NEED SOME ADVICE- girlfriends parents?

Question

I'VE BEEN SEEING MY GIRLFRIEND GRACE FOR 6 MONTHS EVERYTHING IS PERFECT. BUT SHE IS GOING TO UNI OCTOBER AND I SAID HAPPLY I WILL MOVE DOWN THERE TO BE CLOSER TO HER. THE PROBLEM IS HER MUM IS VERY UPER CLASS AND HATES ME LOADS, BECAUSE I'M NOT SUITABLE FOR HER DAUGHTER AND HAS TOLD ME TO KEEP AWAY, GRACE AND I HAVE TALKED AND REALLY WANT IT TO WORK SO WE ARE FIGHTING WITH HER MUM, I'M TRYING TO BE RESPECTFUL, BUT SHES BEEN GETTING REALLY NASTY AND STARTED TO SAY REALLY HURTFUL THINGS ABOUT MY FAMILY SPECAILY ABOUT MY MUM (SHE DIED 3 YEARS AGO) SAYING SHE DIDN'T BRING ME UP RIGHT, THIS LADY DOESN'T KNOW ME AND WILL NOT GIVE ME A CHANCE, WE DONT TALK ANYMORE BUT SHE LIVES 2 MINS AWAY FROM ME. I WANT TO SORT THINGS OUT AND TRY AND SORT SOMETHING OUT BECAUSE ME AND GRACE WANT TO CARRY ON SEEING EACH OTHER.

Answer 1

What an old dragon!! Ok, us mothers never seem to think any guy will do when it comes to our daughters but shes taking it to the extreme! Why are you trying so hard to be respectful when she can be so disrespectful towards your mum and the way your mum brought you up...seems that you have been brought up with love, devotion, respect and manners unlike your girlfriends mother!
Just carry on seeing each other, make it more than clear that neither of you care what the old bag thinks, she can either accept it or continue to push her daughter away by being so bloody nasty to you!
If i was you, i would have Grace move in with me, telling her mum that you both feel it is a step you had to take in order to continue to see each other without extra pressure that she is throwing at you-neva know, she might realise that all she is doing is pushing you both closer to each other with the way she is behaving...like some spoilt brat that isnt able to get her own way!!
Good Luck to both of u...and dont give up!!

Answer 2

Show her that you respect her! That is what women want most especially parents. Consider talking privately with Grace's mum. Ask her out for lunch or tea and talk to her. Tell her how much you love her daughter but want to respect her wishes as well. That may mean that you need to lay down this relationship by not moving to uni with your girlfriend. October is also a very long ways away. Just keep showing her mum that you respect her wishes and that you love her daughter and want what is best for her. Don't make any rash decisions. And don't be rude either. Her mum is going to be watching your every move with her daughter so remember that. I know that if my daughter's boyfriend came to me as an adult and respected me and my wishes that I would think about what he had to say.
I hope this helped.

Answer 3

Listen, do not worry. First did you ever stop to think about that same lady that is making your life a living hell. She feels that her daughter is getting serious & now she feels she is loosing her daughter.#2 mothers have very goood instincts most of the time. Whos to say its not you. When your in love you dont see your errors, but other people do. So in your eyes you love her, in her mothers eyes you are not doing something right. Everybody reacts to love differently. She on the other hand is not acting her age. A very upper class mom does not act this way. Ive been there done that. I say stay together not to teach he r a lesson, but because love conquers all. Give it time she will call it quits. But do not put your GF IN BETWEEN. You will turn her against you. Be careful your walking on egg shells. P.S, this lady sounds evil stay away from her or watch your back. Seriously. Speaking from expirience. If you proof to really love her daughter, the lady will come around.

Answer 4

Sometimes calling somebody or telling them in person how you feel can leave room for the other person to still argue with you or get in your face.
Write a letter to Grace's mother, Tell her exactly how you feel. Let her know that you feel down because of the way she treats you, that you love her daughter so much and willing to do everything for her, tell her how you feel and what your expectations are after this letter, dont tell her that shes out of her daughters life because that can build a deep hatred towards you... that can come after if she doesnt accept the letter.
Put yourself in your gf's mothers shoes, understand that you would want everything for your child. Its obvious graces mum hasnt gotten to know u and tell her that, tell her you want to be a family. Just let it all bare in the letter, give her a few weeks to absorb everything and if all else fails tell her that if she cant accept your relationship with her daughter then she cant have anything to do with the two of you. Sometimes a little scare can wake somebody up.

Answer 5

Mother & daughter ... Family thing. Keep out of it.

Let your girlfriend sort this one out, be supportive, tell her that you know that she'll make the right decision and you're there to support her. If she wants you to go with her make sure she works hard and gets good results, that'll prove to Mum that you're good for her.

If she goes with Mums decision then tell her that you understand, chances are that she will always be under her Mums thumb and all her relationships will fail. You may be best out of it.

You give no details about yourself but if you have little or no qualifications and a crappy or no job, I wouldn't want you to be with my university educated daughter and I'd be on Mums side.

Answer 6

The mother always wants best for her daughter. You need to be strong, she is trying to push you away. She expects you to give up and run away, if u want to prove to her that your here to stay then you will need to sit her down and have a proper talk. Talk about your differences, your aims, try to reassure her that you truly care for your girlfriend. Also tell her that you can understand that as a mother she is trying to protect her daughter, but please dont go so deep as to mention your deceased mother 'peace be with her'. I hope that resolves your problem I wish you all the best. P.S. if you cannot see eye to eye with the mother, ask your girlfriend to organise a get together, so you can talk as a trio or a duo.

Answer 7

Well, maybe Grace should talk to her mum...she should tell her how she feels about you and how the 2 of you want to carry on seeing eachother.....she should tell her mother ti butt out nicely.

Have you got a good job...a car and a house....can you provide for Grace if she leaves her parents??? Seriously dude...thats whats grace's mama is thinking.

Answer 8

Your girlfriend's mom may like you to start doing things to improve yourself. You do not say in what ways she disapproves of you, except the way your deceased mom raised you and that you are not upper class. I suggest you reason with your girlfriend's mom that because you did not choose how you were raised, she should give you a chance to improve yourself because her daughter likes you. That may help. If that does not help, ask her to ask for advice in this Answers forum. She might be really surprised about the advice she would get.

Answer 9

With all due respect F**K her mother maybe in the older more traditional world she would of had a say in the matter since her time the class lines have been blurred if you and grace are happy go for it.

Answer 10

My parents hated my husband whenever I was just dating him, but we kept it together because we loved eachother and nothing was going to change that, they had no real reason to not like him which is the same in your case, you know personally that you have not done anything for them to think otherwise about you. I say you do what you have to do, Keep close and even if you have to don't let her mom know you two are together anymore, just so you won't have to deal with her negativity.Good Luck!