how do i know i am happy?

Question

i am 20 and my fiance is 23. i have been in a relationship for the past 2 years, i am gettiin married in 6 months and have been tryin for a baby for the past 11 month, but since we got a lodger in the house we own i have been wondering if i'm actually happy? i love the man i am with, and i can't imagine life without him, sometimes i think how hurt i would be if i think of him with someone else, i love him and want him to be my own, but how do you know? how do you know for sure that he is with you and only you? how do you know that he actually loves you? how do you know that you are right for each other? and how do you know when you have fallen for the right person? it hurts for me to type this but how do you know you are even in love?

Answer 1

Tomorrow morning, wake up before him. Turn over in bed and look at him for a couple of minutes. Now, imagine him not being in your life at all, imagine your life completely devoid of his presence for all eternity. If you can imagine that and believe you would be happy with your life that way, then you don't love him and you should stop the wedding and move on before your life becomes chained down to an unhappy marriage and you wake up one day and realize that you have wasted this precious gift known as life..thats what I have to say, remember it..

Answer 2

If you are having these thoughts then the first thing you need to do is put off trying to have that baby, why would you want to bring a baby in the world with this man if you are having these feeling?

I have to say that you sound just like I did with my husband of 21 years and now we are divorcing. Please don't make the same mistake I did, you say that you can't image life without him, well start doing so, be your own person and know that no matter what happens in your life you can stand on you own two feet without a man. If you go into the marriage thinking the way you do it will eventually have an effect on the marriage.
Maybe go to someone that you can really talk to and let them know what is going on in your heart and your head, someone that can give you help without judgement.
Ever need to talk to someone please feel free to email or IM me. What is important here is what you want and your feelings and when you come to terms with that then you can move on with whatever decision you have come to. Best of Luck

Answer 3

You know, a lot of people ask themselves this question and you need to ask yourself if you WANT to love him and if you WANT to be happy. The truly happy and loved people will tell you that both love and happiness are a choice. Do you want to be happy with this man? Do you want to spend your life with him and love him entirely? Then make a choice to do just that. The truth is that life is hard, relationships, even the best ones, take a lot of work and no matter how much you love each other, you will have days you want to run away. In the end - those people who are happy despite the circumstances, and survive through the days that make you want to run are the ones who choose to be happy and love anyways.

Answer 4

Welcome to my world...............I think I 'know', but then I am off in love with someone else a few months later.

I guess that it is just a gamble really, and like all good gamblers, you have to look at the evidence, and the odds. If the odds are bad, don't take the gamble! And any true gambler will tell you, the gut instinct is the one to trust........

Ask yourself this though, would you rather regret trying, or not trying?

Do you think it's worth the risk of being burnt to try?

Love is a great thing, but it evolves, and like our DNA, it does so in a way unique to every single one of us. Maybe you did love him, but you don't now. Maybe you do love him, but the passion has settled into mutual respect and like.

This is still love.

It's up to you what you want to do with your life and heart.

It's up to you who you trust them with.

Only you know the answers to these questions..........only you can decide what it is you REALLY want.

Regardless of what other people think or say or do.....you have to follow YOUR heart...............listen to it very carefully.......it will speak to you.

If you are having any doubts at all, I would suggest putting the baby plans on hold, it would only add pressure and when you have such a big responsibilty like a child, it's pretty hard to put yourself first.

Having said all of that, this advice comes from the girl with the messiest love life EVER. But how much easier is it to give advice than follow it!

Good luck

Answer 5

do you wake up every morning glad to see him there with you?
do you feel happy when he kisses you good morning or goodnight..or just kisses you period?
do you smile when he calls?
do you feel safe and comfortable in his arms?
does he show you he loves you by his actions AND his words?

if you answered yes to most or all of these...i would say yes you are happy. as for if you are right for each other and if he is the one....you obviously think that already b/c you are getting married and want to have a baby together but i would also say that if you are asking these questions you should not start your family right now. focus on one thing at a time...focus on him, then the wedding, be married for awhile THEN start your family....you both are young and have plenty of time to start a new family together

Answer 6

life n love come with n garrenties not even once u'v made a promis 2 god re ur commitment 2 each other in marrage. if ur having all these dubts now were r they coming from? u dont sound happy is he the right man ? if he makes u feel so insecure now marrage want help n watching ur children grow up in a 1 sided relationship ( n uesully wimen luck out here.) will break ur heart.

Answer 7

Theres so many questions. You need to stop thinking of all this and start enjoying him, what if you lose him and never showed him and told him how you feel? How are we here.. Its freaky thinking of religion and love those are two things that we know exist but we cant see it how can you believe in something as pure as love and religion if you cant see it i guess you just do..

and if you were happy u wouldnt be questioning it live life and leave the what ifs alone they will only make you think bad stuf that will lead to changes in your relationship. good luck bye

Answer 8

You don't know, its a risk you need to take. And people change, so what's right just now, might not be in 20 years time without it being anyone's fault. If it feels right and you're happy right now, enjoy and live your life to the full. You could be dead tomorrow, or he could, so there's no point in wondering, but living without regrets. Sound like you might have a bit of cold feet and that's fine. Good luck to both of you!!

Answer 9

You have no business being married , all of these questions should have been asked before you got married. first of all you are way to young to be married. at this time in your life you should be out with friends going to collage or at least a job and going to school . you should be out in the clubs going on vacations and doing all the things that young girls should be doing , not sitting at home wondering if you are in love or not or wondering if your man loves you. and look at it like a blessing that you do not have children right now . you already know the answer to your own question it's up to you to act on it or make your marriage work. and trust me you need a lot of help in your marriage if your feeling the way you feel. happy holidays

Answer 10

Well Claire,thats the question of the century now isn't it?
What is love.If you have any doubts,please don't bring a baby into the world.
The irony is,even though you ask the question out loud,you have the answer inside you.Its in your heart.I'm bothered by the words "it hurts me to type this"That could be your intuition.