How can i be proud of a child that we don't share surname with .Undestand i really love my kid .What must I do?
2006-12-21 07:39:02 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Regardless of the child's name you should be proud of him and raise him accordingly. The fact that the mother does not want your surname to be used would suggest that there are some issues between her and you and / or your family. It needs to be addressed or else the child will be raised within a family that does not respect and/or like one another. That would not be healthy.
2006-12-21 07:45:08 · answer #1 · answered by Rusty E 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you together? If not then I don't suppose you've got a hope of persuading her.
I'm not sure why it means you can't be proud of your child. That seems a shallow and arrogant point of view to me.
If that is really your point of view you might say that she could feel the same. How could she feel proud unless it shared her surname?
Don't assume that because you are a man you have the automatic right to give your child your name. There are no rules.
The answer to your question is that you must learn some acceptance. You have a wonderful child the name is not what's important here at all.
2006-12-21 15:50:16 · answer #2 · answered by delphi13 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the mother of the child doesn't use your name, I don't see the problem!! Just because she doesn't have your family name, doesn't mean you can't be proud of her. You should be proud of her because she is your flesh and blood! Perhaps you could ask the mother to make the childs middle name your family name. I have registered my child under my name! Her father has absolutely no problems with that, and loves her because she is his child! When people refer to me by my surname, at least it's the same as hers, as since she spends 90% of the time with me, it would be a little confusing!! It's only a name ...
2006-12-21 16:02:22 · answer #3 · answered by lynne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Surname is just a name. My oldest daughter has a different last name and its doesnt make a difference to me. If its a girl: its gonna change when they she gets married anyway.
How much you love or are proud of child does not depend on what their name is. My daughters father was so angry when I told him to make it easier for me and the child i was going to give the baby my last name. After a few arguements I gave up and let him win just we didnt have to argue anymore. If you and the mommy arent together: you really dont have a choice... just know that it will be easier for teh child and the mommy to have the last name ecpecially when that child is in school.
2006-12-21 15:50:46 · answer #4 · answered by Kristin Pregnant with #4 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The mother has every right to name the child whatever she wants, as do you! Compromise! The child is still your flesh and blood. Are you worried that the kid is gonna be the next world leader and not have your name or something? I don't really like my mans last name. Perhaps I will name our child after me!
Many women feel this way because they are stripped of their last name in the name of tradition. They want a legacy too! Can you blame them?
2006-12-21 15:49:08 · answer #5 · answered by Dee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand I think that the child should have the father's surname. Just talk to her and tell her how you feel in a nice way.
2006-12-22 18:40:29 · answer #6 · answered by Bubbles24 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
perhaps you should have been married before you started having children together. If your relationship is not that strong she may worry you will split and then she will have children with different surnames, but really, if you dont know why she feels this way then perhaps you have bigger problems than a surname.
Maybe she feels that if you were really a committed father then you would have married her?
Maybe you need to have a talk.
2006-12-22 08:40:55 · answer #7 · answered by ditto 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well depending on your name, your wife im sure has good motives. Realize that shes just thinking of the childs future. On the other hand it would seem wierd if he did not share it with you, so see where you're coming from..... Talk to her about it, But thats you kid, and he will love you unconditionally regaurdless.
2006-12-21 15:43:10 · answer #8 · answered by Im that girl! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Easy, its your kid so you'll be proud regardless. OR you should be any way. I have two daughters and both have my last name not their fathers. I dont like his last name it just didnt sound right. He was really upset so I let him choose their first and middle names. (With proper guidence) I promised if we ever have a boy then he will get his Dads last name so the Family name continues. It's just a last name move on.
2006-12-22 07:13:08 · answer #9 · answered by Monkey Magic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Had the same thing happen to me, do like I did, let her pay for the child, its my kid but she wont let him have what's rightfully his, so i will sit back and not have to pay childsupport and bide my time till he's old enough to understand and make the decision for hisself. In the long run he will hate his mother and turn to me!!! I will add that we were not married so as the courts go, they give her everything she wants including the right to name the child whatever she wants regardless of what the biological father wishes.
2006-12-21 17:53:51 · answer #10 · answered by bassbuster 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋