...she invites her over to her house, chats on the phone, buys her gifts, and gives her money. My fiance and I are both treated like dirt by my future mother-in-law. She's even decided that she and the rest of the family will be spending Christmas Eve with the ex and my fiance is not invited. (He can't be around his ex since we had to get a restraining order against her because she threatened to kill us). My mother-in-law just can't see past this girl! My fiance and his ex do have a child together who is almost 14 years old but they've been broken up for 11 years and my fiance and I have been together for 6. Is is just me or is this weird?
2006-12-21 06:42:15 · 12 answers · asked by Jenna G 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It certainly is a bit weird but my mom is friendly with my first wife but does not spend time with her or anything. We have both moved on and are at family functions together and can be very civil to one and other. As they have a child together it is understandable that the grandma would want to remain friendly with her, but it is a shame that everyone involved wasn't mature enough to spend the time together on special occasions. Best of luck to you all and do not allow this to interfere with your happiness over the holiday season.
2006-12-21 06:47:10 · answer #1 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In all honesty what I see going on here is that your future mother in law is being extremely inconsiderate towards you, what probably happend is she sees you as a homewrecker, which you're not, whatever happened in their relationship was between them,( there is obviously some reason why that lady couldn't keep a husband), she's playing this to try and get rid of you, I know it bothers you alot, but try not to take it personally, the best thing you can do is just live your life and not worry about how the inlaws are, if she chooses to play best buds with the ex then let her, blow her off too, and if anything it's the ex who is using this to get to you also, some women will stop at nothing to try and ruin your relationship, but I suggest going to this website that I have referred many others too, its a great place to vent and get a perspective on yours and others relationships, its www.ihatemyinlaws.com, i hope that you honestly dont let them ruin your relationship, its alot better when you start to see how mentally keeping them out of your relationship how much better things feel, if they dont want to be with you and your fiance then it's their loss, just go on with your own plans and be supportive of your future husband, cause it's probably draining him too its its bothering you this much, cause he is happy with you and it's probably confusing too, just be there, and make him happy because you dont have to worry about keeping his family happy, they are not the ones that you will be marrying, its him. Good Luck :)
2006-12-21 09:05:38 · answer #2 · answered by Summer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really don't think she dislikes you, but she adores her grandchild.
Now imagine this, if she were on the outs with her grandchilds'
mother, she might not be able to see the kid.
I believe when you two get married and have a child of your own she will change.
Apparently, she is a good grandmother for 14 years and would
be just awful if she lost all ties with her..
She is also frightened and realizes what she is doing is not fair
but again I repeat she wants to see her grandchild.
Give her a chance and put yourself in her place....
It all has to do with her beloved grandchild...
2006-12-21 15:20:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Reading this, I would swear you were my sister writing this question. She is, or was, in a very similar situation. Her hubby's family LOVED his ex wife (who was not a nice person at all), and they often chose to spend time with the ex rather than my sis and her husband. It was a strange situation. Here's one of the worst things they did: My sister was over there, and her husband's mother played a video of the wedding between my sis's husband and his ex wife!!!! Then, the mother-in-law went on and on about how she just knew that the ex was 'the one' and how he cried for months after she left him. It was terrible. Finally, they just stopped going to the in-laws' home.
2006-12-21 06:46:49 · answer #4 · answered by danika1066 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its complicated. Divorce makes a mess of things I know. I advise you to make peace with everyone. Do it for the sake of the children. Be the better person. Make his mother like you. Accept the ex. All of this is much easier when you have peace. You are family now, even the ex. Your life and your fiance's life will be smoother if you accept them into your family. I actually like my bf's ex. It just makes life easier. Good luck.
2006-12-21 06:47:53 · answer #5 · answered by cutencurley_05 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your mother-in-law is really disrespectful and rude, and if I were you I would be deeply offended with this type of treatment. I think you and your fiance should tell her (nicely but frankly) that you both feel hurt and offended by this sort of treatment, that you don't feel that you're welcome into this family, etc. If you're both treated like dirt by this family, do you really want to try to spend time together. Maybe you and your fiance should consider eloping, without her family getting involved. You should spend time with people who love and support you.
2006-12-21 06:50:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like his family just can't get over their break-up... If I were you I would throw your own Christmas gathering and not invite them..
2006-12-21 06:45:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes this is weird but since ya' mother in law treats you & ya' fiancee like "dirt" then it really shouldnt matter to you, b/c she obviously is trying to be spiteful, since you & ya' man r on great terms thats all that should matter, the 2 of u dont need those people to be happy, but it seems as if the 2 of u need 2 stay away from them if you hope 2 remain happy.. since they all like her so much let them date her, u got ya' man so keep away from them!!! misery loves company, cant you see??? 4get them keep ya' head up, smile & be happy~~good luck & best wishes & yes i know its frustrating & at times it gets you down~ but dont you let it ruin your happiness, dont allow them to steal your joy, dont allow them to win!!!! keep on keeping on & continue to smile & shine.....
2006-12-21 06:51:03 · answer #8 · answered by kimmiegaddy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me she thinks that your not the right girl for her son and wants to break you up but she'll get over it you love him and thats that
2006-12-21 06:46:41 · answer #9 · answered by kayia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just becasue she is his mother doesn't mean she can't be nuts. She is crazy.
2006-12-21 06:45:42 · answer #10 · answered by melouofs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋