell him he was just for fun. Either way, you need to decide what it is you want in life...and let him know. It's only right...prolonging this will only make him hurt more.
2006-12-21 11:38:20 · answer #5 · answered by westfield47130 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell the dude with the baby that it isn't working out - it is too much for you right now. You need to live, which is hard to do with a baby. That is his kid, not yours - so it is not your responsibility to care for either one of them. That is a grown man and he will work it out. Hopefully, the place isn't yours and you can move out cuz it is hard to get someone to leave. But, even so - you need to have him get to goin'.
2006-12-21 11:36:02 · answer #6 · answered by Amber 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do whatever you feel is right. Who do you feel that you're closer to? Who makes you happier? Think about your life and how will it change with both of them. This really is a hard decision but you have to make it.
2006-12-21 11:31:47 · answer #7 · answered by ~Stephie~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you really have to admire the guy that doesn't dump his kid, give it time you make learn to love the kid as much as he does. no rush is there, he sounds like a nice guy...give it 3 months and you can always say you tried but it isn't for you and then again you just don't know
2006-12-21 11:33:30 · answer #8 · answered by brown eyes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well U shouldnt have allowed him to move back if u werent up for the instant parenting .. Be straight tell him that u are not ready for it
2006-12-21 11:31:18 · answer #9 · answered by nitenurse 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask ur self wich 1 u love 1st, and marry the guy u want, good luck...
2006-12-21 11:32:02 · answer #10 · answered by Shay. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋