My mom is suicidal and i cant take it anymore?

Question

I know it's not her fault,she has alot of mental issues and has bad depression/anxiety. She has three times tried to take her own life unsuccuessfully(thank god),but today i wasnt in and she went to a block of flats to try and jump off to kill herself. Home care team come out and took her hospital but they say there is nothing they can do,she is on pills(dont seem to help) and i'm at my wits end. I work and cant be in house 24hrs of the day,but every time i leave i worry i'm gonna come back and find her not alive anymore. She has even asked them to put her away but they wont,how am i gonna cope,i have anxiety probs of my own.

Answer 1

You poor love. She needs to be sectioned as she's obviously a danger to herself. Can you see your GP as an emergency and demand that they do something?

Try calling The Samaritans - they'll be able to offer you more solutions. What a terrible situation for you (and her). Hope it is resolved soon.

PS: She's very lucky to have you as a daughter. Many would have walked away altogether by now.

Answer 2

Suicide is not the answer. You are seeking help and this is the right thing to do. Try finding a better counselor or going to a youth centre in your local area. Be sure to tell then you dont want your parents to know and the reason why. Failing this call your countries mental health hotline. Google will be able to tell you. Things will get better, i have a few friends who have considered suicide and done self harm but they didn't give up and things got better. Now they are happy people working there way through life. Find something you enjoy and concentrate on that. You have so much of your life ahead of you and it will get better. All the best :)

Answer 3

Im not sure why the hospital say they cant do anything, obviously her meds arent right for a start, speak with her Dr she needs some very real psychiatric assessment that can only come from being observed in a psych ward at a hospital. You need respite, tell him how you are feeling. Remember you are not responsible for your mum and her actions, she's ill and she's not thinking rationally. If you feel you are not getting any assistance ring your local member of parliament, make some noise threaten to sue you'd be surprised how much assistance you can get if you're loud enough. I am terribly sorry you have found yourself in this situation, many would and do abandon relatives with mental illness, its not your burden to carry thats the job of the professionals so make some noise! Its unfortunalte that mental health doesnt appear to be a priority in the hospital system or to the governement who endlessly close hospital beds but you shouldnt be penalised because of that! best wishes!

Answer 4

1. You are brave and quite compassionate. That much is clear.
2. Lets break down this complex situation into two parts
A. Your mother's condition and what is needed.
B. Your psychological well being and what is needed.

You need to understand what you are able to do and what is beyond your control. Keeping that distinction in mind is vital in terms of dealing with this difficult situation rationally.
You can not "save" your mother. That option is not really, as far as I can tell, available. You can, possibly, help her. And even that is not a certainty. Please understand that your mother, under her own pain and madness, wants you to have a good life and would never want her life to ruin yours. She probably can not tell you that so I am. But trust that it is true.
OK. Now your mother. Nobody out here in web land knows enough about your specific situation to tell you exactly what needs to be done. It does seem clear that she is a danger to herself. If you also believe that to be the case then you need to get legal information about the specific laws in your city regarding the committment of relatives. Under what conditions can someone be committed? How long does the committment last? What legal obligations will you face if you are the one that demands her hospitalization? You need to demand clear legal answers and information so that you know exactly where you stand. Do not accept the comments of whoever. You are gona have to put on some armor, pick up a sword and fight this one out cause you are up against institutions, systems, bueracratic ****** but I promise you that there is assistance and answers out there.
There are city,state,offices that deal directly with mental health/legal issues. There are also non-profit organizations that assist as well.
1. Get more information. Fight for what you need.
2. Take care of yourself as you deal with this.
3. After you have enough information you might have some tough decisions to make.
4. Face that, not alone if possible.
5. Make a decision and then, repeat step 2...take care of yourself and your life regardless of what the final outcome is.
That is what we in web world want, that is what your friends want, that is what your mother both wants and needs.
I wish you all the best
good luck

Answer 5

Yes it might be a good idea for some in-patient care. But there are other options you might like to consider first.

1. Is her depression reactive or endogenous. i.e. is it caused by life events? If so then try to remove her from the cause of the stresses.
Also try to work out whether there are any emotional needs not being taken care of, such as a desire to help others etc.

2. Has she tried other types of medication? Very often one antidepressant won't work, but another type will. And there are LOTS of different types.

3. Try herbal stuff like St Johns Wort

4. Make she is eating a balanced diet, not drinking too much, and getting exercise.

5. Consider ECT therapy - electricity through the head. It sounds bad but is not too bad, apparently. See www.electroboy.com

6. Make sure YOU look after yourself, get enough sleep. Maybe you could benefit from some antidepressants too.

Answer 6

a lot of physical problems like mineral or vitamin deficiency can cause suicidal symptom in addition to stress or metal toxicity. I got on naturopathic supplements and have been improving since then but I always get worried because stress always can throw me back into the suicide rut. Maybe ask her how she thinks you would feel if she killed herself?
If she doesn't care about her life, perhaps caring about your's would help?
Also, if she has metal toxins then deep infrared helps to remove the toxins into the blood stream for removal. I use a ceragem table which has heated rollers to massage my back.
Also, since you have anxiety problems of your own it would be good to get a counsellor or mental health doc to help both of you as anxiety can also rub off on others and make suicide an issue.
"Healing depression and bipolar disorders without drugs" is a good book that will help .

Answer 7

I feel for you (and your mother). I have mental health issues and have attempted suicide several times. All I can suggest to you is take her to Accident & Emergency straight away and get her assessed there by a psychiatrist as an emergency. As a family member you can insist that something be done about it. It sounds like she needs to be in hospital right now, where she can receive the help she needs and you can be supported (as a carer for her) as well. Don't give up on her, you sound like a very caring person, but you need this sorting for your own health as well.

Answer 8

I was mentally ill for a long time, in fact, I was put away to Glenside Hospital via a Court Order back in 1982. I was diagnosed schizophrenic, paranoid, psycopath and suffered from dilusion of grandeur. I was at two mental hospitals in Argentina also, and was cast away by doctors as an incurable case. I had the strength of a beast and could not be held down by eight people.
Believe you me, this I have to share, I was totally healed in 1984 and have not taken a pill ever since and have never ever ever gone back to a mental institution or been under treatment, I turned to Jesus, not religion, but Jesus. He totally healed me and this without a church because I do not go to one,. I started reading the bible and got rid of the unforgiveness inside me and opened my heart to HIM by myself and thanks be to God, I have been well for the past 24 years non stop.
May God find you both

Answer 9

I know this sounds bad, but your right. She might not be alive. The important thing to do is to think about NOW. Spend time with your mother, take her to lunch. Brighten her days and don't mention her problems to her. The less she thinks about them, the more likely they are to go away. Take her on a Spa Vacation. She can relax, and you can relax. You can spend time with one another and hopefully enjoy each other's presence. My mother and I both have mental problems which I will not further get into and they get us into many fights. Yes, i've considered my own suicide, but gotten out of it. I know there's two sides to my mother, and I enjoy the better side.

Answer 10

i'm pretty sure you are frustrated.... has she had help therapy phsycologist something besides pills......i agree with one of the people to have a surprise party for her do stuff with her. what did she like in her past what made her excited bring new things in her life that will cause joy, make her get up give her motivation. it's not the end of the world girl there is light at the end of the tunnel just pray if your religious as well. i'll pray for you, but even that you should try to find a support group for her find activities for her as well to keep her busy.