Is it selfish to wait until you are in your late 30's to have a child?

Answer 1

No. You should have children if and when you choose, except that waiting until you're too old to participate fully in their childhood, or tolive to see them grow into adults, is not in the best interest of the children. But late 30's is not that old.

Answer 2

I don't really feel it's anyone's right but yours to say whether or not it's selfish. No one knows your situation better than you, so no one else is in a position to comment.

Perhaps you weren't in a financial situation that was even remotely suitable for bringing a baby into the world? Maybe you've had medical problems that have delayed you until this point? Since we don't know, we really can't say either way.

Quite frankly, I believe there are some people that should have waited until their late 30's to have kids, that way they wouldn't have popped out more than they can care for!

Though some women do have selfish reasons, not everyone is in the same boat. So before rushing to judgment, I'd take a look at the person's circumstances first.

Answer 3

I don't think so at all. 30 is still young enough where the likelihood of you having any pregnancy problems is low (thus, there's a better chance the baby would be born without any complications, and less of a chance of bedrest for you while pregnant, or anything like that). Likewise, I think that at 30 years old, a woman would probably be well-established in life, with a stable marriage, job, and personal life -- the ideal environment for a baby to be raised in! :) So no, in my opinion, it's not selfish at all to wait until you're 30 to have a child; in fact, I think it's the exact opposite. I hope this helps and good luck with when/if you decide to have a child! :) Take care!

Answer 4

Not at all!
It is more selfish to bring a child into the world without having the financial resources, the self knowledge etc...

these days, it is those of us in their mid to late 30's that have the better resources to manage having a child in the first place.

Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there a plenty of 20 something's out there that will disagree- great if you have your lives together well enough to have children, but I think it is fine if not better, to wait until you know without a doubt that is is what you want and you can shoulder the responsibility of it all.

Answer 5

What's selfish is having a child before you can give them your best self. That said---I think I am a better person in my 30's than I used to be in my 20's---I got all of my ya-ya's out and I am now a very devoted mother and I don't resent all of the time, energy and $$$ I spend on/with my child these days. Because I spent time on myself in my 20s I am that much more willing and able to give to my child. Make no mistake---when your children come into this world your life is about them and your wants and needs come 2nd. Any non-parent may argue with me---Those people who say that having children shouldn't keep you from doing the things you want to at any given point in time are not parents. Make sure you are ready to commit to being a good mother; if it happens in your 20's great. If it happens in your 30s--then that's good too.

Answer 6

No. You should have a child when you feel like you are ready to have one. Not when others or society "thinks" you should have one. It's not a bit selfish as long as you are looking out for the well being of the potential child.

Answer 7

no, not selfish at all. When parents are ready, they should have children. I'm a very active, healthy, 40 year old that's pregnant. I think I'm able to give my kids a lot more than when I was in my twenties such as a dad, a house, a stable environment. I wouldn't have been a good mom when I was younger, but I think I do a great job now.

Answer 8

It's not selfish. But women do run the risk that they have left it too late. A friend of mine waited until she was 38 and was told her eggs are no longer viable and she only has a year to find an egg donar as the ferility clinic won't treat her once she is reaches 40.

Answer 9

Not at all . I was 25 when I had my child and I am still trying to catch up. If you wait until you have everything together you will be so much more ready for this great time in your life. It is like being prepared for a hurricane. There is nothing wrong with getting ready.

Answer 10

It is not selfish but I think a little of women are ignoring the consequences of waiting. Every decision has pros and cons. The cons of waiting are being downplayed by women who are promoting waiting. THere are more complications in your late thirties. THis explains the increase in couples going to fertility clinics and the number of couples having trouble with their pregnancies. I just think couples should weigh these facts against their positive reasons for waiting.