I've been living with my boyfriend for a year, and he's allergic to grass and some plants, so no plants can be touched at any time.
Since September, his OCD has become extremely severe. I was at school this semester, and he wouldn't let me touch my schoolbooks or notebooks. He'll ask the same question hundreds of times in a row (Usually, "Am I clean?"). There's a gigantic pile of laundry in my bedroom, because he'll throw clean clothes back in when they've just been washed. I can't bring food inside or use my own toilet. He makes me take 32 showers in a row, and he won't let me use my phone because it's "dirty." He keeps promising to "clean" it, but doesn't, then says it's my fault for asking about it (makes him nervous). The dishes haven't been washed in 4 months. I told him 2 months ago that we would need to go to couples therapy or our relationship would fall apart. We haven't. He is not currently in therapy or on medication. He does not pay rent.
2006-12-21 10:11:39 · 14 answers · asked by Melissa J 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm dealing with a lot of guilt, because I promised I'd support him. Please don't call me crazy for staying this long. He's been making small improvements, but I feel like it isn't enough, even though I know it's hard for him.
2006-12-21 11:07:36 · update #1
You came on to ask for advice, I think you already know the answer.
2006-12-21 10:13:34 · answer #1 · answered by fodd l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hon, the big question is WHY are you still there?
You can't change him. Only he can make the choice to see the doctor and get on medication and get some counseling.
I had to walk away from a relationship like this. I loved the man with all that is within me, but just couldn't deal with the OCD.
Once you are away from it you will be amazed at how crazy your life has been. A lifetime with this will drive you nuts.
We all have people that we love and can't be with.
It isn't your job to take care of or fix this man.
2006-12-21 10:47:26 · answer #2 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey speaking from personal experience LEAVE HIM if he refuses therapy. Your life is basically being held hostage by his problem and he should be in therapy and should be on meds.
He will suck the life out of you emotionally, financially and spirtually all the while he refuses to face his problems. I'm sure you have feelings of guilt and you feel sorry for him, but the simple fact is you aren't responsible for him and he's not taking any responsibility for himself.
Don't sacrifice your life because he won't face his problem. Mental disorders are a serious thing and they do not go away, this is a chronic illness that he will have for life.
2006-12-21 10:19:58 · answer #3 · answered by hw 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Are you serious?
He's a nut case and he's bringing you down... You need to move on; you shouldn't have to deal with all his problems. Let him figure that out on his own, and if he ever does, then maybe he can think of being in a relationship. He can't expect anyone to put up with his crap...
2006-12-22 02:39:29 · answer #4 · answered by Rob 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself, are you better off with him or without him?
To me it seems a no brainer. I would have left a long time ago. But there seems to be some reason you're staying, and some reason you're considering staying even more. That's why I say, ask yourself if you're better off with or without him.
You promised you'd SUPPORT him? In what way? Financially? It sounds like it. No one likes to break promises, but survival trumps everything. It sounds to me like you're at risk yourself. You can't take care of anyone else if you don't take care of yourself.
2006-12-21 10:14:32 · answer #5 · answered by Joni DaNerd 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hahahaha....
Whatever.
32 showers in a row? No ones hot water heater is that big!
I say lace his food with medication. Then convince him to go to therapy when he's more coherent.
2006-12-21 10:13:56 · answer #6 · answered by Barrett G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With these issues, you need to report to your college's disability office asap. They can help you deal, but even with their help, you can't miss more than 3 classes at most colleges without affecting your grade or finaid.
2016-05-23 07:27:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him the option of therapy only a few more times. If he still refuses you should probably leave him for your own sake.
2006-12-21 10:15:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't live with someone who is mentally unbalanced, The fact that he refuses to seek treatment only confirms his mental problems. You shouldn't be playing marriage with anyone, much less this disturbed, sick boy.
2006-12-21 10:14:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats sad,he has got a problem,u must b the cleanest person out there though
2006-12-21 10:16:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋