I've always been the one to take care of my mom, never her me. And I'm tried & I'm sick of it. Mostly because right now I could really use some TLC myself. So Last month I told my mom that I was having a really tough time & I was going need some extra care. She was so excited about it. So far all she has done is seriously hurt me. On thanksgiving morning she decided to let me know I was putting on weight mostly in my butt area & it was getting out of control, I was fat & how could I do that to my boyfriend? Now I will admit in the last 2 months I've put on 10 pounds (all of which I've lost now) I was stressed I started eating. So now every time I pick up something to eat around her. She goes, 'I don't think you want to eat that,' I'M NOT OVER WEIGHT!!!! She is constantly harassing me, I realized that every time I spend time around her I feel like crap about myself I go home & cry my eyes out. I'm very frustrated. And I don't want to be around her poison for Christmas.
2006-12-21 07:49:19 · 10 answers · asked by Marie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Alright so last weekend she pulled me aside & told me that I wasn't fun to be around any more & I needed to pull it together because she didn't want to have to deal with it. Nobody wants to be around me, nobody knows how to help so I need to deal with it & get it together. (there has been a lot of stuff going on in my life right now & I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH IT.) I asked my sister & my best friend if that was true. (Both of them are very honest people) Both of them said "NO! That yes I'd been understandably sad lately but I wasn't out of line & I still laughed a lot & made them laugh." So I sent my mom this email asking her not to call me or contact me because I wasn't strong enough to deal with her crap right now. She sent me an email back saying that she was sorry, she really did love me & she'd try to be a better mom. Now I don't know what to do! Especially about Christmas. PLEASE HELP!!!
2006-12-21 07:56:29 · update #1
Awww...Marie! I can't believe she's doing this again!! I don't know what you should do for Christmas but I'm so proud of you for putting your foot down. You know your always welcome to come over my place too! I do know that your mom loves you, she just has a funny way of showing it. I'm sorry baby, if you need anything just give me a call!
2006-12-21 08:15:53 · answer #1 · answered by Little Nell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if she continually hurts you, then maybe it's best if you both spend some time away from each other. If you're certain she does it on purpose, have you tried talking to her? If so, and she isn't listening, the best thing is to take some time for yourself. People like that need to learn how their words hurt others - I was seriously hurt by a close family member this year, so I understand how you feel. Tell her you're going to take some time away from her, and why you are taking some time. If you don't live with her, maybe you can stop by on Christmas to say "Merry Christmas" and that, but don't stay.
I hope this helps some!
2006-12-21 07:54:35 · answer #2 · answered by FUBARChick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be with her on Christmas. It is a time for family after all. And hey you know she just wants you to look nice and thin so that when you get older you wont have problem with your health. Next time she says something about eating just say you want half and thats it. And if she says something let her know that you are grown and you can do what you want. But remember to tell her you love her. You should always love your mother.
2006-12-21 07:55:09 · answer #3 · answered by ldalderete 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry that you are having such a difficult time with your mom. You want her to be more encouraging and supportive. You are waiting for the TLC from her that you need and it does not seem to be forthcoming.
I want to urge you to take the high road and do something for her for Christmas. That does not mean that you should not protect yourself from her harshness, but just that you should be loving anyway. It is a challenge to love the unlovable, as I have experienced, but God does that for us.
2006-12-21 08:18:10 · answer #4 · answered by Bob T 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your Mom to lighten up already. As long as you are pleased with your looks that's all that matters honey. I know she's your mother but try to let the remarks slide. Tell her you're not going to listen to those comments anymore and she's wasting her time giving them to you. Once she knows she can't get to you then maybe she will quit. I bet you're really pretty. Hang in there. It's Christmas.
2006-12-21 07:56:17 · answer #5 · answered by righteousrose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is to talk to her. Explain to her that she's hurting your feelings by doing that. Basically have a heart to heart with her. If she still doesn't stop, then start avoiding her. When she starts missing you and realizes that what you told her is true, I feel she'll backdown. Best of luck to you.
2006-12-21 07:57:46 · answer #6 · answered by cajunrescuemedic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'M SORRY TO SAY BUT UR MOM IS A IMMATURE, IGNORANT PERSON HOW DARE SHE BAD MOUTH HER DAUGHTER! BRING IT TO HER ATTENTION AND LET HER KNOW HOW U FEEL IF SHE DOES NOT LISTEN STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM HER IN REALITY SHE IS THE ONE WITH THE ISSUES, SO TO KEEP URSELF SANE AND HAPPY I AM SORRY TO SAY KEEP AWAY! EVEN IF IT IS FOR A WHILE! GOOD LUCK GOD BLESS!!!
2006-12-21 07:55:17 · answer #7 · answered by NONE OF UR BIZ!!!!! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When she makes a comment like that to you, tell her it hurts you when she talks to you like that. Tell her if she continues to be negative around you then you are going to choose to not be around her. Set your boundary and limitations with her. She needs to earn your trust and respect.
2006-12-21 07:52:58 · answer #8 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you told your mom how you felt and she said that she was sorry and that she would try harder. so i say let it go and move on from here. spend the holidays with your mother.
2006-12-21 08:29:33 · answer #9 · answered by here to help 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
cv
2006-12-21 07:51:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋