ok, first, plz dont think of me as a bad person. but there is this guy who ive had a HUGE crush on for 2 years. hes in 3 of my classes this year, and i cant get over him. but now, after a year, i finally have a boyfriend. i figured this would help me get my mind off of this other guy. but it did the exact opposite!! and to make matters worse, the other guy is actually talking straight to me and smiling at me and he'll look at me then quickly look away. i mean, what the heck am i s'posed to do? i dont want to break up with my bf, hes a great guy and doesnt deserve to be hurt, but i dont want to lie to him. I NEED HELP!! again, plz dont think of me as a bad person because im not...HELP
2006-12-21 11:03:45 · 18 answers · asked by Bohemo 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
first off you're not a bad person, but you're severely confused. If you're worried about lying to your boyfriend then it's too late, you nabbed in order to get your mind off of another? That makes about as much sense as a screen door on a submarine. If your "boyfriend" doesn't deserve to be hurt then don't stay with him because if you do your relationship is based upon false grounds, meaning that you don't care about him as much as you tell yourself you do. So be honest with him and he'll respect you for it in the long run. Guys have really short mourning periods and don't hold grudges very long, so if he seems upset at first don't sweat it just explain that it would be not only unfair to you, but to him as well.
2006-12-21 11:10:32 · answer #1 · answered by donbenecio 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you should have never decided to date a person as a quick fix to try overriding emotions you have for another person. You will need to sit down with your bf and tell him the truth, and he will be hurt no matter what, but these are the consequences of making bad decisions in the first place. He will most likely hate you for it afterwards, feeling you just used him, but then at least you'd be single and you may have a chance with the guy you really have feelings for. Don't ever do anything like this again, it's not good to play with people's feelings, whether you mean to or not.
2006-12-21 11:07:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
youre not a bad person, this stuff happens all the time. I had a similar problem this summer, I met another guy while on vacation and it kind of opened my eyes up to what I really wanted from a relationship and i realized my current boyfriend was not cutting it at all. So i dumped him. its the only fair thing to do. I didnt want to hurt his feelings but then again, if he ever finds out you dont even like him and are still with him out of sympathy, he will be even more angry. The longer you wait the worse the breakup will be, so just do it asap. If you dont feel as strong a connection with your guy the right thing to do is to let him go. that way he can go find other girls who like him for him rather than sticking to one who isnt right.
2006-12-21 11:08:50 · answer #3 · answered by idbangrobertplant 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are not a bad person. you are just confused,
try this it might work for you, it does for me actually; give your self a space to make up your mind, discover what's in your heart and mind.
here's what you have to do; you have a day off, right? like Sunday for example, you don't go to your classes on that day so you won't see that other guy, and also don't see or call your bf that day either. Just be with your self and ask your self a question Do you really love your bf? or he's just a way out? "
and what would happen if you lave your bf and that guy turns out to be not what he looks like? what if he even doesn't ask you out?
Follow your heart, concentrate and you will see the signs that your heart is sending to you, only your heart can choose not us.
and that's why i told you to take day off from them both
2006-12-21 11:27:11 · answer #4 · answered by Princess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In most circumstances I would say leave the guy and get the hurt over with, but it's close to the holidays and leaving him now would hurt even more I would think. You're in a tough situation. If you don't love him you should just leave him. Maybe wait til after the New Year and then go from there?
2006-12-21 11:08:05 · answer #5 · answered by Die S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't listen to those people who are like "you never should have dated the other guy". If the guy asked, and you wanted to date him, then you didn't do anything wrong. However, if you don't think the relationship is going to work, then you're better off figuring out a NICE way to break it off with your BF then stringing him along. He'll figure out you like other people sooner or later, and it'll hurt alot more if it's later.
2006-12-21 11:24:23 · answer #6 · answered by man_from_conniemara 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's better to be unfaithful than to be faithful without wanting to be. And it's better to tell the truth and make someone cry than to tell a lie and make someone smile.
If you're sure you don't like your current bf anymore, tell him (straight) the truth. He won't be able to do anything about it, might as well accept it. It's your prerogative. Heck, you're the lady. You tell him because he's part of a relationship with you.
Feeling sorry for him would hurt him even more. And if you allow these feelings to prolong unsaid, you're already lying--to him and yourself.
2006-12-21 11:11:49 · answer #7 · answered by inthemaking 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In your heart, you know what you want. If you like another in the first place, you shouldn't have got with your current boyfriend. If you like someone else, the SECOND you got with your boyfriend you set him up for the ultimate downfall. Explain to him the feeling is gone (better to wait until after Christmas i suggest December 30 and begin talking to your crush after winter break.) Good Luck, you screwed up, but you have a chance to fix it!
2006-12-21 11:09:19 · answer #8 · answered by curry_lover4ever 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u shoodnt have gone out wit the other guy in the first place.
but maybe u cood break it 2 the guy easily. like tell him that things just arent working out and that u shood see other ppl. but if u do do that then u have to wait like 2 weeks or somthin before u go out wit the other guy. but before u break up wit da guy make sure the other one likes u. if not ur left w/o a boyfriend agin :-(
2006-12-21 11:07:59 · answer #9 · answered by BOOM, roasted. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it all comes down 2 which 1 u want more if u want the new guy just tell ur bf u need a change and u just dont think u2 r rite 4 eachother he probably understand
2006-12-21 11:11:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋