How to tell your boyfriend he is self-absorbed nicely?

Question

My boyfriend of 2 years likes to talk - but only about himself & usually meaningless things. I can't get him to talk about his feelings, our relationship, etc. He'll tell me EVERYTHING about himself from what he did that day, what he learned @ university, to what he made for supper. But he never talks about us or asks me questions like "how was your day?"

Example - On the same day he wrote his last final this semester, I had an ultrasound for some medical problems with my ovaries. I ask how his final went but not once has he asked how my appm't went.

What is a polite way to tell your bf that he talks to much about himself and he needs to also learn to listen, ask questions & inquire about my life?

I could be blunt and just start talking about myself and my day but I would like him to be interested enough to WANT to hear about my day and what is important to me. I want him to ask, I want to feel like he's listening and feels that my life is just as important as his.

Answer 1

Give him a framed mirror as a Christmas present. Sign the card with "Here's a picture of your beloved" (or something similar) and wait for his reaction when he opens it. Then let him know how you feel in a polite, but constructive way... he may not even know he's doing it (or then he may not care).

Answer 2

Well two years is a very long time and an awful long time to have gone this long without having already confronted him. The last thing you need to do is shy away from saying something... be upfront but gentle... this way he knows you are serious but also sees that its effecting your emotions... I now its hard to do this sort of thing and its easier said than done... but you truly care about him and its past the puppy lust bs then confronting him may be uncomfortable but completely managable... just tell him exactly what you have stated in your question but more subtle... good luck :)

Answer 3

Well my sister, you came to the right person. I'm Mr. Yahoo. Well at least that's what the ladies call me. Now about your boyfirend. He is self absorbed and you need to break that sh*t up. I have 2 ideas. #1) After he spills his selfish guts on how his day went, gently asked him if he wants to know how your day went. This gives you the opportunity to state the facts. Tell hime how you feel. Let him know that you have something to say. If you are slapped by this time. Get up off the floor and apologize. #2) Just tell him you don't care about how his day went. Be bold, have guts. Tell him who cares when he gets in his little spill. Let me know how it goes sweety.

Answer 4

Oh boy, I just got out of a relationship not too long ago with a guy that was compltely self absorbed. If I didn't ask him about his day he would completely throw a ***** fit. Al he ever did was talk about himself.

Since you have been with him for 2 years I think that you can completely have a conversation about this. One night just let his talking go on and on about himself and then be like... "Hey in what part of this conversation do we get to talk about me?" I would tell him straight up that you would like a little more attention, we talk all about you but you never once asked me about my doc appt. or anything. So, you need to say something soon or this is going to keep going on. I would jus tstart talking about yourself, and be like oh my day was good and oh my docs app. was fine... and thanks for asking.

Answer 5

theres no way u can tell him nicely but u have to be honest u need to let himknow it also not good to go out with people like that but do u

Answer 6

first, ask him "do you think that you are self-absorbed?'' then, after he he answers, say "well, the truth is that you are" if he says no. if he says yes, say "you are.........self-absorbed" after that, say " we have to end this" and tell him why.