know its sick and wierd but we can't help feeling this way about each other. I mean even though we are cousins we can't fall out of love. I feel for him deep and I haven't felt like that about any other boy before. I am 16 and my cousin is 21 and I have loved him like forever and I wasn't planning to tell him that I love him romantically until he told me that for some reason he gets jealous whenever he sees me with guys. The only thing we have ever done was kiss once and it was scary. I want to tell my family but he thinks that we should keep it a secret. Please I'm confused and need help!
2006-12-21 07:44:32 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
there are two issues here.
1) That's incest.
2) That's statutory rape. (16 vs 21)
End it now for good.
2006-12-21 07:48:55 · answer #1 · answered by ~*RaMpAgE*~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keeping secrets from your family is not easy and I can understand the uncomfortableness that you must have about this situation. However sometimes you just cannot control your feelings. Since you have only kissed at this time and it has not become a sexual relationship I would keep it to myself for the time being. You are only 16 and he is an adult. If your family was to get mad they could have him put in jail if you have sex with him or anyone 18 and over for that matter. I would try concentrate on meeting someone else and if you are unable to then I would not have sex with him until you are 18. Once you are 18 it is your personal choice and they will unfortunately have to try to understand. I wish you luck.
2006-12-21 07:51:06 · answer #2 · answered by Stacy H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please slow down for a moment and breath deeply!!! Unfortunately, in this day and age not only because of your age AND close family ties, what is going on between the two of you is quite illegal. On the flip side of the coin(not to freak anyone out), in the state of Oklahoma the last I knew, first cousins(such as your mom/dad's biological sister's/brother's child) could legally have a sexual relationship(NO children otherwise it's totally illegal), so long as they were BOTH of legal age of consent. Second cousins(an older biological cousin's child), could legally marry and have children. Legally, there's nothing wrong barring a great age rift(as in your case I'm afraid) with "kissing cousins". On the other hand, with him getting jealous when your with someone else AND wanting to keep your "kiss" a secret, IS a direct indicator as well as your own feelings of being scarred that there is something direly wrong with this situation. Did I mention the fact that he wants to keep everything a secret and everything scarred you? In your shoes, I'd talk to my parents first before making any other decisions about all this. If your afraid to talk to them first, talk to a school counselor or (if you are of any denomination) the pastor of your church so as to help you approach your folks.
2006-12-21 07:59:11 · answer #3 · answered by mangamaniaciam 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, you can't tell your family that you're in love with your cousin because that's sick. You have to bury those feelings for the good of the family. And furthermore a 21 year old man feels real good about having a16 year old girl on his arm. He's getting jealous because he is physically attracted to you. You love him because he's your his cousin. That's all!
2006-12-21 07:51:02 · answer #4 · answered by L.L. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you and your cousin want any sort of a future together, you'll have to leave the country. People just aren't cool about that sort of thing in America, and it poses a danger for any children you might have (they'd be at a great risk for genetic defects).
2006-12-21 07:47:41 · answer #5 · answered by hottie_spaniard 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well - in California at least, its now legal to marry a cousin... all the stuff about genetics having been dis proven scientifically.
However, I wouldn't tell your family yet. I'd wait until you're 18 and see how you and he feel then... if you're still in love then... well, go for it...
Just my .01
2006-12-21 07:48:27 · answer #6 · answered by delicateharmony 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to stay as far away from him as possible. What if you both react to your feelings and you get pregnant. That is going to be hard for your family to deal with. You need to look at the bigger picture. Can you deal with the consequences of "dealing" with your cousin from your family and society. You need to REALLY think this through.
2006-12-21 07:48:19 · answer #7 · answered by jonesty1284 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ummmm move to one of those crazy states where you can marry your cousin? honestly though, you really should put an end to it...procreating within families causes birth defects, handicaps, etc...
you will have a rough ROUGH future together if you consider a relationship. gooooood luck!
2006-12-21 07:47:50 · answer #8 · answered by should be working 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think it will be a good idea, when i was 18 my cousin and i fell in love with each other, when i confronted his family, they did not agree and we were 3rd cousins. my aunt was hounding me all the time.. my advice to you is find someone else, that is not related to u.
2006-12-21 07:47:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know about telling your parents, but that is a little twisted. You realize you can never have kids with this man, too much DNA in common, your kids would have serious problems.
2006-12-21 07:47:35 · answer #10 · answered by Jinny E 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋