Would parents, preferably with teens please help?

Question

As the holiday season has rolled around I realized something, I do not know my mother at all. I have no idea what her intrest are (besides the fact she likes crossword puzzles and does aerobics) or her dislikes. Sure, I know plenty of things she DOESN'T like but that is not very helpful. Yes, I know she is my mom, not my best friend but I think it is a little sad that I know hardly anything about her personality. I do not feel that I can honestly say I know my mother. This is not to say I haven't tried, in my own feeble half hearted way, I have before asked her about her views on things and we often played family games or games with just the two of us. We have laughed a little together but I still feel distant from her like I don;t know my own mother. That is not to say that she is cold, far from it, she is very nice its just like we have no connection some intrest that can bring us closer as mother and daughter. How can I get to know my mother better? I will not mistake my roll as

daughter of course. I have also tried to ask her view on things such as current events but her answers are usually unclear. Again I know I am just her daughter and she does treat me kindly and shows love and many ways towards me. Its just she seems like a boring (probably just me being a teen thinking adults are boring) unopiniated loving mother that I do not connect with

I am 14 by the way

Answer 1

You could start by writing her a note asking her some questions that you would like answered & put it on her pillow. She can either answer them and return it to you in the morning (with some questions of her own) or the following nite on your pillow. The other thing you could do is give her a "survey" to fill out - favorite color, favorite food, etc. or whatever you want to know. Then you could fill out the same survey & give it to her OR make guesses as to how she will answer & see how close you are and have her do the same for you. It would be fun!

Answer 2

Wow! As a mother of a 16 year old boy who is constantly trying to connect with her son, I find it hard to understand why your mom wouldn't want to share her interests with you. Does she show interest in the things that you like to do? Have you tried asking her if the two of you could take an aerobics class together? Ask her to teach you to cook a favorite recipe, Let her know that you're interested in getting to know her...and if that doesn't work, why not show her this,

MOM, take time to really connect with your daughter while you still can. Share your interests with her. Before long she'll be all grown up and ready to go out on her own. Then you'll have missed a wonderful opportunity.

Hope that helps

Answer 3

Well, I am 16 years old in the 11th grade. My parents are somewhat strict. They have guidelines that I have to follow and they set boundaries that I cannot cross. Usually the punishment I get from being disobidient are so bad, I won't dare disobey them. They are quite normal. They let me date (this just recently happened) and they are really linient about how long I stay on the phone and stuff like that. I have the the privalige of being able to stay up untill 10:30 on school nights, and 11:30 on weekends, talk on my cell phone and I have unlimited text, ummm, let's see, I also get a lot of T.V and comuter time. But I have to say, when it comes to my school work, they are downright dirty. lol. But I mean what parents wouldn't be anyway right? FROM 1 TO 5 I RATE MY PARENTS STRICTNESS AS A: 3 (hope this helps!)

Answer 4

Some years ago I used to see these journal type books in the stationery stores that you could get a mother or grandmother to write in for you, all about their life and their feelings, etc. One of these would be a great gift for you to give your mom. Even if you don't have the book, it would be so touching to her just to know that you have realized you don't know much about her as a person. (Because it's an awesome moment to moms when our kids realize we are a person in our own right, as something separate than just a mother.) Maybe you can do this back and forth with your mom on e-mails, if she e-mails. Ask her a question that you wonder about and get her to write a response. You could print all these out and compile a journal of sorts that is all about her. You would really treasure it some day, I'm sure.

Answer 5

There is a book called "ToMy Daughter with Love" that might help you get started. Basically your mom would fill out the first third of the book, then you fill out your section but there are places for stories, favourite things, dreams for you, etc. IT might give you two the chance to start talking about important things and take down that barrier. My mother got this book for us when I was younger and it is amazing, and it is something you pass down to your daughter. It is especially nice to have in case something ever happened then you still have it, my mom passed 10 years ago and I read her entries all the time. Good luck!

Answer 6

I have survived the trauma of being the mother of 3 teenagers. I made sure to communicate with my children even at the times that they absolutely hated me. My children were horrors when puberty kicked in! But, they know my favorite color is red, my favorite flower is the rose, they kept me hip and with it on music and dances and yes I tried to do them. I'll have to say it's a state of mind of the parent. Some can't stay on the line between being the parent and being the friend. I was VERY fortunate that I was mature and strong enough to be a parent and still childish enough to be a friend. I'd wrestle with my children and play games with them and take long walks with them and just talk. As they got older ( 17 and 18) their interests were more on their classmates but I was included in that too. I was always able to express my opinion which they hated because I was usually right. We bumped heads but we knew each other. You keep working on building a more intimate relationship with your mother and you will get to know her. It just takes time.

Answer 7

From a mother of 3 teen boys

I have one suggestion TELL HER WHAT YOU JUST TOLD US!!
If you can't tell her print this out and slip it in a card for Xmas, write on the inside like a coupon " Good for some getting to KNOW each other time" Love Your ________


I know I would personally love that, however keep in mind that she may not like the things you like , you may have to do something you don't care for, for someone you do care for. Oh and this getting to know each other is a two way street, she will be learning plenty too.

Good luck

Answer 8

What I'd do to get closer with my mom...[[I already am]] Reflect about hting from the past[[Your Childhood]] && Let her tell stories...funny ones..it'll bring you closer. Tell her things that bother you. Go out on mother, daughter dates. Then then you can have something in common. && Something to share.


Hope this helps 8)

Answer 9

actually I had the same problem when I was a teen. Didn't know my mom or her background. So one day I asked her. "so mom I have some questions about the time between you living in michigan and then moving to Indiana....how did that happen? at what point did you meet dad?" Just ask questions and let her know you really want to get to know her.

Answer 10

I am 14 too and sometimes I think me and my mom are distant! Maybe talk to her about you instead of trying to get her to talk about herself! Like just go up to her and tell her how your day at school was! If that doesn't work, I would just come out clean and tell her how you feel! Good luck!