Things will be going great for a couple of days but then we get into a huge fight. Sometimes it gets nasty and things are thrown. He never hit me. We got into an arguement over him wanting to sleep on the couch. Now he told me that maybe it would be best if I would get a place of my own but we'll continue dating. For some reason it just doesn't feel right. I don't know what to do. Is there any other options other than moving apart or breaking up?
2006-12-21 07:08:38 · 19 answers · asked by .... 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Couples always fight. What kind of stupid argument is over sleeping on the couch? Let him sleep where he wants. Don't be so picky.
2006-12-21 07:11:09 · answer #1 · answered by Agent Smith 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think if you can't live together, then you should not be together. Did anyone ever fight with their siblings? I know I did! If he hits you, then that shold be a deal breaker. However, if you BOTH want to change, and become better partners, then there are some things you could try. What about going to conseling? You both could go to couple's counseling, and try to sort out your issues. You could, as well as him, go to individual therapy. You could do both! Sometimes the reason you fight, is because of learned behaviors (not b/c you two aren't made for each other). You could both start going to a church. It has helped some people. I am not telling you to go to a Christitan/certain church, but you could experiment with different religions. If you found a church that you both liked, then you could see someone from there. You could start trying yoga, massages, meditating, or any other method of relaxing. Perhaps reading some motivational or self-help books might be beneficial. You two could always "take a break". One of you could move out for two weeks, or however long you think would give you enough time to breathe. During this time don't communicate with each other. I hope some of these things work for you. Only leave someone when you have no feelings left-no anger, sorrow, bitterness....nothing. Once you have made your peace with it, then you are able to leave each other. However...try these things! If he is not willing to try something for your relationship, then you need to leave him. You are much better than that, and you deserve better than that! I really hope that things work out for the best with you two. Good luck! :)
2006-12-21 07:27:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You two could go to counseling because you may be fighting for little reasons but there are undlying issues you both have. That and because before you guys lived together, it was going okay, but now that you live together, you've got to learn to comprimise. You are sharing 1/2 the living space, 1/2 the mess, 1/2 the responsiblity and that is alot of pressure at first. I don't think that living apart will help the situation, in fact, that may lead up to a complete break up. Good luck either way.
2006-12-21 07:14:50 · answer #3 · answered by NestleGirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that it is a tough adjustment moving in together in the beginning, you were both used to have that apart time and now you are together so much more. II think if you move out its such a step back and your relationship won;t ever advance further, you should stay and try to work thigns out together and talk about what the major probs are
IF things continue to get nasty and things are being thrown you may want to get outta there though, it may be a sign that things just aren;t going to work, that you two just weren't ready for this yet.
2006-12-21 07:14:23 · answer #4 · answered by jzgermany 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off if you cant last more than a few days without a huge blown out fight, then you have more issues with one another than just living together.
The problem sounds like communication issues.
Ask yourself what is it that gets us both on edge? Am I asking for too much? is he expecting too much? etc,etc.
Look, Living together at first is a challenge and can become good if in fact you both are willing to sit down and first express how you feel about each other, then each one of you tell the other what you both need in a house mate and what is the worst thing the other can do and then both agree to try and be that house mate for the other and both avoid doing or acting or what ever it is that is that persons worst thing.
Everything in life is a compromise.Learn to do it and learn to expect it and you will see it isn't going to be as bad as you think.Heck you both just might learn to live in harmony.
Good luck!
2006-12-21 07:17:13 · answer #5 · answered by vmaxer85 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've lived with a number of women... practice for marriage I suppose.
From the sounds of it, he simply can't handle living with a woman yet... some guys are like that. With one of my domestic partners (we lived together for 5 years), both of us periodically slept on the couch - either to avoid one another in sleep, or because one of us went to bed much earlier than the other.
But after two months of fighting, the only thing I can suggest is some sort of couples counseling. Talk to a minister or therapist, and see if you can reconcile with each other.
Your only other option is to move out, and hope that continuing dating will eventually lead to you living together again.
I wish you all the best.
-dh
2006-12-21 07:14:46 · answer #6 · answered by delicateharmony 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is hard to live with someone. But once you get use to each others ways, it will get better. When you fight, it's better to go cool off before you start throwing things and then come back and have a rational talk. Try to compromise with each other. Listen to each other. And try to see it from his point of view too and vice versa. It will never work if you two aren't willing to make it work. You can't move in with someone and expect everything to be ok. You have to work for it. Like marriage.
2006-12-21 07:15:03 · answer #7 · answered by Xena 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should move out and get your own place. Doesn't sound like it's going well. Plus... moving in together really does lower the success rate of future marriage between the two of you (take my word... and the statistic words for it!)... if you ever do end up getting married. Moving in together is a way to "play" married without the real commitment. It really screws things up in my personal opinion... from my own personal experience.
2006-12-21 07:16:26 · answer #8 · answered by AngelBaby 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You guys aren't ready for all that yet. You should really consider living separate again before it turns physical. Throwing things and breaking them can only lead to more violence. Nobody says you have to stop seeing each other but there are some very big maturity issues here. People who care for each other don't fight and break stuff. God Bless and Take Care.
2006-12-21 07:21:55 · answer #9 · answered by Dah veed 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
expensive pass over-guided, in this actual difficulty, i'd say that extra time getting to appreciate your i'm assuming boyfriend (you employ the word "new guy") to perceive him. What you will desire to understand to make this technique lots extra handy, are some significant questions and activities which you will desire to understand/do approximately/with him with the intention to entice close a extra constructive sense of the outcomes in case you do settle directly to stay consisting of him. as an occasion, what number relationships has he had, why did the relationships end, is his character comparable on your ex-boyfriend's character and additionally posing some eventualities for him that may assist you settle on if shifting in with him is the terrific determination for you. additionally, have you ever met his dad and mom? and has he met your dad and mom? Are his dad and mom divorced/separated/widowed? learn those solutions with yours and communicate the possibility of residing together, can assist you to with this determination. truly, the affection physician
2016-12-15 05:42:11 · answer #10 · answered by lacross 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋