okay, I am a woman who has been with my man for 11 years, NO BREAKS...eveything is great and we never fight! It's amazing! I know we will be together till the day we die... But I am not the type of woman that cares about getting married and having this ceremony and spending all this money for one day. I figure, "if it isn't broke, why fix it!" I am not a religious person, so i thought that may have a big part in it. But i just don't think a peice of paper is such a big deal! Am I weird? Why do women care so much about doing this? is it to be center of attention?
2006-12-21 10:07:35 · 17 answers · asked by S.F 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
well you have a great relationship and you never fights thats great i don't think that you r weird if you don't want to get marry then that your desion. Women care soo much b/c it's there big day and they are marrying their dream guy and they have been deaming about this day for soo long. well no not all women get marryed to be center of attention but theres still women that get marryed for the right resons but if you think the marry isn't for you then it's not and if you are good with that then thatz it.
2006-12-21 11:07:07 · answer #1 · answered by cami 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The ones that care about being the center of attention or the actual wedding day are doomed. They're putting more attention and care into the wedding than the actual marriage. I had a small wedding that was very intimate but didn't spend tons of money. I'm a Christian so therefore a marriage is important to me. Not the wedding. I could have gone down and got married at the courthouse for all I care. The paper isn't important either. It's the bond we confess before God. The paper is simply a legality.
I don't think your weird. It's just your choice. Since you aren't a religious person then it shouldn't matter to you what other people think. But - if one of you were to pass away then it makes matters more difficult than if you were married as far as how property and such are divided up unless you take care of that now with right of survivorship and such.
2006-12-21 19:08:27 · answer #2 · answered by flirshous 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think "marriage" and "wedding" is one and the same. You don't have to spend any money or be the center of attention to get married. I agree with you on the "wedding" part; our wedding cost us at most $500 (which included the bride and groom outfits); it was informal, and we had a lot of fun (basically, it was just an excuse to have a party). However, I like being "married". It has nothing to do with religion (both of us are non-religious, leaning into atheism in fact). But socially, it is just easier for a couple when they're married. I don't think it matters all that much in this day and age - but the tax breaks are nice, and being able to have a joint health insurance, car insurance and gym membership saves a lot of money and trouble. Besides, it once and for all puts to rest the stupid question, "So, why aren't you married yet?" This alone is worth the trouble for me. I view legal marriage as more of a practical affair; being that I don't have anything against it in principle, I don't see why not take advantage of the practical benefits it has to offer.
2006-12-21 19:08:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes you are strange. The reason to get married is to know that he plans to be with you forever. without a ring he can pick up and leave whenever he wants. Although you maybe technically married to him already. Some states enact a common law marriage if you live with and are in a relationship with someone for more than a set amount of time (about 10 years) so you may want to make sure you arent married already in your state.
A piece of paper IS a big deal. It is a LEGAL binding contract that both parties must want to enter into. It tells the guy that hey do you want to be with me forever and you dont want to be with any other women ever again? Also if you get pregnant it is trashy to have kids and say "my baby's daddy". I dont care where you live or what your beliefs are, it is still trashy. Everytime the phrase "my baby's daddy" is said people automatically think "trash" or "she is good enough for a man to want to marry, or that guy must be a loser too".
2006-12-22 00:36:58 · answer #4 · answered by Educated 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not all women are fixed on getting married, and because you're not so crazy about the idea, it doesn't make you weird. You just have your own opinion on the matter.
If it's the money for a wedding you're worried about. You could just go to the courthouse, or elope. But if you don't want to get married, don't do it. It doesn't sound like your man is going anywhere either way.
2006-12-21 18:57:22 · answer #5 · answered by ?? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you're weird, but think of the LEGAL benefits.
Tax breaks.
Definitely getting to see one another in the hospital.
Definitely getting what is in the other's will in case of death. Families have fought and won against live-in significant others, even if they were in the will, because they were not family. The significant other ended up with nothing.
If children are ever had, then it is much easier for one (especially the mother) to run off with them and never allow the other to see them.
And many other things!
I don't think you need to get married to be a full person or anything stupid like that. But, that piece of paper makes you legal family, which entitles you to a LOT more--especially in emergencies.
2006-12-22 04:07:13 · answer #6 · answered by Esma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's bad, it's just a preference. Marriage is just a tradition anyway (religious or not), biologically we're not meant to be with just one person for the rest of our lives anyway, otherwise both men and women would be tied to 9months before being able to procreate again. There are great tax breaks to marriage if you're looking at it objectively. As if a piece of paper is going to signify that two people are going to stay together? Uh, look at the divorce rate in this country :) It's love that keeps people together, not an official document.
2006-12-21 18:19:13 · answer #7 · answered by peterchoi77 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, you're not weird at all. You shouldn't get married unless you really want it. However, you may just want to think about the future in terms of any medical decisions and that type of thing. It won't matter how long you've been together. If you're not legally married, you will not be able to make those decisions in case he can't. If something happens to him, you will have no say so in anything. My grandmother had a common law husband for over 20 years and when she died, it was her family, who had not even seen her in years that had to make funeral arrangements anad the BF/husband did not get one say so. I don't believe that was right, but that's just how it is. You may just want to think about that. You don't have to have a big ceremony or anything, you can just go to the court house and you'll be just as married, but you may want to think about long term issues like medical decisions. But, no, you're not weird for not wanting to get married.
2006-12-21 18:18:51 · answer #8 · answered by First Lady 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no i think marriage is not over rated it just does not work out for certain people. it's just not meant to be and to all those that are still together congrats...lol.... a peiece of paper does not mean anything your right. but your morales do. if you don't believe in a big wedding then don't have a big ceromony you don't have to nobody is putting a gun to your head. some wemon just dream about the big wedding and no it does not mean they want to be the center of attention they just want those that are close to them to share her most special moment. there is nothing wrong with getting married. if it happens it happens don't rush your self besides what's the hurry...he isn't going no where.....lol....j/k best of luck to you.
2006-12-21 18:20:06 · answer #9 · answered by ms.marvelous51 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay the way you are because too many long term relationship end in divorce within a couple of years of getting married. That piece of paper implies ownership and that is the killer.
2006-12-21 18:12:42 · answer #10 · answered by Ted T 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋