i'm so sweet but my boyfriend isn't... that bothers me, what can i do?

Question

we've already, talk about it but he says he´s not sweet and he won´t change just because i want so

Answer 1

get a new one

Answer 2

This reminds me of my own relationship. When I met him 13 years ago we were totally different. I was nice and sweet, smiling and always helping people. He wasn't so nice, pick fights with strangers and always acted as if the whole world was out to get him. We were two extremes, from one end to the other. I never thought we would make it. But we loved eachother so much. Through out time we have grown together. We are both edging to the middle of our extremes and are meeting where we together and as individuals need to be. We've taught eachother things that we never thought we would. I've grown into life, learning that I can't please everyone and learning that I must stand up for what I believe. He's changed as well. His anger has lost it's zest. He appreciates his family and his life more. He is helpful to all who request him. We've both helped eachother to be better people. It's truly amazing at what love can do. It'll change us whether we want to or not. Good Luck & God Bless!

Answer 3

d@mn!.. i need to get out of the relationship section; seems like everyone's having the same problems as i am.
i dont know what to say.
my boyfriend is the same way. stubborn.
i bend over backwards for him... and get upset when he doesnt to it in return.
#1. you have to stop expecting him to do stuff.. Ive just come to terms w/ the fact there are just SOME things.. he's not going to do
#2.. you might want to STOP being so sweet to him.. a lot of times, if a man sees what he's missing and sees how the relationship would be if a woman acted like he did... it will open his eyes.
(im not saying be mean or be a pain.. but just stop some of the extra stuff you do... little by little)
#3... you might have to accept the fact that he's not what you want... if he acts certain ways or ALWAYS does certain things that he hasnt changed and isnt WILLING to change.... it may be time to move on.
there are other fish.

good luck

Answer 4

That depends on what you mean by "sweet." If sweet means affection toward you, he may just have a different way of showing his affection toward you. As long as he shows you some affection in his own way, then he's a keeper.

If sweet means that he doesn't get along with other people as easily as you, it's possible that he is a more introspective person than you and isn't much of a social butterfly.

If sweet means he doesn't believe in public displays of affection, maybe he just thinks these things are private matters. On the other hand, he may be from a religious background and a little on the prudish side.

Answer 5

What do you mean when you say sweet though? Do you think of him all the time...get him nice little thoughtful gifts and cards and stuff like that? I do nice stuff for my BF all the time, some stuff that I know most women probably wouldn't bother doing or even want to. Sometimes he throws a bone back. It bothers me sometimes, but I also know he's a good man and if I want to be with him I have to accept that he has a harder time showing things than I do.

Answer 6

life is too short, if he's not what you looking for, go out and find something new. there are plenty of sweet guys out there, and part of being in a relationship is compromise, he could change if he wanted to, and in my opionion he would at least try if he loved you. In other words, if he's not willing to try to be a little more sweet, imagine what else he won't be willing to do. I don't think that is a great demand, but obviously he is set in his ways. But you know what one man won't do, there are hundreds of thousands more who will. So maybe you need to find one of them and give him his walking papers. All the best.

Answer 7

My hubby isn't and I am and sometimes that helps to balance things out. I can buffer him when he is mean and he can stop me from letting people take advantage of me being the sweet person who always wants to help. He won't change per say but as you both get older and mature he may see things differently. Opposites attract and they usually balance out better than 2 people who are the same.

Answer 8

ARGH. I hate that! I'm having the same problem and everyone around me is wondering why I'm still with my b/f. There's really nothing that you can do if he's not willing to change. The only thing I did is to just pull myself away from him emotionally little by little so I can just stop caring just as he does. I don't see the point of my doing so many things for him if he's not going to be doing them back, even after so many conversations and arguments about it.

Good luck. Move on if you need to.

Answer 9

Do you love him? Because sweetness of a person comes with growing up and seeing the parent as a role model. If he grew up seeing a broken family, he will never be sweet. But if you can live up to that,then show him how.

Answer 10

[/sarcasm] Don't worry, eventually he will change! You can love him into being sweet. Just be sure and cator to his every need! [/end_sarcasm]

Seriously though girl, you can be picky!
That's what dating is for, there are things that are negotiable and non-negotiable...for me, being a NICE PERSON is a non-negotiable (required) item! I can get over picky-eating, maybe even poor higene (ok maybe not)...but a jerk is a jerk.

Maybe you leaving him will help him figure out he can't treat people that way, but don't count on it. I say dump him and move on!

Answer 11

if both of you already talked about the situation and he says he's not going to change, then he will not change. you can't change a person, they are who they are. i'd say leave him and look from someone sweeter, i'm pretty sure you'll find someone who will treat you like a queen. Good luck.